first, i would like to give an introduction please, so you dont get the wrong idea:

so she's, 14, a really nice, kind, intelligent, funny, religious, down to earth,financially and emotionally weak but physically strong and a mysterious girl. we go to a private school.

so....there were 5 guys, now four( i am talking about sons of millionares here), who..... spoof,impersonate, tease, rag, tantalise, taunt and ridicule her( not bully). these guys have been her class mates since kindergarden and only one of them left last year, who was the most evil and the leader of the group. i dont know if she minds it or not because she's always ignoring them and has got physical only a couple of times only with the fat evil piece of shit, who has now left. the others are also along but they try to keep her mood in mind and would stop if she seems sad. god knows why they do that but whenever i've asked them indirectly, they all point at one another saying he has a mighty crush on her and wouldn't tell her bcz obviosly she'll say no.

they even got to a point last year when her mom came to our school they went to her and told her her daughter was really "cute" and "nice" to which she said thank u but as they came next morning they told her and she went crazy. the other four were like i'm sorry but the evil one was like what can you do about it? she got up and was like how dare you approach my mom and stepforward towards him. thinking she'll step back because she's a MUSLIM GIRL he got closer and repeated his words and thats when she instead grabbed him from the collar and as she was about to pull him her hand slipped down to his pocket which she tore with a ssslllight pull and everyone's like whoa! he got all red and yellow but didn't say anything and covered by saying he didn't want to hurt a little muslim girl and then everyone challanged him to do an arm wrestling match with her. now when i and another guy(shy underdogs) were the only one in class that fat ass came to her and begged her to let him win because if he doesn't everyone will mock him forever. she said nothing but the next day while she was about to win i saw him touching or kicking her feet and then she looked towords his sorry face and let him win. the same way she always forgives them and does not complain to anyone because they're all from very rich and influentail families like politicians,business magnates etc while her single mom is a teacher at a primary school and so she doesn't want to cause problems for her.

the previous year they were you could say ragging her but since the evil spirit left the others are now like flirting and teasing her etc.

they call her sexyback and would start singing sexyback by justin timberlake everytime she's infront which she tries to avoid by sitting in the back seats but at times the teachers change our seats so....and they call her cutie pie when the teacher are around.they even through water on her at pack up time because thats when their parents or drivers or even gaurds are around and when she asked them why they said they like seeing her sexyback get wet which got her so angry but she could do nothing because his gaurds were around. they would tease her to the limits until she gets angry.

BUT however whenever they notice she's sad like when she gets a B on a test etc they would instead console her and stop the teasing for a day or two. they would even lend her their sweater when in early winter she did not have a sweater of our schools uniform( probably because of financial reasons) by telling her they'd start again if she doesn't take it.or would buy her stuff to eat whenever she's sad(she likes food very much and cant ever say no to it no matter how bad the conditions are)

these boys do not know about her personal broke life and thinks she has the strength to bare it which until now i did too, but i came to know when i moved into her neighborhood. i have heard her cries in the school bathroom and heard her praying to her god that she cant always bare them and how can she stop them from crossing their limits of her religion.

now my question is how do i stop those guys? i am neither her best friend( she doesn't have any, its like the whole class is her friend), nor am i physically or financially as strong as anyone of the boys. should i talk to her that i can help her? i mean what would islam say about dealing with these situations because she puts her religion into everything? p.s: i am a not a muslim.

  • First of all i don't think your question is quite on community standards, second thing, if she had followed islam fully, none of this would had happened. Problem is we SAY we are muslim, but we follow islam to the extent we like it, or we know it. And we don't even try to learn islam and its details. Not even basics. Besides this, i think its herself who can help help not anyone else. If you feel something is wrong you must stand by the right thing whoever you are. And try to talk with her on this, like tell her is it ok for her what they do? or she has any problem with this. – Zia Ul Rehman Mughal Feb 26 '16 at 16:01
  • @ZiaUlRehmanMughal i think you got the wrong idea of her. she is a really religious person, prays five times a day, keeps fasts and when asked why she does anything like helping people she hate she's like because her religion asks her to forgive others. she does not allow those boys to approach her because she wants to but because she cant stop them.now my question was what would islam say about it i.e how do you stop people who are much more rich and influencial from bothering you or crossing their limits with you? – scarlett johnson Feb 26 '16 at 16:55
  • You said she has been PHYSICAL with one of those boys and those boys are like that for ling time... Of-course one can't understand the ground reality with just one wuestion. Maybe i mis understood, but islam doesnot allow her to LET THOSE BOYS do what they are doing with her. She should take stand and if she was not ok with all this than she would had done SOME thing which might show she is not ok with all this. But apparently she is ok with it and thats wrong according to islam. That was my point. – Zia Ul Rehman Mughal Feb 27 '16 at 14:18
  • @ZiaUlRehmanMughal, By physical she meant physical aggression nothing else, and your wrong she is suffering otherwise her friend wouldn't try to help her and she wouldn't have been crying in secrecy! – Aboudi Feb 27 '16 at 14:52
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    OK, that makes sense.. sorry for understanding wrong – Zia Ul Rehman Mughal Feb 27 '16 at 15:09

