Since I was 8, every time I got in the shower I would throw water pressure “down there” until my body shook (I believe this is called a climax or orgasm, and I may have emitted maniy but I can’t remember). I read that maniy is supposed to be yellow, but I have only ever had white or clear discharge, so it may have been madhy. After that, I would take my full shower. I started praying and fasting regularly at age 11, when I got my first period. Now, 18, I just learned that A woman is deemed to have reached puberty when one of four things happens:
1 – When she reaches the age of fifteen.
2 – When her pubic hair grows, which is hair around the private parts.
3 – When she emits maniy (fluid released at climax).
4 – When she starts to menstruate.
Does this mean I was baligh at age 8?
Also, I did not know until recently that this was called masturbation (which is haram) and I did not know that ghusl was mandatory after that. Meaning, I continued to pray and fast in a junub state.
I have now made tawba for all the water I wasted and promised to never to do “that” again. But are all the prayers and fasts I’ve done up to now invalid?
If so, should I make them up for 6yrs or 10yrs?
Is there anything else I need to do or I should know in relation to my dilemma?
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1I don't think your prayers, fasts, et al, are invalid since -- assuming that even if you were in an impure state then -- you did not know about it. And anything done out of ignorance, I hope, should be forgivable by Allah.– NajeebCommented Aug 6, 2015 at 6:58
1 Answer
What was this fluid?
If you didn't know a ruling you in first place have to repent your former sin and do your best to never turn back to it.
Many of a woman is in all fatwas i could read described as thin and yellow liquid. While madhy is declared as a sticky white fluid that is emitted when a person is thinking of or desiring intercourse. Its emission is not accompanied by feelings of pleasure, it does not gush out in spurts, and it is not followed by exhaustion. (For details see this fatwa ).
So from your description it seems that none of them really seem to fit (maybe you should also check the meaning of wady, even if this also doesn't seem to fit according your description).
Assumption and consequential rules
Let's assume it was many (semen) in that case you were really balighah (I'm using the female form).
So if you prayed (with hijab) and fasted Ramadan fully -from that age on- afterwards it seems to me that everything might be fine (but Allah knows best). Yes you didn't perform ghusl as you should and maybe one could discuss the niyyah matter widely, but one of the most important things that might still be on your side is that as you said you began taking your shower after this act, so the ghusl itself began later (and I think while doing it you had this in mind, so this would be your -correct- niyyah) and afterwards you might be taheerah (I used the female form) and could pray and fast as you should. Of course if your kind of ghusl has been done during the day of Ramadan that would be problematic for the fast, as they would be considered as invalid (see also this fatwa). As ghusl is needed if semen comes out of a woman even if without intercourse (see this fatwa).
If not I found a fatwa (in Arabic) saying that you must make-up your fasts and prayers from the day you were really balighah, even if you just knew this much later. But also take a look at my answer here about prayers and this specific fatwa on fasts.
Note the 2nd sign of bulugh is a discussed matter among madhabs, so only maliki and hanbali consider this as a major sign, but it applies to rough hair.
What should you do?
So what you should do is as follows (after repentance and asking Allah for forgiveness ...):
- Get sure what you felt was climax or orgasm! I'm not sure about that.
- Get sure this was many, not any other liquid! I do have my doubts that this was the case!
- If it was many you should try to count the days you may have missed, note as stated above if you prayed regularly and fasted fully only those times may count for the fasts where you have done this while fasting!
- If you couldn't count make a good guess and pray and fast until you feel you have "payed your duty".
- Try your best in performing some optional good deeds especially prayers (nafl/sunnah) and fasts and of course any other good deed as we have been told:
...Indeed, good deeds do away with misdeeds. That is a reminder for those who remember. (11:114)
..., and follow an evil deed with a good one to wipe it out, and treat the people with good behavior. (Jami' at-Tirmdihi)
- If you still have doubts and need a clear fatwa you should ask a scholar you trust about your matter face to face!
Here some other hopefully helpful references:
islamweb: many,wady, madhy see also this, on wady, many of a woman, signs of puberty (bulugh).
islamqa: madhy doesn't break fast.
About niyyah: see my answer here.
About opinions on qada' (making up) fasts in case of somebody who didn't know he was doing a sin: see my answer here.
And Allah knows best!