My name is Rizwan. I am 26 year old. I got engaged a month ago. After the engagement I talked with my fiancé by message just to get to know about her nature, whether she is compatible with me or not. Now I'm in trouble. I don't want to talk with her because I know talking on phone and falling in love after that are hateful towards Allah.

I told her 3 times "I don't want to talk with you; I want to wait until we get married." But whenever I told her I don't want to talk to her, she says "I'm alone, I need your company", bla, bla.

Any suggestion what I should do? Is it permissible to chat with my fiancé?

  • 2
    This question has a touch of asking for advice which is hardly on-topic here on SE. So please consider checking help center and read How to Ask and what you can ask or not to learn more how this site works. On the other hand who told you that following in love is hateful to Allah? Yes one should avoid talking about useless things or on topics which are haraam for non-mahrams but you are still allowed to talk to her even if it is safer and wiser to talk to her one-to-one in presence of a mahram (of her).
    – Medi1Saif
    Commented May 12, 2016 at 6:23
  • I edited the question to make it on-topic. Commented May 12, 2016 at 7:42

1 Answer 1


After engagement I talk with my fiancé on message just to know about her nature. Whether she is compatible with me or not. 

First of all, legally, there is no concept of engagement in Islamic jurisprudence. You are still , and should abide by all the rules and restrictions that apply to interactions between non-mahrams. For instance, you can not talk to her in private or she should not make her voice sound soft and pleasant artificially. Her being engaged to you does not change the rulings.

However, it is also important that you get to know each other before getting married. So what you can do is to meet her with the presence of a third person or two. If you are talking over the phone, put the phone on speaker and let other people also hear your conversation; if you are using a messaging platform, chat in a group; etc.

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