Speaking from a religious prospective, Islam teaches us to be patient in times of difficulties such as these and God has assured us that we will be rewarded for our patience:

"And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives, that would truly be from the things recommended by Allah.'' Surah Ash Shura v43

"And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirun (the patient)". - (Surah Baqarah V155)

"Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning.'' - (Surah Al Zumar V 10)

But also God commands us to act upon which is Evil, which is what you are trying to do by helping your friend:

On the authority of Abu Sa’eed al-Khudree (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say, “Whosoever of you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able to do so, then [let him change it] with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then with his heart — and that is the weakest of faith.” [Muslim]

show this Hadeeth to your friend and tell her that although she will get rewarded for being patient but she does have to stand up against what is evil and wrong!

My advice is to speak to her and make it clear that what she is going through because of the wrongful actions of others is not right, comfort her as a friend tell her that you'll support her and be by her side while she goes through this.

There are a number of actions you can take:

  1. speak to the head teachers in authority at school and make them take action to prevent such thing from happening again
  2. You said this is not bullying, well actually it is, because if she was given a choice she'd rather not go through this.
  3. Stand up for her, not by showing physical aggression but by being smart, when they approach her again, just ask them if her suffering is bringing them joy, they will see the evil of their actions
  4. Seek advice from councillors that you may have at school, they surely know how to help out with issues like these.

Hope I helped!

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If you look at it, you know what to do. Be her friend and take the religion out of the equation since you are dealing with the emotional and mental health side. There is a lot of elements here that you are not aware of. Take the religion out meaning your comments above didn't really provide your depth of knowledge of relationship v.s. religion of faith. Add a relationship of God or Allah (for her) to her by getting her to share how she is feeling and how she views her belief side in this matter. I would share with you that her actions show something of anger inside with aggressive but her ability to think that has developed from her personal struggles gives you ways to reach her as her friend that cares. This means, you need to look and pay attention to these abilities of your friend. Finally, communication and listening to her is a strong way to have her fear connection and based on your comments, there is a lot in her life that gives her no connection to caring but her on her own. Read my words since your dealing with emotions, mental health issues and what seems to be normal for a lot of families today: confusion, no communication, dysfunction, no connection at the family level and anger that can be brought on by a lack of hope. This is tuff to deal with and you should realize that you must keep in mind why she is your friend, what is your motivation to help her and there are times in your life that you must see this is bigger than what you see so accept what you do as a moment in time instead of being her hero but just someone who is her friend and has compassion for someone who hurts.

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  • no offence, but your answer is not clear at all! – Aboudi Feb 26 '16 at 17:01
  • @Aboudi do you mind helping? i just want a muslim's(someone older than me) view since she's very religious. – scarlett johnson Feb 26 '16 at 17:09
  • @ray i think aboudi is right. i cant understand your point. i'm just a normal 14 year old not a detective or i have not done masters in english. do you mean to put the religion out and help her as a friend in general? please correct me if i'm wrong – scarlett johnson Feb 26 '16 at 17:13
  • I mean approach from a friend point of view, she has a belief in God so let her share by getting her to talk to you about these things. But this is issue that requires connection to balance what seems to be a personal life that maybe hard with no real connection. So be her friend, let her know she is important, tell her she needs a hug just to have her feel someone is close to her and finally, just be there for her. I sense that what is happening at school can also be looked at misunderstanding themselves. Connect with your friend can allow you to give her this type of info to help her feel. – Ray Feb 27 '16 at 17:55
  • Adoudi and Scarlett: The answers given will always be unclear when your dealing with the human factor. Each situation has many variables that can't be explained based on a friend, telling the situation not having all the information to present. So for Scarlett, being a friend coming to ask for help from a Muslim point of view when her friend needs something else from a human point of view adds to the confusion of any answer given. So Scarlett, look at your reply back to me, you answered your own confusion of my answer. Be her friend, give her connection and accept her as she is. Just be there. – Ray Feb 27 '16 at 18:04

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