Is it okay to be a Muslim and have a gay sex?

Question

I am not a Muslim myself, but I have a gay Muslim friend, he's 19. He came into my house once and asked for me to search online if it is okay to have gay sex and be a Muslim, since he was too embarrassed to ask any Sheikh.

He also tells me that he is very sexually active. He watched a lot of gay pornography and has sex with many Muslim and non-Muslim guys: this include orgies, threesomes, anal sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation, watersports.

My friend knows that this is a sin according to Islam, but he wants to know if it is okay to keep acting on his lifestyle and practicing Islam? Or he has to pick between both? In other words, can he stay in this lifestyle and remain a Muslim?

Answer 1

No. Allah does not like these sort of people. He has to repent and never do this again before its too late.

Read the story of Loot,

“And (remember) Loot (Lot), when he said to his people: ‘Do you commit the worst sin such as none preceding you has committed in the ‘Aalameen (mankind and jinn)?

Verily, you practise your lusts on men instead of women. Nay, but you are a people transgressing beyond bounds (by committing great sins)’”

[al-A’raaf 7:80-81] 

“Verily, We sent against them a violent storm of stones (which destroyed them all), except the family of Loot (Lot), them We saved in the last hour of the night”

Read here more, please search before you ask

Answer 2

The underlying theme of the question was the apple of discord over which the first civil war erupted in early Islamic society, i.e. the relation between action/works (Amal) and faith (Imaan). Kharjites took the extreme position of excommunicating (Takfir) a sinner from Muslim-hood. The antithesis came in the form of Murjites who took the opposite position deferring judgement - therefore no excommunication in this world, no matter what. Mutazilites came after and took an in-between position that a sinner is neither a believer nor a disbeliever - rather somewhere in the middle (Fasiq). The Sunnites differ internally on whether faith increases or decreases with sins, but a sinner remains a believer. I'm not fully aware of Shiite positions; to the best of my knowledge their position is similar to that of the Mutazila. In short, except for the extreme Khawarij, Ummah has not adopted a doctrine of excommunication of grave sinners.

A related but entirely different case is that of a sinner who actually believe that the sin is virtue, for example, one who believes that homosexuality is Halaal (permissible). The majority position is that such a person is a disbeliever. However, its not always an easy affair simply because there is diversity and often times the normalcy of Halaal and Haraam is disputed across different schools of thought. As an example, the question of whether shaving the beard is Haraam or not.

The bottom line is that even if someone is a repeat offender, there is no external or internal reason for them to leave the faith simply because of that. It does put one in a precarious position of conflicting interests but there is always the grace and mercy of the Lord. Even an iota of faith is better than no faith at all. You need just one fine moment of sincere repentance, though do keep in mind that time here on Earth is depleting fast and it's definitely not well if it doesn't end well.

I'll finish off with a couple personal experiences. A colleague of mine was once in open defiance professing the idea: "youth is no time for righteousness, i'll repent when I'm old enough." In my myopic view his was a dangerous stance, but it took just a few years for his complete u-turn. A friend was a devout Muslim, became atheist and today he is steadily making his way back. I'm but forced to believe in the Christian maxim: "The Lord works in mysterious ways."

Answer 3

If you don't live as you believe, then eventually you believe as you live.

Homosexuality is forbidden in Islam. No one is sinless, yes; but your friend have already developed an idea that he will be forgiven. Anyone, even prophets can't guarantee such a thing. If there will be a forgiving, it will come after a repentance. Repentance doesn't mean just saying the words, making forgive past sins and going on with the same kind of actions. It requires real remorse and struggle for not to do it again.

Allah orders something, your friend say "I am a Muslim" which means "I am going to live according to Allah's orders", then he acts against it and claims that Allah is going to forgive him anyway. Excuse me, but this is seeing Allah as an idiot. In this kind of thought, there is no need to follow Allah's orders. We can kill innocents, we can take their properties, we can steal etc, Allah will forgive anyway.

Whoever says that "I am Muslim", then we have to accept that he is Muslim. This is because we can't know what his heart really carries. A man may not be a Muslim even if he claims. He may say a lie, or he may not aware of it. Yet Allah knows who is Muslim and who is not. Allah is the only authority to decide who will be forgiven and who won't be. Also Allah is the one decides who is going to Heaven and who is going to Hell.

I mean we can't just decide whether a man calling himself Muslim is really a Muslim or not. But there is a clear contradiction here. There is a logical fallacy. I advise your friend to get rid of false assumptions and to decide what he will do according to that.

Answer 4

Can someone not pray and be a muslim ? Can someone not fast and be a muslim ? Can someone kill and still be a muslim ? (etc.)

Yes. Sinner, maybe, but Muslim nonetheless. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Excommunication is a christian concept, there is no such thing as a human taking another human out of the Milla or Umma in Islam.

Answer 5

"Lord make me chaste,but not yet" St Augustine. As long as your gay friend holds sexual promiscuity as a sin in his heart,he is a Muslim.However the moment he starts thinking having gay sex is alright ,he is taking dictates either from sources outside religion or submitting to his own desires,either way he is not acting within the fold of Islam.