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If I am a Shia girl married to a Sunni boy who doesn't want me to do matam (mourning) only, should I follow my husband or perform the matam no matter what?

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  • Can he stop you from matam in your heart or does he stop you from matam in your own house?
    – Thaqalain
    Sep 1, 2016 at 4:29
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    FWIW both sects don’t allow giving a woman to a husband from the other sect. So what you’re asking isn’t allowed from the beginning
    – Thaqalain
    Nov 19, 2019 at 2:38

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Briefly speaking, to the best of my knowledge and based on what I found as a ruling, there are two items that the wife must have the permission of her husband. One of those items is related to the exit from the home. (Although there are some exceptions that the wives don’t need the permission of their husbands…). But in what you inquired as your question that

If I am a Shia girl married to a Sunni boy who doesn't want me to do matam only, should I follow my husband or perform the matam no matter what?

As a general ruling, Matam for Imam Hussain (a.s.) is a good deed and actually it is permissible in common conditions. But except some items, you are not allowed to get out of the home without the permission of your husband (according to Imam-Khomeini,Tahrir-al-Wasilah) even for matam. Because matam is not considered as a wajib practice that… / you’d better endeavor to obtain his consent or at least you can do matam at home in order to being in… Then I strongly belief Allah will give its complete reward to you as you observe your husband's right (permission). God willing

Reference:

www.pasokhgoo.ir

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    And honestly showing such patience is very rewarding, Insha'allah the Ahl-al-Beyt would reward you themselves
    – Thaqalain
    Nov 19, 2015 at 23:51
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In Shia ism takhaya is allowed meaning u can follow ur religion under cover. if ur husband is sunni and doesn't like like matam n mourning don't do it as going against husband is not permissible by Allah and that's y if u do it will be gunah also husband will stop loving you. BUT YOU CAN DO IT WHEN HE IS NOT AROUND AND DOESNT KNOW ABOUT LIKE IF HE OUT OF HOME.THEN U CAN DO IT CRY N DO MATAM THATS FINE

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  • Salam and welcome to IslamSE the Q&A site about Islam. To learn more about our site and model i.e. what is on- and what is off-topic here I suggest you to take the Tour and check our help center. Note that this sounds like the speech of those who said in the Qur'an:"And when they meet those who believe, they say, "We believe"; but when they are alone with their evil ones, they say, "Indeed, we are with you; we were only mockers." ... "2:14-17 and a wife should respect her husbands decision in his presence and absence.
    – Medi1Saif ♦
    Sep 24, 2018 at 5:48

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