I am an Algerian Muslim man who is living in England. I want to get married to a Somali Muslim woman who has a kid. When she was young she used to have a bad relationship with her dad. When her mom died the relationship worsened and at the age of 17 she moved to her aunty's house (who she calls mom). When she reached 19 she wanted to get married to a man who was Somali but her parents didn't allow it. Then she got pregnant without marrying the man. Since then there has been no relationship whatsoever and she has been living alone with her child. No one was helping her in whatsoever way except for her uncle who is a really nice guy (mashallah).

Now we want to get married but her father and older brother refuse just because I am not Somali (it seems). And her dad has no knowledge about Islam so even if I talk to him about this religiously he wouldn't understand. My question is will he still be her waliy, and what should I do if he refuses again?


2 Answers 2


This might be a bit too late but her uncle can be her wali because she's not exactly under the care of her dad anymore but rather her uncle. Ask your local Imam to be sure though.


You can't change it. You can only try to convince him you're a good person. The father is still the man of the house and he will decide. Marrying someone without permission is not allowed and is not something to think of. Marrying his daughter to someone she does not like is also not allowed. So maybe you could convince him with telling him that if his daughter wants you and finding an other husband for her is going to be difficult It may result into an acceptance of the father.

Other than that I advice you to move on.

Because Allah probably has other plans for you.

  • I am not sure about this. Her biological father has abandoned her, does not care for her and is not knowledgeable about Islam. The only figure that's acting as the role of the father is the uncle. Surely, the uncle can have some say in it.
    – user921
    Commented May 24, 2015 at 19:52
  • "The father ... will decide. Marrying someone without permission is not allowed" - this not right, because there is hadith which say: The matron has more right to herself than her Wali ... sunnah.com/tirmidhi/11/29
    – qdinar
    Commented Jan 9, 2017 at 7:18

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