All perfect praise be to Allah...
First of all i am very sorry, i was very busy lately and could not answer your question, also i wanted to consult and discuss this in detail, which i have now.(And so the answer is going to be a long one, bear with it :D )
First all the ahadees you mentioned are sahih and are compatible, their is no conflict in ahadees, it is just that the ordinary people like me or you when read them, as they don't have read any great deal of other ahadees, or any more ahadees on same topic, they often get confused and some times extract false things from them, and it is very good you have asked about your confusion. Ahadees are just collection of sayings and doings of prophet, so we cannot expect that one or 2 or 3 ahadees will have all neccessary information with background in them. We have to look in detail and in other ahadees and in quran to get overall meanings and understandings of them. Which is called TATBEEQ تتبیق meaning their how they are compatible.
Now, after above necessary background, coming to the point, your question is now converted to the point that how these 3 ahadees are compatible, not that where does it say plucking these hair are haraam. So, i will answer about compatibility of these 3 ahadees, with the help of quran and hadees inshallah.
Now, firstly the hadees below is sahi and self explanatory, there is additionally some conversation of sahaba about the argument that this is not in Quran than how is it true and answer from sahaba, let me quote full hadees:
It was narrated that 'Abdulleh said: "The Messenger of Allah cursed
the woman who does tattoos and the one who has them done, and those
who pluck their eyebrows and file their teeth for the purpose of
beautification, and those who change the creation of Allah." News of
that reached a woman of Banu Asad who was called Umm Ya'qub. She came
to him and said: "I have heard that you said such and such." He said:
'Why should I not curse those whom the Messenger of Allah cursed ? And
it is in the Book of Allah.'' She said: "I read what is between its
two covers(Quran) 'and I have not found that." He said: "If you read it
properly you would have found it. Have you not read the words: 'And
whatsoever the Messenger (Muhammad) gives you, take it; and whatsoever
he forbids you, abstain (from it).'?" She said: "Of course." He said:
'The Messenger of Allah forbade that." She said: 'I think that your
wife does it.' He said: " Go and look." So she went and looked and she
did not see what she wanted. She said: "I have not seen anything!’
'Abdullah said: "If she was as you say, I would not have kept her with
me. " (Ibn e majah)
So, one thing is clear that if something is not in Quran, but is found in ahadees, than that thing is also as important as one in Quran and Quran orders us to follow prophet in number of verses.
Now comming to the actual question which remains how is this ahdees compatible with other 2 ahadees, first thing you must know that there are number of ahadees in which prophet has cursed on some type pf people, this is not a thing which is completely forbidden. For example from this site.
There are many reported traditions, whereby the Prophet (saws) invoked the curse of Allah on the people who would break the laws of Allah; not because he had anything personal against them, but to educate the believers of the severity of the sin, so that they might be able to avoid it.
We will narrate a few such traditions of the Messenger of Allah (saws):
The Messenger of Allah (saws) invoked Allahs curse on the people who cursed (or abused) their parents.
The Messenger of Allah (saws) invoked Allahs curse on the people who offered a sacrifice on a deity other than Allah.
The Messenger of Allah (saws) invoked Allahs curse on the Jews, who made the graves of their Prophets into places of worship.
The Messenger of Allah (saws) invoked Allahs curse on the men who behave like women, and the women who behave like men.
The Messenger of Allah (saws) invoked Allahs curse on those who pay and receive bribes.
The Messenger of Allah (saws) invoked Allahs curse on the people who wail over their dead.
The Messenger of Allah (saws) never invoked Allahs curse on someone who hurt him personally, but he did invoke Allahs curse on the people who would challenge the laws of Allah Subhanah. He never did take retribution from anyone who did anything against him personally, but if anyone broke any of the laws of Allah, he (saws) exacted full retribution from such people.
(In the last paragraph there is tatbeeq with the second hadees here, which means the prophet never cursed on personal reasons.)
And even in quran a verse is:
Then whoever argues with you about it after [this] knowledge has come
to you - say, "Come, let us call our sons and your sons, our women and
your women, ourselves and yourselves, then supplicate earnestly
[together] and invoke the curse of Allah upon the liars [among us]." 3/61
In this verse allah is ORDERING prophet to curse the liars, what does this mean? This means cursing is not something totally prohibited, it is even ordered by allah for those who deserve.
Now Their are multiple ahadees in which it states that prophet asked Allah to have REHM/mercy on those people whom i have cursed and they were muslims and ddin't deserved it.
A'isha reported that two persons visited Allaah's Messenger
(sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam) and both of them talked about a thing,
of which I am not aware, but that annoyed him and he invoked curse
upon both of them and hurled malediction, and when they went out I
said: Allaah's Messenger, the good would reach everyone but it would
not reach these two. He said: Why so? I said: Because you have invoked
curse and hurled malediction upon both of them. He said: Don't you
know that I have made condition with my Lord saying thus: O Allaah, I
am a human being and that for a Muslim upon whom I invoke curse or
hurl malediction make it a source of purity and reward. Muslim 6285.
Indeed here is the whole chapter in Sahi Muslim on CHAPTER: HE UPON WHOM ALLAAH'S APOSTLE (SALLALLAAHU ALAYHI WA SALLAM) INVOKED CURSE WHEREAS HE IN FACT DID NOT DESERVE IT, IT WOULD BE A SOURCE OF REWARD AND MERCY FOR HIM
We can conclude form above chapter and hadees, that prophet never approved on any curse because of personal reason, he repented from such curse as soon as he noticed.
CONCLUSION: If i try to conclude and summarise all above things, it will be:
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said in al-Qawl al-Mufeed, 1/226.
The difference between cursing a specific person and cursing those who commit sin in general is that the former (cursing a specific person) is not allowed, and the latter (cursing the people who commit sin in general) is allowed. So if you see an innovator, you do not say, ‘May Allaah curse you,’ rather say, ‘May the curse of Allaah be upon those who introduce innovations,’ in general terms. The evidence for that is the fact that when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) cursed some people among the mushrikeen and followers of jaahiliyyah and said: “O Allaah, curse So and so, and So and so, and So and so,” he was told not to do that.
This is the shiekh's view for the poeple whom WE can curse or not, let me add in that for the topic of this question, that, Allah's prophet has cursed on many occassions, and even ordered in quran to curse on liars, it means they deserved to be cursed so ALlah ordered to curse them, now the people prophet was cursing on the occasions of that hadees you mentioned, might one of them did not deserved it, so Allah sent jibrail and forbade prophet from cursing them(by names). And in other hadees prophet has asked Allah to turn the curse in mercy for all those who didn't deserved it(muslims whom prophet cursed by name).
So, now if some one is confuse about that how do we decide which curse was on those who are not deserving and which is valid one? So, again from above fatwa of Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, that if prophet cursed a specific person with name, and he was a muslim, than that is the curse about which prophet has asked Allah to turn it to mercy, and if that was a curse on some people who do specific thing or act, like in the topic hadees, or other many people mentioned above, than it is a valid curse.
اللہ اعلم
Allah knows best
