The wife has to obey her husband and he has to provide for her and treat her with kindness. However is the wife allowed to reject sex if she was not in the mood or for any other reason?

It is her body and she is the one that will get pregnant and will have to got through the struggles and pain of labour.

Is his pleasure more important than anything else?

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    If you want i can post an answer but I think I have already answered this Issue here islam.stackexchange.com/questions/27525/…
    – Medi1Saif
    Commented Apr 25, 2016 at 7:09
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    @Medi1Saif What is the woman rejects sex just because she doesn't want to go through the pain of labour? And does the woman still get cursed and her prayers to answered?
    – Aisha
    Commented Apr 28, 2016 at 10:20
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    She would sin in that case (assuming i understand you well and she doesn't want to get pregnant while her husband wants it and they talked it over) but anything else seems to me only an emphasis of this sinful act of rejection. That doesn't mean that she will get cursed or so but that she will commit a sin. And note that this would have negative effects and consequences on their marital life! So they should try to find a conjugal solution.
    – Medi1Saif
    Commented Apr 28, 2016 at 10:29
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    Most traditional fatwas would say the same as the given answers: For your case even classical fatwas say that it is allowed not to become pregnant because of medical reasons, or if becoming pregnant would cause pain or disturb you from your worship (for example if the husband wants you to become pregnant as soon as possible after you gave birth). Some allow contraceptives but it's not allowed to reject having sex at all!
    – Medi1Saif
    Commented Apr 28, 2016 at 13:52
  • you have the right to abstain totally but don't forget that your husband may seek elsewhere.
    – Abr001am
    Commented Jul 25, 2017 at 17:13

1 Answer 1


Peace be upon you,

There are many hadiths which order women not to refuse sex with their husbands. Some of which I know:

1) Prophet Muhammad has siad: "When a man calls his wife for sexual intimacy, then she should come, even if she is (busy) in the cooking area.” (Sunan al-Tirmizi & Sunan al-Nasa’i)

2) The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘If a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses [and does not come], and he spends the night angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning." (Reported by al-Bukhaari)

3) Holy Prophet (S.A.W) said: By the One in Whose hand is my soul, there is no man who calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, but the One Who is above the heavens [i.e. Allaah] will be angry with her, until he (her husband) is pleased with her.”

Therefore, I encourage women not to refuse what their husbands say. Because it is a sin for a woman to make her husband angry, when he commands (but must refuse which is forbidden).

  • Have you ever considered about reading how this hadith should be understood?
    – Medi1Saif
    Commented Apr 25, 2016 at 7:10
  • Yes, I have found this hadith in a article, which was written on the same topic.
    – Ishaq Khan
    Commented Apr 25, 2016 at 11:52
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    Well that is a very narrow view. Yes one can take the hadith literally, but hadith shouldn't be taken higher than quran! And practiced hadith also should be taken higher than a verbal formulated hadith, so this is just a saying it might be said in a situation which isn't applied generally, but the formulation was as is to emphasize a meaning, rather to give general ruling...
    – Medi1Saif
    Commented Apr 26, 2016 at 8:31
  • I do NOT know how the above hadith goes against the Quran @Medi1Saif. Also I would like to add that although Quran has higher precedence over hadith, note that deen is IN-complete without Hadith. e.g. Allah has commanded us to pray. But how do we pray? We find that in Hadith. Commented Aug 26, 2020 at 2:38
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    @ImranOmarBukhsh this is because you read the hadith and read it is stateted in Sahih al-Bukhari and think this is the most sahih hadith reference. While the only think you shouldn't have doubt about its correctness is the qur'an and even the qur'an often must be understood according the context. Further there's a difference between ahadith as there are things the prophet did himself, and things he ordered, others he said or recommended or remained silent about without practicing it or showing the practice himself. You should read my answer linked in my comment above before defending a hadith
    – Medi1Saif
    Commented Aug 26, 2020 at 5:43

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