3

I have my father and brother, they are all I have now. My husband recently didn't permit me to go to my Dad home on Eid so it ended in arguing, He called my dad and misbehaved alot used bad language and said that 'Hey! you come and take her'.. It was extreme for me, I was so heartbroken. Even though he is my husband but he has no right to misbehave with my dad whatsoever.

My Dad and Brother along with my Paternal Uncle who live with them also came right away to pick me up after travelling for 3 hours. I started packing. I have two daughters, I packed their stuff too. After I was finished my husband threw all the stuff out of the suit cases so that when my Dad reaches he would have all the time in the world to fight with them. When they reached I started repacking with my brothers help while my Mother-in-law who also happens to be my real Paternal Aunt,My Father-in -law and hubby misbehaved with my Dad and Uncle, They crossed their limits. When I came down my Mother-in-law raised hand on me to which I answered back. Just to let you know she used to misbehave and abuse me before but I never talked back. Well, after this my Dad told me to go sit in the car and lock it, My kids were with them, They started throwing shoes on my Uncle and Dad, They came out and sat in the car and we left, Without my kids and luggage.

This was all from Allah's will, I know they cannot take care of my kids so it's a punishment for them for treating us like this. This all drama was created just because my husband didn't want me to see my Dad which is impossible for me.Tell me what should I do now? I'm in deep grief. I haven't stayed without my kids for even one hour before and now this patience. Please help me brothers n sisters. And give me suggestions in the light of Quran and Hadith. Thanks in advance.

Improve this question
2

3 Answers 3

Reset to default
4

Sister Maria, I am a husband, a son and a brother of a sister myself, I understand you wanted to see your family, If you read your question yourself you have very briefly talked about the incident that started it all, "your husband not allowing you to see your parents”.

Well the problem is he did not want you to go to your parents on Eid , and you wanted to go to your parents on Eid, a very typical scenario in any marriage, but how far are you willing to go to have it your way, I think both of you have proved your point (to any limit, even if it costs you your marriage). A bit childish of both of you if you ask me.

For YOU an ideal situation would have been that you would have asked him to let you go to see your parents and he would have let you to do so.

For HIM an ideal situation would have been that you would have asked him to let you see your parents, he refused and you listened to him then but later try to convince him.

But none of that happened, the EGO got in the way and you both went to the lengths, that was absolutely unnecessary.

Sister since you are on a platform called ISLAM, according to Islam you should have listened to your husband. Also according to Islam your husband should have taken and more polite approach to handle it. But again none of this happened.

Your husband has no right to misbehave with your parents/family. But I think it was the moment of heat and things went worse from bad.

My advice would be to let the things cool down for a bit, speak to your husband directly when its only you and your husband around (no other family members), Apologize to him for making a big deal of something that wasn't a biggie at all, explain him your point of view in a cool and calm manner, make sure you do not talk over each other when having this conversation (it has no affect then) let him speak , listen to him (with open heart) , then ask him to let you speak without him trying to over talk you.

And Insha Allah things will change for better Jazak Allah :)

Improve this answer
6
  • What about "bir al walidayn', I believe this is a greater priority.
    – Abdelrahman Ragab
    Sep 26, 2015 at 16:40
  • @AbdelRahmanShamel I dont know how she is being disobedient to her parents by obeying her husband, yes if he would have asked her to do something that would explicitly harm her parents then bir al walidayn comes into play and she has every right to refuse to do it.
    – M.Ali
    Sep 26, 2015 at 16:45
  • On eid,, one must visit his relatives,, especially if they are your parents,, and bir al walidayn does not mean to harm them,, it is to be good to them,, and her husband telling her not visit her father by such way is wrong.
    – Abdelrahman Ragab
    Sep 26, 2015 at 16:49
  • 1
    @AbdelRahmanShamel Where does it say you MUST Visit your parents on EID day? Also I partially agree with you that her husband was wrong to stop her from seeing her parents but she did it even worse when she not listened to him and made such a big deal out of it. Two wrongs doesnt make it right.
    – M.Ali
    Sep 26, 2015 at 16:51
  • oops, I agree with you @M.Ali, and your advice seems nice. And also you mentioned correctly regarding "Where does it say you MUST Visit your parents on EID day?". In my opinion, although it is good to meet them, but listening to her husband can be considered as a priority. Good luck mate.
    – اللهم صل علی محمد و آل محمد
    Sep 28, 2015 at 18:09
-1

Grab your kids from school and bring them home. You should never listen to an abusive husband coming from an abusive family. Take it from a woman who has been abused.

Improve this answer
1
-2

Ignore what M.Ali said above.....You and him should both apologise to each other. Not just you, like what M.Ali said. Also, you husband sounds abusive...be aware of him in anger state and report to authorities if he tries anything worse. Freedom for all first, then silly husband demands.

Improve this answer
2
  • 1
    are you in a relationship yourself ?
    – M.Ali
    Sep 26, 2015 at 15:45
  • 1
    @bfgbfg you shouldn't comment if you are totally unaware of the culture.
    – user549
    Sep 26, 2015 at 18:48

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .