Coming to terms with the inability to forgive someone before entering Ramadan?

Question

Someone did me wrong causing me heartache and pain. They knew all this and entered Ramadan without saying sorry to me. I have asked them if we could talk about it so I can forgive them and be in peace with myself, but I can't do that because they have been avoiding me (I'm still trying to talk to them).

I'm trying hard not to hate them because prophet Muhammad (peace and blessing of Allah be upon him) said "you do not do evil to those who do evil to you, but you deal with them with forgiveness and kindness." But it's very hard to be kind to someone that has caused you so much pain.

I have also been trying not to pray against or curse them but I been asking Allah swt to always make them feel guilty for what they did to me. Asking him (Allah swt) to give me another chance to release my pain to put everything in the past.

I have heard that you shouldn't enter Ramadan knowing you did someone wrong cause your fasting, your dua, salah, and taraweeh won't be accepted or that you would face it on judgement day something like that. Is that true?

Answer 1

Life is full of good, bad, evil, nice, naive, professional, etc. We, as humans, don't have control over other peoples actions, behaviors, habits, etc. All we can do it to guide them to the straight path, tell them the good from from the bad and give them a hand at the time of need.

As for your case, just do your best, which you said you have already done. Move on. Don't let someones else's bad treatment of the past drag you down. You won't be hold accountable for his/her actions.

Pray for him so that Allah (SWT) guide him to the straight path and become a better individual.

You are the best of creation. Be happy. Stay in the company of good people. You are the average of five people you hang out with.

Answer 2

As a child i was taught to believe that it is to the Holy One Allah...that ALL who hurt or offend another human being...it is to Allah we must ask for forgiveness and let our prayers be unto him for the fixing of the wrong that was done. People rarely say sorry to others-they have hurt or offended...but feel comforted in knowing that Allah corrects ALL. Free yourself from wanting an apology from those who hurt you...just KNOW that Allah sees ALL and repent they shall in this life or the next...we ALL need forgivenesses and mercy..