Before I start, please note that I'm a Muslim and have always been one. I pray regularly without missing a single Salah. I'm not a rebellious person who's just trying to prove islam wrong either. And I try my best to not be ignorant. It's not like this is a new question in my head. I've had this question for years, but it never affected my prayers or kept me from believing. Perhaps because I never answered it and kept postponing it for a later time, or perhaps because I completely ignored it and kept worshipping Allah nonetheless. I've been a practising muslim for years. But recent events in my life have caused me to not be able to ignore this question. And why wouldn't they?
I mean, Islam unquestionably has a huge impact on my life. Be it the way I dress, the way I interact with people, the way I earn etc. I'm supposed to keep myself from doing so many things, restrict my self in so many ways that I wouldn't have to otherwise. I'm supposed to do all that, and I can't even get a single clear proof of it being true? I'm supposed to do all that on just blind faith?
Sure, you have "clear proofs" like 1)the Quran being miraculous in it's linguistic nature 2) it being unchanged and unedited for 1400 years 3) It made true prophecies and of course, 4) the scientific miracles (let's not get into that).
But none of those are proofs FOR ME. I mean, they might be true, but how am I supposed to know? I'm not an arab to see the Quran's linguistic miracle. Is that only for the Arabs to see? What about the rest of the world? Are we literally just supposed to take their word for it? They say no human has been able to beat it. Well that might be, but even if that's the case, how is it miraculous? That just makes it a fine peace of unbeaten work, not a miracle. Isn't a miracle something that when seen, you are sure it's a miracle? And regarding the Quran being unchanged for 1400 years and it making prophecies, I wasn't there to see that. All I've seen is people tell me stories. That's no proof for me. I've just been around for 20 years. How can I judge the legitimacy of a 1400 year old book and it's prophecies? Get to know about them from other people who haven't seen anything themselves either?
See that's the thing. Those "countless clear proofs" I have are just words from other people. The Hadith that describe the prophet and his miracles, how can we be sure about them?
When I see other people, even Muslims sometimes, who don't really care about religion.... I've come to realize that they do so not because they're arrogant. It's that they just can't know if it really is true. The Quran and Hadith mention so many ways in which the disbelievers are going to be tormented for disbelieving, but here's the thing: Is god going to punish us if we disbelieve when we just couldn't have known if Islam even was his religion? I mean no one would want to be tormented forever whatever the cost in this world. The disbelievers do what they do not because they aren't afraid of God or anything (why would anyone be not afraid of God), they do it just because they have no evidence for believing.
I'm in no way saying that Islam is false, I'm just saying that I don't have any proof to back my beliefs up with. It's just blind faith for me. Of course I could rationalize Islam to myself, but rationalization can only go so far. In the end you could rationalize most beliefs to yourself if you WANTED them to be the truth. I don't want that.
It's not like I just want to be happy and have a headache-less life. I really don't care about how happy I am in this world. I don't really care about what I can or cannot have as long as I'm sure about my beliefs. But leaving so many pleasures and opportunities just for something that can't even prove itself obviously is not working for me. It's not like I'm unhappy doing and resisting what the religion says. I'm totally fine doing WHATEVER god asks me to do. It's just that it should be true. Not stories from other people. How can I be absolutely sure and doubtless about Islam? Is that even possible? You Muslims who have no problem with your beliefs, what is it that you know that I don't?
Again, I have no problem in completely doing whatever God's religion says. It's just that I should at least know if it really is true. Just like everyone else in the world.