Turning my (illicite?) civil union into marriage

Question

I'm a Muslim immigrant who went to France for a better life. Well, year after year, I found myself throwing away my religion (except Ramadan): no more praying, eating non-halal food, having girlfriends, etc.

I'm not a bad boy though: no partying, a home-to-work/work-to-home guy, etc.

As a marriage would be difficult as my whole family isn't in the area (France), we opted for official civil union to officialize my relationship with my partner. Then, I did have my daughter.

Lately, in Ramadan, I felt bad about the whole situation : didn't marry the wife I love (civil union), got a child out of this (illicite?) relationship, etc.

The question is simple:

Are the thing still fixable? How can I repair the whole situation?

PS: please, I know I (may be) did it wrong, but I only need a new and clean departure (if it's possible).

Answer 1

Repentance in Islam is a key concept, it's mentioned in many versus in Quran

Except for those who repent, believe and do righteous work. For them Allah will replace their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful. [Quran 25:70]

A well-known Scholar, Salman Al-Ouda talking about Tawba "Repentance" concept in Islam, http://www.youtube.com/watch (In Arabic)

So indeed, things are always fixable.

Moving to how you can solve the whole situation, Through my experience I found dividing the problem into smaller ones then prioritize them helping better than take them all on my shoulders

1- You would like to start with major stuff - e.g. praying - while doing some research about minor things so you can better decide what to do

2- About your marriage, as already mentioned in answers here, if your current partner is Muslim, Christian or Jew things will be fine, since i'm not fully aware about civil union contracts in France I can't tell exactly what you should do, please note that Islamic Marriage has set of prerequisites to confirm that the relationship is correct and valid.

This case might be related to yours:

• www.islamawareness.net/Marriage

3- About your daughter, if the copulation process was done while you and your partner had that civil union you should be fine, I tried to google that and I found that scholars usually distinguish between the child of "Zina" & the child of invalid contract.

Source (Arabic): www.dar-alifta.org

4- Find Islamic figures and preachers you would like to listen from, keep yourself surrounded with good Muslims, since you love your wife you can do it together, help each other, remember that your partner has huge impact on your life, hence she needs to understand everything.

I strongly advice you to visit a local Islamic organization you trust.

Answer 2

You'd better perform some points such as:

• come back to your country (if that is an Islamic country), Since on the whole, a bad environment naturally would have a negative effect on human, but the environment of an Islamic state would be more positive and naturally seeing nicer people would have more positive effect on you, even I could be more worth of while even if your finicial position if your main Islamic country be worse than France, Since you probably would miss your religiousness in such as position. In other word, it could be Wajib for you if you are throwing away your religion.

• Pay attention that eating non-halal foods would have a negative effect on human, hence perhaps we can consider it as a reason which has misled you...therefore you ought to ignore it right now, otherwise regularly Allah will take the Barakah(blessing) from your life and as a result Satan will mislead you more...

• As soon as possible, attempt to get married with a good religious woman who could have much Islamic and positive effect on your practices. Of course don't forget that your marriage ought to be Islamic, not..

• Try to increase your relation to God, then Allah would help you more than before. e.g. say your prayers constantly. likewise for instance if you leave drinking alcohols (if you leave it because of God), then as a rule of God, Allah would help you more than before.

• Eventually you'd better to repent for your practices and strive to leave your negative practices and indeed start a new strong relationship to Allah.

Answer 3

The first step is to repent sincerely to Allah and begin doing the things that are must to do according to Islam and stop doing the things considered haram in our religion. According to Islam, only nikah makes one mahram to his/her spouse and only that makes a legal Islamic relationship. Thus, you should get a nikah done to whoever you are serious in wanting to spend the rest of your life with and being loyal to only one partner is important in Islam.

I hope someone will tell you about your responsibilities (if any) to your child born out of marriage.