Lets imagine that a man's wife had upset him a great deal day in day out over many years (to the extent that it is considered emotional abuse where he needs counselling to recover).
To show his wife that he is not happy with her behavior (after verbally explaining it to her), is that man allowed to deny his wife sexually, or must he continue to satisfy his wife even though she continues to upset him?
It is allowed. Allah says:
Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand. [4:34]
Please note that the third part, where it says strike them, all scholars agree that it should be like the prophet did, where he would jokingly hit them with a Miswak, nothing that should hurt or leave a mark.
As you can see the second part clearly gives a husband the right to forsake sex with the wife until they are obedient.
Tafseer of Ayah in Arabic: http://library.islamweb.net/newlibrary/display_book.php?flag=1&bk_no=65&ID=475
Allah (swt) says, first let them know that you're upset, if they don't listen then refuse to fulfill their desires, if again they don't listen, then as a last resort strike them (to signify that this is the last straw). If all three does not change your wife's behavior, then you're advised to discuss divorce, and then divorce as a last option.
...But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
Once again, yes, you've every right to refuse.
In order to answer your question, you have to understand the consequences of denying your wifes needs. As you mentioned that you tried to verbally explain to her that you are upset, you need to think twice about the outcomes of denying her needs as a husband.
Using sexual rejection as a form of punishment to your wife can contain grave consequences such as a marriage break up and possibly of her using other forms and means to fulfil her needs, therefore may lead to adultery.
Think about it, if she has upset you, won't fulfilling her needs bring you closer together?
Therefore, to avoid a break up in marriage, both parties must satisfy each other needs
To summarise it all, no you can not deny your wifes requests
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