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Assalamoalikum friends

One of my friend is bisexual.. He has never had sex with a boy nor a girl but he says he is attracted to both. Is it a sin to be bisexual I mean that if you don't have any zina with anyone but being bisexual by yourself..
Is it ok or permissible?
Is having thoughts of intercourse with a same gender ok (only thoughts or fantasies with no real intercourse) so is it okay or not?

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In the Name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Homosexuality and any other sexual deviaton, is a HUGE sin. So it's not "okay" to engage in these filthy sins, and it's not even "okay" to think about it. You're playing games with God, and you're clearly going against His Law and Will, if you do this. You can clearly read in the Qur'an that this is Haram, if you actually read it yourself. I suggest reading the story of Prophet Lut (AS), and see what happens to gay/bi people. They were destroyed. And it's clearly said in this story, and in other parts (aswell as the Sunnah), that this is FORBIDDEN. It's a huge sin. These "fantasies" somebody may be getting, DOES NOT mean that you're like that. It's Shaitaan playing with your mind. And when you have these unnatural urges, DO NOT fall into it! You don't have to follow your desires! If I have the desire to kill someone, does that make me a killer? If I have the desire to rape someone, does that make me a raper? No. You're only like that, if you actually do it. So DO NOT let ANYONE tell you that when you have these thoughts and fantasies, that you're like that, and that you should become like that. Don't be fooled. And I read all your posts, and I know that you're gay, and that you've even had gay intercourse, so I wanna advice you the following. You were NOT born that way! I repeat, you were NOT born that way! NO ONE gets born a homosexual! God does NOT create sinners! We BECOME sinners ourselves. Because nowadays people try to tell me that your DNA decides what your sexual orientation will be... I've never heard so much rubbish in my life... God doesn't make sinners. Everyone is born a Muslm, according to God. If you're gay, you're gay because you chose to become that, by watching things that were forbidden in the first place. Here's some proof that gays were NOT born as gays, and that your DNA has nothing to do with your sexual orientation, hence God does not make gay people. (http://www.redflagnews.com/headlines/identical-twin-studies-prove-homosexuality-is-not-genetic)

That sites PROOFS that you were not born that way, and that your actions and choices determined whether you would've become that, or not. Dr. Zakir Naik also says this in a Q&A session in a lecture (he's both Muslim and medical doctor). So homosexuality is NOT in your genes. Get this outside of your head. It's the same with the fact that God does NOT create murderers. Because the people first claimed that that was also in your "genes", but now it has been disproved AGAIN by science. So in short, God does not create sinners. You should really change, brother, because your story is really dangerous. Every single one of us INDEED HAS A PROBLEM WITH A PARTICULAR SIN! Everyone! Your problem with your particular sin, is this sin, and you should fight against it. The same with that I should fight against my sins, and I shouldn't make excuses or saying that it's "allowed", because that would make me a liar and a hypocrite. You've gotta follow what God commands, bro. Don't let your own desires become a god, I seek refuge of that.

If that person you're referring to, and you yourself, don't change, then you've got problems with God. Don't be of the people of the story of Lut (AS), because they were destroyed, and God will do the same to anyone who's doing the same. Whether here, or there. Or both.

That definently answers it.

God knows best.

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  • If you want a nice counter-argument from the link you posted, it can be found here: religioustolerance.org/hom_caus3.htm – user12537 Jul 19 '15 at 3:11
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    i showed my friend the answers but he argyed on last answer.. he said that he does not want to be gay or bi intentinally but its in his blood.. he s struggling alot yo become straight but whats his fault that he s born in this way?? wnd yeah he has a twin brothet too as you said – hamza jarral Jul 19 '15 at 19:06
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    He's not "born that way". I gave you proof that this is not genetical, so it's in his head, and he should get rid of it as soon as possible. It's also not in his blood. He shouldn't use this as an excuse to keep doing it, because this excuse is not valid, because it's false. He should fight against these feelings and urges. You must know that this is a battle between yourself and your desires (who is teamed-up with Shaitaan). So let the battle/struggle begin. You just have to try to give up on these desires, that's enough for Allah (SWT). May Allah free you of this, and may He forgive you. – user13313 Jul 19 '15 at 21:27
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    Here's some things that may help you and your friend (and anyone else who has this problem): socialinqueery.com/2013/03/18/… abcnews.go.com/Health/Sex/story?id=117465 This one says that it's possible! – user13313 Jul 19 '15 at 21:30
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Having homosexual, or bisexual thoughts is not Haram, there's a lot of evidence to prove this.

