What should I do to seek forgiveness for homosexual sexual relations (not anal sex)? [duplicate]

Question

I have had homosexual urges for years and the other day I had homosexual relations with a man. We did not have anal sex but we did "other sexual things". I am a Hanafi Muslim and I felt bad and I asked Allah to forgive me and I made an intention not to do it again. Is there anything else I have to do to be forgiven?

Answer 1

No, a tawba erases all what is before and can even turn the bad deeds into good deeds, but only if it is sincere. Ask Allah for guidance and remember Allah when you think about these filthy lusts and temptations. And Allah knows best.

Answer 2

You won't have to any anything else than tawba but one have to know the surrounding which he is in makes him do stuff...if that is the case try moving to other place...it may seem tough but what you have to think is the act which you do, can for sure lead you to hell...how long one can live in this world, we do not know, so act wisely....at times it may even be the frnds who you roam with,or the movies you watch,if so stay away from them...one thing to keep in mind is if you are on a way to do this sin and if death catches you,for sure say that heaven will be too far....you don't need an anger of Allah mierly for a pleasure which does not even last for an hour.

And keep in mind a Muslim cannot be a gay.Undoubtedly the sin of homosexuality is one of the worst sins; indeed, it is one of the major sins (kabaa’ir) that Allaah has forbidden. Allaah destroyed the people of Loot (peace be upon him) with the most terrifying kinds of punishment because they persisted in their sin and made this evil action commonplace and acceptable among themselves. Allah will not help until you move towards him.

If you truly repents to Allah, Allah will accept your repentance, and you does not need to confess your sin to anyone.

May Allah help you in overcoming this act.

Allah will not help until you move towards him.

Answer 3

I understand what you've been through as I am now struggling with the same test as what you have.

Alhamdulillah, you had done the right thing by making tawba. As of my experiences, the way ahead of you is going to be tough unless you strengthen your faith and your knowledge of Islam. Seek help always from Allah, be patient and be truthful to yourself. It is a perfect time for you to purify your heart and get closer to your Creator as Allah still put light in your heart to go back to Islam and make tawba.

It is a test for us either you consider being gay as a given characteristic by birth or it is merely a product of the environment. You must believe that Allah will not place a burden greater than you can bear and you have to be confidence that Insya Allah you will strive and shine from this test.

Before you're going too far my brother, please try as hard as you can to obey Allah, this is your jihad, don't give up.

I will pray for you, and please pray for me as well. May Allah will forgive us and guide us to righteous path of Islam. Aamiin.

Wassalamu'alaikum

Answer 4

As‘salaamu alaikum.

I am editing my original post to include a response to some false and misleading statements made by @HughEsco about the people of Lut and what got them destroyed in his answer to this question.

@HughEsco said that he read a commentary on the story of Lut that said that “the sin of Lut‘s neighbors was not their same-sex relations but their non-consensual sexual assault on others.” This assertion is 100% Qur‘anically unsound.

Without doubt, ONE of Lut‘s people‘s sins was their attempt to rape what they thought were young men. But homosexuality all by itself was a horrendous crime that they were guilty of and that Lut had reprimanded them for before Allah ever sent the Angels to destroy them.

Qur‘an 7:80-81: We also sent Lut. He said to his people, “Do you commit lewdness such as no people in creation committed before you? YOU PRACTICE YOUR LUSTS ON MEN IN PREFERENCE TO WOMEN. YOU ARE, INDEED, A PEOPLE TRANSGRESSING BEYOND BOUNDS.”

Qur‘an 26:160-166: The people of Lut rejected the Messengers. Behold! Their brother Lut said to them, “Will you not fear?...OF ALL CREATURES IN THE WORLD, WILL YOU APPROACH MALES AND LEAVE BEHIND WHOM ALLAH CREATED TO BE YOUR MATES? NAY! YOU ARE A PEOPLE TRANSGRESSING.”

The Qur‘an is a Book that makes things clear, and Al-Islam is the last bastion of sane judgment in a world that has lost its ability to distinguish right from wrong.

Homosexual behavior is a grave sin in Islam, and that is beyond dispute. ALLAH HIMSELF declared it wrong and abnormal. It is good that the brother wants to seperate himself from that lifestyle before it becomes a habit

Now, as everyone else said, you have to make tawba. That‘s the first step. You also have to make amends for what you did.

