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I am a born Muslim, I am always alone. I loved my mothet so much. When my mother was alive i could not be with her much because i go to work. She also be at other family homes, then she died, i lose my job, then i married unhappy, i go broke because of him. then i married again he is calculative stingy. i am divorced again.
My sisters stay with my cousins, they have little time or space for me.

Old friends and new ones stay away from me when they know i m a loser. I stay away from them too, as they hate my sad life.

Now i am depress, stress and too much worry as i dont know what to do. All my attemp to get help fail. Sometime nice words but not helpful. Everybody hates me include the landlord, reminding me i several days left, then i must leave.

I never do big sins. i always kind to others, but i face musibah after musibah for yearrrssss. Everywhere i go people bully me with their words and attitude. I have listen to so many halaqa to sooothe my heart, that ALLAH SWT loves me so HE test me. But my sanity is sometime going low, as i feel shame, embarrases, toi much a loser, i lose everything, and i cry in bucketsss of tears, ask ALAH to change the qadar. Still i cannot find way out, even Prophets have sahaba when face difficulties. i dont have anybody but people who mock me.

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  • Maybe the mistake is on your side. If you divorce a man because of not being perfect (ex: stingy, not moneywise) you will never find a man. – user12537 Aug 14 '15 at 3:33
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    @AmericanMuslim You maybe right but a person can be really in sorrow and we should not talk to him like this! – Rehan Ullah Aug 14 '15 at 6:23
  • See also: Qur'an 20:124 and I also suggest you to be perfect in you're obligatory deeds despite hardship. Verily, God created man in toil – servant-of-Wiser Aug 14 '15 at 13:36
  • @Aisha Allah Swt says in Quran" For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.So when you have finished [your duties], then stand up [for worship].And to your Lord direct [your] longing."(Quran,94)when you will be in rememberance of Allah swt you will surely find peace and as in Hadith "This world is a prison for a believer and heaven for a non believer".This world is a place of examination which we all are going through dont get depressed sister our prayers are with you. – Faqirah Aug 15 '15 at 5:09
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Salam. Believe me your words are touching my heart. When a human is born, He faces both joys and sorrows. When one feels joy he should thank God. Also, when one feels sorrow he should thank God. As God says is Surah Abrabhim(ayah no.7):

Blockquote Translation: "And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, 'If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.'"

So when you have good days, thank God and He will lengthen your good days and He will give you more joys. When you have bad days then thank him even more as He will remove the bad days then and will provide you with joys. If you have bad days then don't be ungrateful and don't say "What kind of love does God have for me? He has given me all sorrows of life? If He is my God then why does He do so?" This won't take away the sorrows even it will increase them. But if you say "Thank you God! Yeah it is fact that I am facing bad days from you but You had also given me good days once upon a time. You are testing me and I will pass your test. In exams, there are always tortures! Every human is to be projected to exams and exams always have tortures! There is no exam which says to me to enjoy but all exams give me a tough time. For college exams, I have to wake up nights and study! For finance exams, I have to go to every door of industries and I drop my CV's in intense hot! For health exams, I have to wake up early and run miles in intense cold! But what charms me are results, my Lord! Your exam is upon me and it is really tough as any exam should be but I won't fail! Your exam is that you are making me pass through various hardships as any exam does but I won't give up! My Lord, Even if you didn't gave me joys you gave me life, Even if you didn't give me nice food you provided me with plenty of Oxygen and water! Even if you didn't give me good friends, you gave me a nice mom! And my Lord, life is more precious than the losses due to sorrows! Oxygen and water is more precious than nice food! A mom is more precious than good friends about a count of 6 billion! I won't forget what You have given me for what You haven't given me as what You have given me is more than what you haven't given me! You, my Lord and I, your servant. Lord! I won't disgrace you and you won't let me alone as I am just Yours and You are just mine!"