Here's a clear cut evidence:

Allah will not call you to account for thoughtlessness in your oaths, but for the intention in your hearts; and He is Oft-forgiving, Most Forbearing. (Al-Baqara: Verse 225)

You're judged based on your intentions, and the rules are clarified in this Hadith:

Allah has written down the good deeds and the bad ones. Then He explained it [by saying that] he who has intended a good deed and has not done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as a full good deed, but if he has intended it and has done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as from ten good deeds to seven hundred times, or many times over. But if he has intended a bad deed and has not done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as a full good deed, but if he has intended it and has done it, Allah writes it down as one bad deed. (It was related by al-Bukhari and Muslim).

The part I highlighted relates to the homosexual/bisexual thoughts, if it is in your thoughts, and you never act upon it, then it is actually recorded as a good deed.

That being said, it is better to refrain from such thoughts, because the more you think about it, the higher probability that one day you will act upon it.

May Allah (swt) give us the strength to refrain from acting upon our evil intentions/thoughts.

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  • My Friend you cannot interpret Quran to your own likeness and put it out of context. There's a famous hadith Innamal aamaalu binniyyaat. (actions are dependent upon their intentions). Forgive me for saying this, but can I have the thought of having affair with your wife or your sister and keep having that desire, is that permissible? I gave you a thumbs down because your answer is completely out of context here. -Hamza you are better off asking a local imam not a google mufti. – Salman Syed Jul 20 '15 at 20:25
  • Please provide reference, or at least some logic behind your accusation that I'm interpreting the Ayah according to my own likeness, that's how you start a constructive dialogue. Provide reference from Quran or Ahadith that says it is a sin to have bad intentions. If you can't, at least provide different interpretation to the Ayah and Hadith I provided above, at least provide a contradictory hadith to the one I posted because the hadith is clear as daylight on this matter. – Allah knows best Jul 21 '15 at 1:07
  • It isn't clear as day light in this context. And its not so easy to provide an explanation. I'll give it a try and may allah guide us all and make us people of understanding and knowledge. As I had mentioned a hadith, innamal aamalu bin niyyaat. No human on earth is safe from whims, but when he or she gets those it is their duty to brush those off. If you think of it over and over without thinking of it as a sin it becomes a desire which in turn leads to an action or stop you from doing another action (being with your wife, giving the haqq of the wife) that is better (rewarding) for you. – Salman Syed Jul 22 '15 at 13:04
  • I don't disagree with you, let me quote myself "That being said, it is better to refrain from such thoughts, because the more you think about it, the higher probability that one day you will act upon it.", the difference is, you want people to "perceive" it as a sin, when it is not a sin, if it was, then the messenger (pbuh) wouldn't have said that "if he has intended a bad deed and has not done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as a full good deed,". This means you get reward for not acting upon your bad thoughts and intentions. – Allah knows best Jul 23 '15 at 5:57
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It is quite barbaric to think bi-sexuality has something to do with your thoughts. There are people that born bi-sexual - period. There are many resources you can find that prove this scientifically. I am sure in our society today that there are bisexuals don't want to be that, because of social pressure, but no matter what they do they will always remain that way.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biology_and_sexual_orientation

Your attraction to someone isn't the same as a lust for someone. Lust is what is being referred to in both the Bible and the Qur'an. The people in the story of Lot, were so wicked that they would try to sodomize 2 Angels. These 2 young men were guests, yet the lustful men could not contain themselves, hence that they were offered the daughters. We are talking about rape here, and no matter what gender you are - it is plain wrong and evil that a person has lust so strong that they cannot control their actions.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lot_in_Islam

Having fantasies about being with a guy/girl is different than just knowing that you're attracted to a specific gender. There are kids that just know. However, I would say that Allah made us for a divine purpose, and wrote the Qur'an to show us the right way to live, so that we can get his blessings. Allah knows our nature, as he is all knowing, but it is the fear of Allah that makes us walk the straight path.

There is beauty in a relationship with both a man and woman. That to me is a blessing from God. The fact that you have children, which in turn builds a community. That reality doesn't exist in a homosexual relationships. When you think about prearrange marriages, here you have 2 people that may not like each other at first, but they must learn to love each other. I think for someone that is homosexual the same applies, they may be attracted to another gender, but it is their job to fulfill Allah's will. Some people will be tried harder than others, but again that is up to Allah. There are people out there that will knowingly disobey God, and they will only have to answer to him when the time comes.

