I was in a relation with a girl! But we realized that it's haram, so by the will of ALLAH I broke up with her and made tawba, and I promised her that I will try my best to ask for her hands to her parents.

But we had decided that we will be 'just friends' till then. And in the last 2 years I made many female friends. And as my relation was for one and an half years, it's tough for us to remove this habit at a time!!

So, my question is, is it permissible to have that kind of female friends for me (We are just chatting)?

And if not, then how deep is the sin?

And what I or we will have to do now?

  • Please, provide some more information. Did you have physical relations (sex, kiss or holding hands) with the girl when you were in the relationship? Do your parents know? Commented May 1, 2016 at 13:22
  • Yes.i had kissed and huged her many times. But never committed zina( direct sexual action). My parent don't know anything but her parents knew about us.they actully didnt say anything exceed to her,so we carried on our relation.and we broke up just about a week ago. Commented May 1, 2016 at 14:58
  • What is the meaning of your tawba, if you are still into many relationships which are considered as haram? I mean according shari'a no man should be in a closed room with a foreign woman/girl. And some scholars would say useless chatting is also not permissible with a foreign woman/girl.
    – Medi1Saif
    Commented May 2, 2016 at 7:24
  • My tawba means we won't be in that love relation. We just chat sometime they may b useless and sometime we discuss on islamic topic as a friend. And we dont meet without any useful reason. And if we meet ,we meet in the public places. Commented May 2, 2016 at 9:56
  • You shouldn't ask "what do I'll have to do now" -> opinion based answers-> off-topic. What you are doing is considered as a sin by most scholars -especially salafis. As you shouldn't meet a foreign woman or girl. You can talk to her if necessary for example she sells something and you buy it from her so you ask for a price or quality... If you are classmates maybe a conversation about school would be allowed but meeting them by intention just to chat is considered as a sin as it could lead to zina. This might be a narrow view I agree, but the best would be to get married and leave all this.
    – Medi1Saif
    Commented May 3, 2016 at 6:46

1 Answer 1

             In The Name of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

Sunni view: It is permissible for a Muslim man to chat with a Muslim woman as long as that does not lead them to sin. The permissibility depends on the intention.

Allah almighty, may he be glorified and exalted, says regarding dating (having female friends) (interpretation of the meaning) :

There is no blame upon you for that to which you [indirectly] allude concerning a proposal to women or for what you conceal within yourselves. Allah knows that you will have them in mind. But do not promise them secretly except for saying a proper saying. And do not determine to undertake a marriage contract until the decreed period reaches its end. And know that Allah knows what is within yourselves, so beware of Him. And know that Allah is Forgiving and Forbearing. [2:235]

Scholars have stated that this verse gives men the permission to express their desires and to say things like: "I desire someone like you.", "You're so beautiful.", "I don't want to marry anyone but you!", "If Allah unites us lawfully, I would like that" etc.

Ibn Abbas, Mujahid, Sa`id bin Jubayr, As-Suddi, Ath-Thawri and Ibn Zayd said that the Ayah means to indirectly refer to marriage, such as saying, "I desire someone like you." [Ibn Kathir]

You would not be at fault regarding the proposal you present or hide in your hearts to women. God knows that you will be mindful of them; but do not make arrangements with them secretly, unless you speak honorable words.

What this permits includes seeking affection and laying the groundwork for the state of union. What it forbids is doing prohibited sinful acts or preparing for such an act. [Al-Qushairi]

You may exchange gifts with her and talk with her properly in public places but touching her or kissing her is not permissible.

And what I or we will have to do now?

The best thing for both of you is to get married. Tell your parents and her parents and if both parties agree, then get married. If that is not possible, then don't meet with her alone. It may lead you to sin.

Narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab, Messenger of Allaah {Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam} said: "Whenever a man is alone with a woman shaytan makes a third." [Al-Tirmidhi 3118]

Shia view: It is permissible for you to chat with her if it's not with the intention of last and chatting with her does not lead any of you to sin. For more details, refer to, Rules of Shia Islam regarding socializing.

And what I or we will have to do now?

You may contract nikah Mut'ah with her and then it would be legitimate for you to meet her, go on dates with her, flirt with her and even have sex with her. For more, see conditions of nikah Mut'ah.

  • According to major scholars of islam, any type of private communication between male and female mostly leads to fitna. so it Must be avoided , unless there is some really urgent or common point to tell someone (ofcourse no discussion, just a message to convey) So its better to follow opinion of experts, as in islam, giving fatwa on your own sometimes leads you of out folds of islam as well...
    – user12159
    Commented Oct 6, 2016 at 15:44
  • 1
    "According to major scholars of islam, any type of private communication between male and female mostly leads to fitna." Please cite reference to a scholar who says so. Commented Oct 6, 2016 at 17:34
  • "So its better to follow opinion of experts, as in islam giving fatwa on your own sometimes leads you of out folds of islam as well..." Am I giving fatawa or citing opinions of scholars to answer a question? Commented Oct 6, 2016 at 17:36

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