My mother refuses marriage with a girl (my cousin's sister in law). She says the girl's status is not same as me, and she lives in a village, that means my family is only concern to the social status.

However, we got married in front of quazi and in that occasion two of my wife's cousins were present, and there were witnesses also, but we still didn't announce our marriage to our family members because they will got hurt.

We thought our family issue will be managed, and we will get married again by their permission, but the scenario is different and not as we thought; my guardian is too strict and they are not allowing me to do so.

  • If I want to listen to my family then I'll have to divorce (secretly) that girl.
  • If I don't then I'll have to announce the marriage to society.

Question: Is our marriage valid?

The marriage is already done by papers, although the marriage is not valid by Allah. So the papers/kabin is just like an agreement now, not kabin (my understanding).

This question is a continuation from Should I marry a Muslim girl without my parents' permission?

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    Well questions asking for advise are hardly on-topic on SE. I wonder if you have been married by a qadhi how he could have married you without the necessary conditions? If the conditions where not fulfilled, maybe you should nullify your marriage or do a marriage with all the necessary conditions. As you -as a man- are allowed to marry yourself. But it is always the best to have the agreement of your parents. I can't really see anything new in this question!
    – Medi1Saif
    Apr 27 '16 at 8:36
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    yes, the qadhi is wrong, and he did it only for money/ charge of the marry. any way , now the girls parents is agree to make relationship with us as my family did so many comments on them , please advice.
    – noman
    Apr 27 '16 at 8:41
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    As nim quoted and with the new information you can get married again or at least legalize your marriage. Or is the major problem that you already have marriage papers? Please clarify and add the information to your post!
    – Medi1Saif
    Apr 27 '16 at 9:02

First thing, this site is not support site, personal detailed daily life questions is not suggested in this site. However, I will try to explain some points I think you misunderstood.

Don't get it wrong, Islam highly suggest marriage which provides continuum of Islam. If you and your wife will be religious in your marriage, you should continue marriage and announce to everyone to be valid in Islam. Having problem with you family is not first concern of Islam. Allah ask from us to obey his rules and live your life in these rules. In your situation, it seems you are having conflict with two rules of Islam:

  1. Get Marriage
  2. Obey your parents

Situations like this, you need to look from above and think consequences of your actions;

Is your marriage will lead you an Islamic life?

Is obeying your parent will lead you an Islamic life?

There are 4 outcomes of these questions:

  1. Yes, Yes: If both of outcome leads you to Islamic life, It's up to you. You can decide to make your parent happy. Or you can decide to make your wife happy.
  2. Yes, No: In this part you should choose your marriage. If your parents concern is not an Islamic life, you don't have to obey them. Primary concern of Islam believing Allah and living your life in His way. If your parent suggest other way you don't have to obey them. Don't get frustrated from pain of this life which comes to you because of living Islam. Allah will reward you so many different way in this life or hereafter.
  3. No, Yes: Obviously you should obey your parents and abandon your marriage. However, I must add that divorce is halal in Islam but never highly suggested.
  4. No, No: This is up to you also. You should decide with your concerns. However, as I mentioned, Islam doesn't offer divorce as a first option.

I married my wife without my parents' / guardian's permission. Is it valid? What has been said about the obligation to obey parents and the sanctity of their harassment is this: A work that causes annoyance to the parents and is not obligatory on the child, should not be done, or is hidden from the parents, or pleases them. But their obedience is not obligatory as the obedience of parents [but their harassment is forbidden]. [1]

In the case of child marriage, which is also the question, the consent of the guardian and the father is a condition for the marriage of the daughter, but for the marriage of the son, the consent of the guardian and the father is not a condition. In a boy's marriage, parental permission is not a condition. A boy who is mature and mature can marry the girl he likes and does not need the consent of his parents legally. Even if they disagree, she still has the right to marry anyone she wants. The son is free to choose a wife and the parents have no right to force him to marry a certain girl. A man said to Hazrat Sadegh (as): "I intend to marry a woman, but my parents want me to marry another woman? The Imam said: "Marry the woman you love and leave the woman that your parents desire." He is a boy who has to live with his wife, not his parents. So it should be to her liking, not to her parents. The boy should try to find and like his wife according to the previous criteria and marry her and have nothing to do with wanting or not wanting others. If your parents offer to marry a girl you do not like, say without shame: You want to marry me, not yourself, I am the one who should live with her, not you, I do not like this girl and I am not willing to marry him. Parents may be upset, but it is better for them to be upset than to marry him and face hundreds of problems and be forced to live a life of unhappiness. (2)

[1]. Tabrizi, Javad, جدید New Referendums, Issue 2230, ور Server, First Edition; Fazel Lankarani, Mohammad, Jame 'al-Masa'il, vol. 1, issue 2188; Imam Khomeini, Explanation of Matters (Mahshi), vol. 2, miscellaneous issues, issue 85, p. 675, Islamic Publications, first edition.

(2)Ref: https://makarem.ir/main.aspx?reader=1&lid=0&mid=101614&catid=6527&pid=254676

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