How lucky you are my sister! You are passing through a time which our Prophet had passed off! Your mother died when you were very young and His mother died when He was very young of about 6. All friends have left you and all friends had left Him. Every one boasts in front of you because of you and every one boasted in front of Him because of Him. And the major part is you are passing through something very critical and you never have been at any major sin and He had passed through something very critical and He had never been at any major sin! You are divorced twice and His two daughters were divorced once which makes it twice grief of divorce for Muhammad! How great you are. I a sinful human am requesting you please pray for me. You are female saint of today and I am begging you to make dua for me, for my guidance and for my spirit to be like yours spirit.

And never forget, there is dawn after every dark night! There is joy after every sorrow! There is Spring after every fall! There is winter after every Summer! There is a good life of my sister after her sorrowful life! Just wait and see but don't get misguided. I promise you the good time of yours has come nearer and even more nearer. You will realize soon that God hasn't forgot you rather He wants to give you most of the joys as joys after sorrows are more sweet!

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Salam,

i'm not good in giving some kind of advises but i experienced similar situations where i really taught, what's wrong with me the world etc. because everything just goes wrong or bad.

My advises are:

  • you should think positive and try to change and to wipe away every bad thing every bad thought with a smile and a positive thought... this would mean you should ask yourself when was i happy and find some very nice tought or memory which let's you smile!
  • If you talk to people be positive nobody could stand or endure to hear complaints and grumblings for a longer time, that could be a reason why people leave you alone!
  • try your best not to be alone, because once you are alone you will focus on your problems, your bad thoughts and stuff.
  • have faith in Allah!!! Because from the words in your Question one feels that you are loosing faith in Allah! This would mean to thank Allah in any case! To be patient and believe that everything Allah has predetermined for you would have good reasons! etc.
  • Read surat Yusuf (12) even if there's -as it seems- no sahih hadith about it! The story seems to have some effect
  • if you still feel things don't get better you should consult a specialist!

I just want to remind you some Verses of the Quran and some words our Prophet (peace be upon him)

  • Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not. [Surat al-Baqara (2:216)]

    كتب عليكم القتال وهو كره لكم وَعَسَى أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ وَعَسَى أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ

    • Who spend [in the cause of Allah ] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good;

[Surat al-I'mran (3:134)

وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ وَاللّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ

  • Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."

[Surat az-Zumar (39:53)]

قل ياعبادي الذين أسرفوا على أنفسهم لا تقنطوا من رحمة الله إن الله يغفر الذنوب جميعا إنه هو الغفور الرحيم

And never forget the devine rule in surat ash-Sharh

  • For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.(5)Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.(6)

[Surat ash-Sharh (94:5-6)]

فإن مع العسر يسرا ( 5 ) إن مع العسر يسرا

Therefore i would suggest to read this surah as often as possible and try to understand/interpret it as if you where addressed by the words

  • Abu Yahya Suhaib bin Sinan (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said,

"How wonderful is the case of a believer; there is good for him in everything and this applies only to a believer.

If prosperity attends him, he expresses gratitude to Allah and that is good for him; and if adversity befalls him, he endures it patiently and that is better for him".

[Sahih Muslim]

وعن أبي يحيى صهيب بن سنان رضي الله عنه قال‏:‏

قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏عجبا لأمر المؤمن إن أمره كله له خير، وليس ذلك لأحد إلا للمؤمن ‏:‏

إن أصابته سراء شكر فكان خيراً له، وإن أصابته ضراء صبر فكان خيراً له‏"‏ ‏(‏‏(‏رواه مسلم‏)‏‏)‏‏.‏

  • Abu Dharr narrated that the Messenger of Allah said :

"Your smiling in the face of your brother is charity, commanding good and forbidding evil is charity, your giving directions to a man lost in the land is charity for you. Your seeing for a man with bad sight is a charity for you, your removal of a rock, a thorn or a bone from the road is charity for you. Your pouring what remains from your bucket into the bucket of your brother is charity for you."

