Can a son use his own salary without his father's permission?

Question

I am eager to know, can a son use his own salary without his father's permission.

Does the father, who is head of the house, has the right to stop his son from spending the money the way he wants to.

Answer 1

My answer might be a little long, but I beg you to read..

Kindness to parents with absolutely NO resentment

And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. (Quran 17:23)

The word used in this verse is "uffin" أُفٍّ , which not only means resentment, rather just an expression of resentment.

Taking care of parents

And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.

But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.

(Quran 31:14-15)

The above verse makes it compulsory to take care of parents. By "taking care" it would not only mean material comforts but.... IT WOULD ALSO MEAN TAKE CARE OF THEIR FEELINGS.

HOWEVER, the above verse makes an EXCEPTION about obedience to parents. We can only disobey our parents when they tell you something that is against Islam.

In your case...

I completely agree that you have full right over your money and wealth (and may Allah grant you more wealth) BUT if your father tells you to spend somewhere OR not to spend somewhere, then you have to follow him unless it is against Islam.

The very fact that you do not wish to seek his permission is that you know he would not approve of it; so re-think where you are going to spend your money.

Finally, when there is a conflict of this nature, I often see the cause is that the children want freedom to spend but the parents want them to save. There is no right or wrong in these type of issues. But you would be in the wrong if you hurt your parents in anyway.

I would simply recommend take each spending issue one by one and try NOT to hurt your father in anyway. Try to convince him, just like you used to convince him for toys when you were a small child.

The best example of kindness to father from the Quran

In surah Maryam (ch 19) around verse 41-42 you will notice a conversation between Ibrahim(pbuh) and his father. In this conversation a mighty prophet of Allah, Ibrahim(pbuh), is pleading with his father, who was an idol worshiper.

BUT Ibrahim(pbuh) was soo kind to his father that he keeps on repeating "O my father" multiple times in just one conversation.

Nothing is more important than the blessings of parents. So use your money wisely and MAKE SURE YOU DONT HURT HIM in anyway!