Lying to get married, grounds for divorce, or will it reduce barakh in the marriage?

Question

My husband and his family deceived me on many levels before we got married. Before I married him he had a severe case of cancer, which reached his bones and organs. It was also his understanding that he possibly could not procure children. I, however, did get pregnant and have children with him. He lied to me about the many symptoms and scars he had, but then told me later on that he had cancer after we were married, because he started to feel ill. We have been married for several years, his health is always troubling him, and I have to bear the burden with him. We don't have a normal marital relationship and it is difficult for him to satisfy me in general. I have been suffering for years, but am too ashamed to leave him and feel a sense of duty to him and my children.

I am not happy and I am afraid to fall into sin because I feel cheated, as well as unhappy in general for many reasons. Another point I would like to make is that some of the verbal (not in marriage contract) conditions that were agreed upon, like me completing my education, were not fulfilled even though we have the time and money. Should I stay patient or should I put myself at ease? Are these conditions for a divorce or do these things nullify the marriage in the first place. I feel other than our children, there is no baraka (blessing) in our marriage.

Answer 1

You ought to notice that there are some rights for the wives who can apply for the divorce. One of those rights is related to the diseases of the husbands. According to the mentioned item, in case that the husband has an awful disease that is not treatable as much that could be considered as a disease which could be dangerous for the health of the wife… Or even there is another right for the wife to request for the divorce in case that her husband has hidden his disease…

For more complete info. I recommend you to read the following references, but on the whole I assume it could be better for you to bear the life due to your children and even your husband. Then in all probability (as a rule of Allah, by bearing..) Allah will help you and give you a large reward (thawab) for your devotion. Otherwise I reckon there could not be a warranty for you to have a better life by divorcing…, consequently you’d better to devote due to your children and husband. And Allah knows best. Do more research, afterwards make a logical decision. Good luck.

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Reference:

• aryalaw.com

Answer 2

Islam does not force women to keep suffering in an oppressive marriage. You will have to weigh benefits and losses and make a decision that works for you and that keeps you away from falling into sin.

Divorce (or staying in marriage) should not be based on raw emotions or temporary anger. You'll have to consider a lot of things such as adverse effects on kids, your own financial ability, remarriage etc., and most importantly how staying/leaving will impact your faith and duties to Allah. Weigh your options carefully. It might be a good idea to consult with your family and/or a wise neutral person.

Divorce is the most undesirable among halal things, but it did happen in the time of Prophet (pbuh) between his companion men and women and as you can see in the hadith below that the Prophet (pbuh) did not compel his female companion to keep her marriage against her wish even when her husband loved her so much.

Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 63, Number 206: Narrated Ibn 'Abbas:

Barira's husband was a slave called Mughith, as if I am seeing him now, going behind Barira and weeping with his tears flowing down his beard. The Prophet said to 'Abbas, "O 'Abbas ! are you not astonished at the love of Mughith for Barira and the hatred of Barira for Mughith?" The Prophet then said to Barira, "Why don't you return to him?" She said, "O Allah's Apostle! Do you order me to do so?" He said, "No, I only intercede for him." She said, "I am not in need of him."

http://www.usc.edu/org/cmje/religious-texts/hadith/bukhari

Sister my advice is to make dua for Allah to help you make the right decision, follow through proper channels following Allah's guidelines, and don't fall into sin.

And Allah knows best.