The Qur‘an says, “THUMMA TAABA MIM BA‘DIHEE WA AS‘LAHA” = and then turn far away from it (the evil, sinful conduct) AND MAKE AMENDS....” (6:54).

Making amends means making an effort to “make things right”. The Prophet (as) said that we should follow up an evil deed with a good one, because good deeds cancel out bad deeds.

If I were you I would fast for 60 days. Fasting weakens the urges and impulses of the hawaa, and strengthens the will. This should help you keep from falling weak to temptation going forward.

Fasting is also an ibaadah that Allah loves. Thus fasting might work to get you beyond His Wrath.

Beyond fasting, I would also go give sadaqa to the poor and hungry AS MUCH AS I COULD AFFORD.

May Allah help you with your trial. Ma‘as‘ salaam.

Answer 5

As-salaam alaykum, brother:

I would urge you to obtain and read Professor Scott Siraj al-Haqq Kugle's book: Homosexuality in Islam: Critical Reflections on Gay, Lesbian and Transgender Muslims https://www.charisbooksandmore.com/book/9781851687015

I have only recently began reading this work of ijtihad. Still on the second chapter, so am not yet prepared to comment much on what I have or will learn from this volume. But leaning on the lessons of the research which has led me to Prof. Kugle's work, I would urge that you understand that if we are to view Islam as a faith, and the Quran as guidance for all people and for all times, then we cannot accept the idea of the gates of inquiry have been closed. I would go so far as to say that the work of ijtihad is a responsibility which rests on each of us. The academic rigor required for such work is within the capacity of nearly all of us willing to do the work. And a liberatory theology is available to any who seek it.

If you have had 'homosexual urges for years', I would urge you to reflect on whether this is a test, as asserted by those responding elsewhere on this thread, or perhaps the will of Allah for your life. Surely we are not suggesting here that He was in error to create you as He has. Researchers on human sexuality have documented that perhaps 10% of us have some inclination towards homosexual attraction, and that 1% or 2% of us are only attracted to the same sex. On a planet of 6 billion human beings, that would suggest at least 60 million of us are 'kinsey scale 6' lesbian or gay.

I would be hard pressed to cite a source at the moment, but I have read commentary on the story in the Revelation of the Prophet Lot, pbuh. The conclusion of that author was that the sin of Lot's neighbors was not their same-sex relations but their non-consensual sexual assault on others. Apparently they had a penchant for gambling as well. The Biblical account of that story is particularly troubling as it tells us that Lot sacrificed his own daughter to his neighbor's predation to protect his male guests traveling from afar.

Remember, please, as one of the first Caliphs, Imam Ali made clear "The Qur'an is written in straight lines between two covers. It does not speak by itself. It needs proper interpreters, and the interpreters are human beings." (as reported on page 24 in Abou El Fadl's "Speaking in God's Name"). There exists a rich and poetic literature describing same-sex love in Arabic, Farsi and Urdu. Are we to dismiss those accounts because of the homophobic interpretations of pre-colonial scholars of Islam?

Bukhari's criteria for inclusion of hadith in his sahih collection hinged on whether an unbroken chain of transmission could be documented. But authenticity requires more than a strong isnad. We can be grateful that Bukhari and Muslim spent their lives preserving in writing as best they could the evidence available to them from the oral tradition six generations after the death of the Prophet Muhammad, pbuh, without accepting at face value every report with an intact isnad as the authentic surrah of the Prophet.

We might aspire to compliance with sharia, but we have only our own understanding of the Arabic language canonical sources, informed by the ever fallible human attempts to interpret that to us in the form of tafsir and fiqh.

We can recognize the best intentions perhaps of imperfect men in their attempts to interpret Revelation, and grapple simultaneously with how those interpretations served an existing patriarchal power structure.

If this is a faith for all people, including those 60 million plus lesbians and gay men, and for all time, including for us in this moment, we must recognize that each generation has to continue to probe the canonical sources for guidance and understanding. And we would do well to remember that the over-riding theme of the Quran is justice and compassion.

I believe that a merciful and compassionate God would not create 60 million people only to deny them the joy of sexual relations with the people they choose to love.

-- Hugh Esco