How to positively and politely avoid eye contact with the opposite sex in non-Muslim societies?

Question

I live in Jordan (Arabic and Muslim country) and I'm traveling to USA. There's one issue to me that people there expects eye contact during conversation, which is something I don't do - as part of lowering my gaze Fatwah - with non-Maharim females, ehlhamduLillah.

Most of the females I worked with them find it - unfortunately - weird and offending to do so, especially at the first time. However this is not an issue to me since they are Muslim and they're aware of Allah's orders and their benefits to our current and Akhrah life.

I'm going to a business conference, and the team I'm going to meet is a mixed. Since I'm totally new to purely non-Muslim cultures I'm not sure how to handle this situation. Should I just continue what I do (by not looking at them at all)? Do I have to inform them by email, so they at least know why I'm doing this?

I know at least two things 1) Allah said that non-Muslims won't be pleased about Islam:

Chapter Name:Al-Baqra Verse No:120

وَلَن تَرْضَى عَنكَ الْيَهُودُ وَلاَ النَّصَارَى حَتَّى تَتَّبِعَ مِلَّتَهُمْ قُلْ إِنَّ هُدَى اللّهِ هُوَ الْهُدَى وَلَئِنِ اتَّبَعْتَ أَهْوَاءهُم بَعْدَ الَّذِي جَاءكَ مِنَ الْعِلْمِ مَا لَكَ مِنَ اللّهِ مِن وَلِيٍّ وَلاَ نَصِيرٍ

2:120 Khan:

Never will the Jews nor the Christians be pleased with you (O Muhammad Peace be upon him ) till you follow their religion. Say: "Verily, the Guidance of Allah (i.e. Islamic Monotheism) that is the (only) Guidance. And if you (O Muhammad Peace be upon him ) were to follow their (Jews and Christians) desires after what you have received of Knowledge (i.e. the Qur'an), then you would have against Allah neither any Wali (protector or guardian) nor any helper.

And 2) Islam is getting stranger and stranger:

It is narrated on the authority of Abu Huraira that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Islam initiated as something strange, and it would revert to its (old position) of being strange. so good tidings for the stranger.

حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ عَبَّادٍ، وَابْنُ أَبِي عُمَرَ، جَمِيعًا عَنْ مَرْوَانَ الْفَزَارِيِّ، قَالَ ابْنُ عَبَّادٍ حَدَّثَنَا مَرْوَانُ، عَنْ يَزِيدَ، - يَعْنِي ابْنَ كَيْسَانَ - عَنْ أَبِي حَازِمٍ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ "‏ بَدَأَ الإِسْلاَمُ غَرِيبًا وَسَيَعُودُ كَمَا بَدَأَ غَرِيبًا فَطُوبَى لِلْغُرَبَاءِ ‏"‏ ‏

I would like to hear from your real life experience and may Allah bless you :),

I'm adding some context to my case: I'm 24 years old and I'm married.

Answer 1

All praises is indeed due to Allah SWT blessing and salutations upon Muhammad (PBUH) and all his companions, his family members and his entire household.

1. You have to avoid not only eye contact but you have to lower your gaze.

   Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do. (24:30)

2. For Russian Muslims it is a daily problem. Just lower your gaze. In fact 95% of women will ask you nothing. But if they will ask it is a great opportunity for dawah! Answer them in a politely manner tell them that in Islam we respect women and we respect their families and so on.

3. Story about dawah through lowering gaze by Mufti Ismail Menk.

Answer 2

You should strive to notice and do some items such as:

Qaz al Basar (looking toward to earth (or actually lower your looking.) In fact try not to stare (to faces or eyes of non-Mahram) when you are talking to)

Of course as you mentioned, you can politely avoid eye contact with them (non-Mahram) and even perhaps your polite behaviour would make somepositive effect on them..

you inquired: Should I just continue what I do (by not looking at them at all)?

The answer is yeah, why not. It is completely a fantastic and positive practice. In truth, that's what Allah asks us.

In regard to you last question that inquired

"Do I have to inform them by email, so they at least know why I'm doing this?"

The reply is yeah again. It could be a very nice way for you to have communication via e-mail instead of being face-to-face as far as possible. your practice is really admirable.

Paying attention to the verse below could be profitable for us to remind us that we ought to be careful in our looking..

قُل لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَغُضُّوا مِنْ أَبْصَارِهِمْ وَيَحْفَظُوا فُرُوجَهُمْ ۚ ذَٰلِكَ أَزْكَىٰ لَهُمْ ۗ إِنَّ اللَّـهَ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا يَصْنَعُونَ ٣٠

Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do. (30)

(an-Nur : 30)

With respect to a part of your question which you asked if you shall illustrate them why I'm doing this, you'd better not to explain if you cannot express your words by a logical explanation (to persuade them), otherwise it could be profitable for them to know why you do not look at them directly.

Of course we can notice the matter above from the opposite angle too. in truth, I can say that this is not necessary or Wajib for you to inform them by e-mail that why you do that (why you do not look at them while you are talking to), and your canonical duty (solely) is that you do not look at non-Mahram.( not to illustrate why I do not look at you).

Source:

http://rasekhoon.net/article/show/649625/