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Asaalamu alaikum,

I'm extremely confused about selecting the life partner, I see different cases among different people. I do want to know about the fact that if marriage happens by our fate, or does it happen on our own decision.

"And Allah has made for you your mates of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best." [Noble Quran 16:72]

what does this ayat mean? our partner is already selected by him, or its on our choice? and also, we see many people have life partners of different natures

Please enlighten me with this fact, and the related things.

Jazakallah Khaier..

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  • "And Allah has made for you your mates of your own nature, and made for you, out of them, sons and daughters and grandchildren, and provided for you sustenance of the best." [Noble Quran 16:72] – Nadia Ali Jul 12 '16 at 8:29
  • @medi1saif, what does this ayat mean? our partner is already selected by him, or its on our choice? and also, we see many people have life partners of different natures – Nadia Ali Jul 12 '16 at 8:30
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    @medi1Saif, edited – Nadia Ali Jul 12 '16 at 8:37
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Dear Nadia , Everything happens by fate. its gonna be your fate that you will find the right person or it will be your fate that you will say yes to some proposal. it is your fate that you haven't found anybody yet. and by fate i surely meant Allah's Will. so just praise the lord and go with the flow . he must have something planned for you as well.

Surah Al- insan ayat 30:

وَمَا تَشَاءُونَ إِلَّا أَن يَشَاءَ اللَّهُ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا حَكِيمًا And you do not will except that Allah wills. Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Wise.

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    Salam and welcome to Islam SE. Unlike the typical internet forum we expect answers here to be well elaborated, focused on answering the initial Question and claims supported by references, see How to Answer. I strongly recommend you to take our tour and check our help center to learn more about this site. – Medi1Saif Jul 12 '16 at 8:35
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    Why the down vote, would you mind leaving a comment? Even if I disagree to some extent with this answer I'd really be glad if you could explain and help improving this answer by a critical comment! – Medi1Saif Jul 12 '16 at 13:22
  • what down vote? – numerah Sep 21 '16 at 10:33
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  • i have no idea why their is a vote down. – numerah Sep 22 '16 at 11:54
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Yes there's fate and Allah's will as stated in the Quran in many verses like 54:49, but this doesn't mean that we are prohibited from taking decisions or making decisions on doing our best to follow our own ideas and goals. So we have a free will.

You may ask so what about fate? Being able to make decisions and follow our goals doesn't contradict this idea at all, as this only means if Allah had made a plan for us and we had an other, Allah will make it easier to follow HIS plan and harder to go along with our plan (see also this hadith). So that's why we are strongly encouraged to perform istikhara (asking Allah to help or guide as for a choice) once we want to make a (major) decision in our life, such as deciding whether we would marry this person or not!

So the final decision is in our hand, but whether we would be happy or not with what we have done or decided depends on the fate.

The practical side is easy as a woman you will have the right to accept or reject a proposal as stated in the well known hadith. While it is the usually the man who is making a proposal.

A comment on the verse you quoted

Tafsir scholars say this verse show the gifts and blessings of Allah to people, this means there's no direct relevance to fate in this verse. Rather then a listing of gifts Allah gave us: he gave us partners (husband, wife) and out of them children etc. as the context is not fate rather then the gifts of Allah to all humans including disbelievers as the verse partly (and the next verses especially) addresses them. Ibn Kathir at the end of his explanation added this sahih hadith.

See also this fatwa which answers your question as it seems.

And Allah knows best!

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