6

Though lies are forbidden in Islam, but many of us willingly or unwillingly tell some silly lies often to not to face some situations or to ignore some things. As example, I often can't help to lie to my friends that I'm busy or doing something, or with guests when they ask me to go out, and I don't like to waste time with that.

Or sometimes, we girls have to ignore the opposite gender's invitations to hang out (which is very common, and normal in today's world), ignore them saying that I'm busy these days, or I don't like to hang out that much. (it often happens when we can't tell anything directly.)

In these circumstances, will these silly lies be considered as sin? If so, then what can we do?

5

In Islam, lying is strictly prohibited except in three cases. Allah says (what means):

“It is only those who believe not in the Ayah (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) of Allah, who fabricate falsehood, and it is they who are liars." [16:105]

The three cases in which lying is permissible are:

Imam Ahmad (26731) narrated that Umm Kalthoom bint ‘Uqbah said: I never heard the Messenger of Allah grant a concession allowing any kind of lying except in three cases: a man who says something intending thereby to bring about reconciliation; a man who says something at the time of war; and a man talking to his wife or a woman talking to her husband. [Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in as-Saheehah, 545]

The lies mentioned in the question are:

As example, I often can't help to lie to my friends that I'm busy or doing something, or with guests when they ask me to go out, and I don't like to waste time with that.

Or sometimes, we girls have to ignore the opposite gender's invitations to hang out (which is very common, and normal in today's world), ignore them saying that I'm busy these days, or I don't like to hang out that much. (it often happens when we can't tell anything directly.)

Both of these types of lies are halal because their objective is to bring about reconciliation. Let me put it this way, If person X asks person Y to hangout with him and Y replies that he doesn't want to then the person X may have a negative impression of Y. X may think that Y doesn't want to hangout with him because he doesn't like him. In such situation, if X fears the possibility of that, then he may make up an excuse to avoid going out with him.

The prophet (peace be upon him) permitted these kind of lies and called them "inventing good information". He said:

Narrated Um Kulthum bint `Uqba: That she heard Allah's Messenger (pbuh) saying, "He who makes peace between the people by inventing good information or saying good things, is not a liar." Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari 2692

2

There is a hadith that has roughly this content: a man was being chased by people who wanted to harm him, and I think kill him. They entered his wife's house and asked where her husband is. She drew a circle on the ground without them noticing and pointed to it while she said "he is not here" so she doesn't lie about him being "here". That illustrates the severity of taking not lying seriously in Islam.

There are even ahadith that seem to imply that lying in order to make a joke is haram, but I think that there is some unclarity about the case where everyone who hears it is fully aware that it is a lie for joke effect.

Other ahadith refer to the seriousness of repeating a sin in Islam, mentioning something like "a person lies and keeps lying until they become a liar through and through", meaning repeating a minor sin makes you accustomed to it and carries heavier moral judgement than committing a major sin (say, fornication, homosexual acts, drinking, shouting at your parents) once and abandoning it.

So yes, what you describe carries the judgement of being haram in Islam. From the perspective of Islam, you are expected not to lie for convenience.

An effective way of dealing with those things is saying polite things like "sorry, not today" or "that's outside my comfort zone"; you might want to explain your position to the guys. If you lie to female friends for religious reasons as well, long-term, your best policy would be honesty and disclosure; that way the friendships, if you value them, have a chance of surviving. Seeing how you bother to make pretenses, I assume you do value the friendships.

Disclaimer: I am not a muslim.

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