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There is nothing wrong with being a gay/bi Muslim and having such thoughts in your mind as long as you don't act on them. As a matter of fact, a gay/bi Muslim who does not act upon his feelings for the sake of Allah will get more rewards than a non Gay/bi Muslim. The prophet mentioned in Many hadiths similar to these, this:

"إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَتَبَ الْحَسَنَاتِ وَالسَّيِّئَاتِ، ثُمَّ بَيَّنَ ذَلِكَ: فَمَنْ هَمَّ بِحَسَنَةٍ فَلَمْ يَعْمَلْهَا، كَتَبَهَا اللَّهُ لَهُ عِنْدَهُ حَسَنَةً كَامِلَةً، فَإِنْ هُوَ هَمَّ بِهَا فَعَمِلَهَا، كَتَبَهَا اللَّهُ لَهُ عِنْدَهُ عَشْرَ حَسَنَاتٍ، إِلَى سَبْعِمِائَةِ ضِعْفٍ، إِلَى أَضْعَافٍ كَثِيرَةٍ، وَمَنْ هَمَّ بِسَيِّئَةٍ فَلَمْ يَعْمَلْهَا، كَتَبَهَا اللَّهُ لَهُ عِنْدَهُ حَسَنَةً كَامِلَةً، فَإِنْ هُوَ هَمَّ بِهَا فَعَمِلَهَا، كَتَبَهَا اللَّهُ سَيِّئَةً وَاحِدَةً".

Allah has written down the good deeds and the bad ones. Then He explained it [by saying that] he who has intended a good deed and has not done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as a full good deed, but if he has intended it and has done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as from ten good deeds to seven hundred times, or many times over. But if he has intended a bad deed and has not done it, Allah writes it down with Himself as a full good deed, but if he has intended it and has done it, Allah writes it down as one bad deed. It was related by al-Bukhari and Muslim.

The same goes for people who are Kleptomania or (list any disease here) that do not act upon those feelings.This is a test from Allah to see how much you obey him, each one of us will have different level of testing, some people will have certain DNA to make them like things that are not Halal and them restricting themselves.

An undisputed number of studies have shown that being gay is part of your DNA. I am not sure about bisexual but that might also be the case. A study which takes the fact that identical twins are born with the same DNA and one being gay and the other isn't as a scientific proof that its not in the DNA. However, this is because of the lack of knowledge on how DNA works. Environment and actions you take effects your DNA which is why we see some of those identical twins have cancer while the others don't (for example).

This is called epigenetics, the way it works is explained here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kp1bZEUgqVI

I will also link you to some good answers answered by smart scholars (this was just the first page of youtube for me):

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    Beg you a pardon: "There is nothing wrong with being bisexual or gay in Islam or having such thoughts in your mind". Seriously? – user263210 Jul 19 '15 at 9:52
  • @user263210 As long as you don't act upon those feelings it should be fine. I have updated my post to reflect other things like Kleptomania. Thinking about killing someone for example (worse than being gay) is not the same as actually killing them. – user12537 Jul 19 '15 at 15:38
  • Can I say that being a non-believer in thoughts is not wrong but acting like one is wrong? @TruthSeeker, nothing here to get angry. I think American is trying to prove some thing. We are not yet clear about what he wants to say. Therefore I am asking him... – user263210 Jul 19 '15 at 16:37
  • @user263210 That is exactly what the Hadith I posted reflects upon. You can have thoughts/doubts about doing evil (even disbelieving), however, if you don't act upon them you get a good deed. – user12537 Jul 19 '15 at 17:14
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    There are people who cannot refrain from bad thoughts, they find it extremely difficult, or at times impossible, there are many mental illnesses that produce a cycle of bad thoughts and intentions, which is exactly why "patience" is highlighted in the Quran as a key to success, but it is not just patience, al Baqarah "WastaAAeenoo bissabriwassalati", "And seek help in patience and As-Salat (the prayer)". Surah al nas, "Qul aAAoothu birabbi annas", ""I seek refuge with (Allah) the Lord of mankind,"... "Min sharri alwaswasi alkhannas", "From the evil of the sneaking whisperer,". – Allah knows best Jul 23 '15 at 6:19
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I think that nothing is bad ..it's our thinking that makes anything bad...change yourself and develop...I don't think homosexuality or bisexulIty is a sin ...I totally support it ....there is nothing wrong in it ..look at the developed and high-fiii countries ....if they thought like this ..they would not have been developed ...time has changed ....Our first motive should be the development of our country ...no matters whatever happens ...ok ...think of 40%homogeneous population ...(lesbian,gay ,bisexual ,)and 60% of heterosexual .....what the outcome is that 40% of population is not producing offsprings ..(unless there is bisexuality of boy and a girl.)..and the other 50 or 60% of the population is producing babies...now what u get is ...population is being decreased ..and that way our country will get rid of overpopulation ....relating to higher food supplies ...and less consumption by us ...and that relating to reducing poverty and developing economy .......So come out of narrow thinking and build a modern and developed nation ..And is that not a sin when a girl is openly raped ,molested ,and disfamed.....it will also reduce the problem of eve-teasing and girls will feel secure with boys ....Most importantly ,bisexuality is not the major aspect which may disfame any religion ...ohh no one is here who completely follows the religion...even not me....this is not a sin ...and Nothing happens under the dis allowence of god ...so ...THInk different

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