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Salamoualaikoum

I am a muslim moroccan girl. I've been living in france for 3 years for my studies.

Recently, I fell in love with a french guy. I don't know what happened to me. Before that I considered my self a good muslim as I've never approached zina, always offered salat, always been good to people and my parents.

But this year, I don't know what happened. We did some things that I really regret. I repent to Allah every day and I don't know if he had forgiven me for we were together even we appraoched each other.

I've never stopped offering salat and asking Allah to help me because I knew I was blinded by love and shaytan. I was feeling that i was living two different lives.

Recently this guy talked to me about converting to islam (I have never talked to him about that) and that he wanted to marry me so we can live happily. I was very happy.

But recently my mom came from Morocco to visit me and found out about my relationship with him. She insulted me (I know I deserve it). I told her that even if we did not do the right thing, I regret it badly and the guy wants to convert (because he had muslim friends and talked to them about islam before knowing me) and want to ask for my hand.

She said that she will never accept this never ever ever. She started screaming and crying that she will only accept a morrocan if I want her blessing and of course she's my mom I cannot do a thing without her blessings. Every evening when I come home from school, she repeats that to me.

I talked with the guy and told him everything that had happened and that we should stop everything. Be patient until we finish our studies. Have faith in Allahthat and repent to him everyday. He was totally consonant.

We talk very rarely just about the studies. I have his facebook (to be able to see if he is fine without talking to me ) so I found out that when he talks with his friends he is searching and learning more and more about islam and is convinced about it that he want inshallah to follow me and live in morroco because from one hand it will help him as knewly converted.

For my side sometimes i feel that allah has forgiven me (i feel peacefull and happy) and sometimes i feel like the worst person that had ever existed and allah won't forgive me i really love him so much and want him to take my soul satisfiyed by my actions. and every time that we talk about marriage my mother always tells me that she prefer to die or be tortured than to see me mary with a french person even he is a muslim. my question is

  • Do you think allah has forgiven me ?

  • Do you think he is answering my duaa when i asked him to help me ?

  • Do you think he will reward us for being patient and waiting to be stable to get married?

  • Do you think my mother will be able to change her mind?

I am really sorry for my bad English. It is not my first nor my second langage hope you will understand choukran

closed as too broad by Bleeding Fingers Aug 12 '15 at 14:22

Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • What is the social status of this guy? How rich is he? – user12537 Aug 3 '15 at 17:56
  • @AmericanMuslim does this matter? culture is culture, and some parents dont care, they would rather their daughters marry the poorest man as long as he's from their culture, than marry the richest man if he's not. Unfortunately that is the problems with alot of people nowadays :/ – Tashanna Chamma Aug 4 '15 at 8:53
  • Money trumps EVERY culture. – user12537 Aug 4 '15 at 13:11
  • he's still a student he will graduate this year from college et get a master's degree in computer science – seni11 Aug 6 '15 at 11:58
  • Hello and welcome to Islam. I am closing this as too broad because too many question are put in one, it has too much personal information that the question could do without. Plus "Do you think my mother will be able to change her mind?" is opinion-based. I advice you to please trim done the question and the irrelevant details by editing it. And also go through How to Ask to for a better guide of what's expected here on this site. – Bleeding Fingers Aug 12 '15 at 14:22
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Excuse me first to say you wrote down a lot of questions some of these are too broad and you ask us to answer something we can't know. As it's for things which may or may not come in future.

I will try to comment/answer some of them:

1 do you think Allah has forgiven me ?

I think Allah could forgive you as i believe in him and know that Allah says in surat An-Nisa' (4:48):

Shirk is the only sin that Allah does not forgive, and He forgives whomsoever He pleases, other sins than this, for whosoever associates any other partner with Allah, does indeed forge a big lie and commit the most heinous sin.

إن الله لا يغفر أن يشرك به ويغفر ما دون ذلك لمن يشاء ومن يشرك بالله فقد افترى إثما عظيما

2 do you think he is answering my duaa when i asked him to help me ?

Allah answers the du'a as we know and i can't find any reference why he shouldn't answer a du'a from any of us "sinners", but we most do ijtihad in dua' matters this may mean we should try to find the right times, the right moods and believe in Allah and that he answers and choose some right words as thanking Allah (saying Alhamdulillah) during the dua' etc.

As to your questions 3 and 4

do you think he will reward us for being patient and waiting to be stable to get married ?

do you think my mother will be able to change her mind ?

I could only say is you could work on it to smooth the way!

  • By talking to your parents or at least one of them about it.
  • By helping the guy to become a good Muslim
  • by introducing him as a Muslim

But what might or might not happen ... only Allah knows!

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salaamu alaikum sister. to get straight to answering your answers, 1) noone can answer this as only Allah SWT has knowledge of whether He has forgiven you or not. All you can do is continue praying that He does forgive you, and have fear that He doesnt and hope that He does.

2) This is also a question that we cannot answer, and the answer lies with Allah SWT alone. Keep in mind though that you may hate something that is in fact good for us; and love something that is in fact bad for us. We however don't know this, only Allah SWT knows, and if He doesnt answer your duas keep in mind He knows something that you dont which can help you better in the future.

3) if this question is asking for opinions, then mine is that He does but once again noone can make a judgement as only Allah knows everything. He rejects and accepts whatever He pleases

4) This i can definitely answer you. I have a lebanese background and also had these feelings for an Indian boy. He is muslim as well and just about one of the greatest people i have ever met. He is very religious too. When i approached my mother however, her answer was obviously no, simply because he is Indian. This is a huge problem with cultural parents, caring more about culture than religion. This boy was in fact really religious, and probably speaks better arabic than me! There were times i would literally cry myself to sleep from the situation. From praying Istikhara though i found he wasnt the one for me, and i am now engaged (and yes he's lebanese lol). My advice to you is pray Istikhara and see how it goes for you. He may or may not be the one Allah SWT has decreed for you.

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    thank you for answering it really helps !! and yes indeed cultural parents tend to forget about religion. Thank you sister – seni11 Aug 3 '15 at 10:07

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