I read Qur'an that it is translated in English. I never forgot that if a person who does bad, then good then bad then good then bad again, Allah will not forgive him/her.
I am a Muslim, and I respect Allah. I always worship Him. I pray 5 times a day. I am currently reading Qur'an even I do not understand original Arabic. I have problems with my life. I am the oldest sister of siblings. Schools did not let me to be in because I am deaf. They only allowed my sisters to be in because they can hear. 3 years later, I finally enrolled schools. My sisters graduated when they were about 17 years old except me. I finished when I was 22-23 years old (I wish I was 18 years old to graduate). I highly hoped that I would drive first but my sisters did first. They promised me to drive first, but I found out that they did first. I was furious of them. I ignored them; I sat back in front of her in her car. I saw she was using phone while driving, I took photos of them and I will show to my family. But my parents are on trip, so I showed to my uncle. Today, I realized I was impatient backbit, and jealous. I already know I was about to be patient next time but I accidentally ended up being impatient again. So many times. I repeat, remember Qur'an said Allah does not forgive if someone does good then bad for many times. Now, I feel too bad that I committed sins during the Ramadan. I feel like my sins cannot be removed during the Ramadan. I do not feel closer to Allah, just little bit. I have a feeling that He does not forgive me. I do not want to say sorry what I have done to my family. I am worried about what I have done. Should I say sorry to them so will Allah forgive me? Will He remove my sins? Will I not go to hell? If answer, please explain something or in Qur'an only, not hadith. I am worried so much. I am depressed little.