[Jami' at-Tirmidhi]

عَنْ أَبِي ذَرٍّ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم

‏ "‏ تَبَسُّمُكَ فِي وَجْهِ أَخِيكَ لَكَ صَدَقَةٌ وَأَمْرُكَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَنَهْيُكَ عَنِ الْمُنْكَرِ صَدَقَةٌ وَإِرْشَادُكَ الرَّجُلَ فِي أَرْضِ الضَّلاَلِ لَكَ صَدَقَةٌ وَبَصَرُكَ لِلرَّجُلِ الرَّدِيءِ الْبَصَرِ لَكَ صَدَقَةٌ وَإِمَاطَتُكَ الْحَجَرَ وَالشَّوْكَةَ وَالْعَظْمَ عَنِ الطَّرِيقِ لَكَ صَدَقَةٌ وَإِفْرَاغُكَ مِنْ دَلْوِكَ فِي دَلْوِ أَخِيكَ لَكَ صَدَقَةٌ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

قَالَ وَفِي الْبَابِ عَنِ ابْنِ مَسْعُودٍ وَجَابِرٍ وَحُذَيْفَةَ وَعَائِشَةَ وَأَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ ‏.‏ قَالَ أَبُو عِيسَى هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ غَرِيبٌ ‏.‏

  • Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:

“O Allah, benefit me with that which You have taught me, and teach me that which will benefit me, and increase me in knowledge. All praise is due to Allah in every condition, and I seek refuge in Allah from the condition of the people of the Fire (Allāhummanfa'nī bimā 'allamtanī wa 'allimnī mā yanfa'unī, wa zidnī 'ilma, al-ḥamdulillāhi 'alā kulli ḥālin, wa a'ūdhu billāhi min ḥāli ahlin-nār).”

[This is the longest version to be found in Jami' at-Tirmdi hadith hassan gharib/partly qualified as dai'f you may also find shorter Versions in bulugh al-Maram and Sunan ibn Majah]

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، رضى الله عنه قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم

‏ "‏ اللَّهُمَّ انْفَعْنِي بِمَا عَلَّمْتَنِي وَعَلِّمْنِي مَا يَنْفَعُنِي وَزِدْنِي عِلْمًا الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ عَلَى كُلِّ حَالٍ وَأَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنْ حَالِ أَهْلِ النَّارِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

قَالَ هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ غَرِيبٌ مِنْ هَذَا الْوَجْهِ ‏.‏

I hope i could help somehow and may Allah guide as all and help you through and out of your situation!

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Assalamualaikum,

Hope by this time after the two beautiful answers you probably have a calm heart. Both brothers Rehan and Saif touched good points and whatever i am mentioning is in addition to their answers.

Islam is an all encompassing religion. I cannot exactly relate to your issue as every person, problems and their feelings are unique. However, Islam is a religion with rewards at every stage. There's a reward to smile, there's a reward to push a stone or thorn off the walkway or street etc...

Problems are with everyone. Some have bigger while the others have smaller.think of people in Syria, Palestine, Burma, Bosnia. But in the eyes of oneself he/she feels that their problems are the greatest and usually don't want to hear about others' problems.

You have heard many lectures and many advises may have come your way and there's nothing unique anyone can offer here. But there are some who are troubled with their lonesome life, find a huge relief by volunteering. This exposes them to the society, people out of their comfort zone. Sharing a smile with another needy means a world to them. Helping or organizing things for the needy gives appreciation for oneself. You encounter other people more desperate than you and more in pain than you if not the same. You stumble upon people who match your frequency and turn into lifelong friends.

Whatever skill set you have, all you have to do is find a place where you can go and volunteer with all your heart and become selfless. Things won't be rosy right away. For every tree to bear a fruit you need to make an effort first. I'm not sure which country you live in but if you have the ability to go to a masjid and pray there, do so. It gives much more peace and tranquility.

Friends, relatives and outsiders are just people. Have expectation with Allah. HAlthough people tend to help when one is in need, think that no one will help you and every one is busy with their own life. You help others and that one good deed you do you will get a thousand (if not more) back.

May Allah make it easy on you.

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