I have been married for 9 months and my husband and I have not even had one sexual relation. Is my nikkah valid? We didn't even sleep together on the wedding night.
Before answering your question, I would like to go over a concept in Islam called إيلاء (Eela'), which means: the vow of the husband, who has the ability to have intercourse with his wife, to never have intercourse with his wife for at least 4 months.
Allah (SWT) says in Surat Al-Baqarah (verses 226-227)
Now, for your situation, please observe the following scenarios:
- If your husband vowed to not have intercourse with you and it has been more than 4 months, then there are two opinions: 1- based on Madhahb Abu-Hanifah (1), you are divorced automatically, which means, you don't have to go to the judge to ask for the divorce, and your husband doesn't have to say 'I divorce you', and this divorce is counted as one divorce. 2- the Wali of your nikah can ask him to return to normal relations, and if your husband says no, then your Wali can ask for divorce, or you can go to the judge and ask for divorce yourself.
- If your husband did not vow and it has already been more than 4 months, then your Wali can ask him to return to normal relations, and in this case the Eela' is being counted for your husband (يُضرب له الإيلاء), that means your husband has to touch you within 4 months from the day your Wali spoke to him, otherwise you must be divorced. If your husband did not touch you in those 4 months and refused to divorce you, then the judge can divorce you from him.
You, or your Wali, must talk to your husband about your marriage. If he has any problem related to that matter (intercourse) whether psychological or physiological, he then needs to seek help and you should bear with him until his issues are being resolved.
Allah knows best!
(1) The book of Fiqh based on the four Madhahib, by Abdur-Rahman Al-Jazeeri (Book of Divorce, Section of Eela', page 1071)