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I have been married for two years, prior to that my husband and I have been together for 4 years. We have a two year old son. My husband smokes dagga constantly and even in the house while our son is there.

He has been addicted to cocaine and he lost his job (which is an Islamic relieve company) because he stole a lot of money for drugs. His work called me and said he needs to pay the money or they will lay charges. I still stayed, but he acts as if he does not need me, and that I am wrong for nagging him. I nearly get involved in his kind of world but I pulled away.

A few days ago I left because I couldn't handle the fighting in front of my son. I am staying by my mums house. I'm hurt as this is not the man I used to love. He acts as if his ok and hasn't even tried to mend things. His mother says he is right.

Have I done the right thing according Islam?

Can I ask for talaq even though its most frowned upon

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Peace be upon you.

If this is a case, divorce isn't bad at all.

I suggest you take one of the large Istikharas (NOT with the Rosary, as those are for small things) you can find here.

Allah shall guide you to the right place.


Personal opinion:

Yes. He is dangerous and could lead to your son being like him. He has done many things against Islam such as hitting you, going on drugs, etc. He could lead to your son going against Islam and turning on like him, and could lead something as more dangerous, such as actually going crazy and KILLING someone (it happened before). Note: this is solely my opinion. Just because I said this, don't do it until you think throughly.

I suggest you do as the Istikhara says.

  • I didn't know Istikharas came in sizes! what do you mean by that? Are you just making stuff up? – Aboudi Aug 26 '16 at 2:36
  • @Aboudi more important istikharas tend to not be taken by a rosary. I'm not making stuff up, this is how it is according to my leader. – Ab_ Aug 26 '16 at 12:45
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May peace be upon u sister , divorce isnt the only option left yet perhaps you can have a meeting with him along with his family members and yours and a sheikh and try to sort it out with talking .. I would not tell you to take divorce or to not to, everything happens by the will of Allah (swt) ive seen such cases often some people do leave their bad habits the alcoholics , drugholic when they get married , a good loving spouse do changes some of the people just by staying with them takin care of him but sometimes they get worse .. I advice you sister if you can save the pure relation of yours nothing else is greater than that .. May Allah swt guide you and your husband to the straight path and give him tawfeeq ameen ya rab and bless you in this world and the akhirah ..

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    Slmz Najeeb. shukran . I have tried before by approaching his big brother, and they spoke to us, but he still smoked in the house while my son was around, he lies so I end up not trusting him and accusing him. I have tried talking to his parents but his mum refuses to accept what I say and stands by her son. which leave me in desolation because how do I get help to him if he refuses to see he has a problem. he thinks its ok, and he doesn't think he is addicted however him being on drugs made him steal and get fired. I make dua to give me strength. but I don't know when he will realize this. – samarah Jul 9 '15 at 7:40

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