Assalamu Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu.
I'm in need of advice regarding my marriage.
I have been married to my husband for more than 5 years and we have a child together.
I haven't worked outside home because he provides enough. So I maintain the house, take care of our child and I work voluntarily in Dawah around 2-3 hours per day online.
Normally I try to finish the online work before he comes back from work but sometimes it takes extra time because I need to chat with people and post in social media.
I am happy with what my husband is and is doing for me and my child alhamdulillah. But from time to time, he would say I never obey him and he doesn't want to talk about it because I never change. He said I'm always with the Internet and ignore him. But I don't feel so; I'm trying to do everything to adjust with his time. Sometimes I talk with my family or friends online, he wants me to quit it whenever he wants and he likes that I obey any order he gives. I talk with my family perhaps twice a week, with friends once in a while... I feel it's my rights.
A few days ago he said, I'm always disobedient to him and made him upset every day and He doesn't get love from me. This saddened me so hard so that I don't want to be his wife anymore. Every time he always made me feel I have fault in this or that. Always I'm wrong. I told him because I'm a human I can't be perfect but he is too yet I accept all his nature his answer was because I don't really need him that is why I never complain about him. Everyday I always feel I'm not enough to make him happy, I have to try to please him; I change everything to attain that. But after 5 years passed, it seems I am never enough to satisfy him. So I want to quit now better than later. I'm scared to go out and start to earn for myself and child but I'm so torn and I'm feeling psychologically miserable- I always felt that perhaps I was always wrong but lately I just realized that I don't want to try anymore. Now I feel that he loves to make me feel that I'm always not obedient enough, loving enough...
I want to be a good wife, mother and slave. I'm afraid I die disobedient to my husband while thinking that I am. Am I allowed to ask for a divorce?