I got an alliance from Muslim family. I am engineer working in IT. As I got an alliance proposal whether I can see the Girl in-Personal in her house and talk to her. So, that I can understand her character before marriage. whether this is Halal way? or is there any Islamic way of seeing a girl before for marriage acceptance ?

Please help on this.

  • Highly recommended to do so and it is not haram or against islam, divorce is one of the most things to avoid in islam (makruh), some culture will say no because of the arrogance of that culture, how will you know if she is a suitable partner if you haven't met her and gotten to know her she might be against what you think or vice-versa dont be in that situation – Aboudi Sep 5 '14 at 20:24
  • @ Murtaza, your edition was alright. unfortunately,wrongly, I rejected your edition, although you edition was good. (God bless you) – اللهم صل علی محمد و آل محمد Sep 6 '14 at 9:16

According to Islam (Shia view), on the whole, speaking intimately(for marriage) will be permissible if: Your intention is serious(real) for the marriage, (of course solely at the level of acquaintance and also without the intention of pleasure, if he does not fear that he perhaps falls into a sin with her). As a result, in the mentioned way, you can talk to her with observation of the mentioned items.

(I recommend you to see the source for further and more complete info. concerning the issue.)

According to Shia, actually in accordance with the fatwa or view of Ayatollah Khamenei (As a Marja al-Taqlid of Shia):

It could be permissible for the suitor (man) to see the woman whom intends (really) to marry provided that :

1: Its intention is not pleasure

2: Its intention is figuring out regarding her defects or beauty

3: The suitor considers that the girl won't reject him

4: There is no barrier for their marriage 1

According to the Fatwa(view) of Ayatollah Makarem Shirazi:

In which case the Suitor is able to see the face of woman, hands up to the wrists, hair and a part of her body (neck and upper part of the chest) [2]

1 - Khamenei, Sayyid Ali, Ajwebat al-Istefaat, question 525; Sistani, Sayyid ali, Minhaj al-Salehin, vol.2, Nikah (Marriage), issue No. 28; Bahjat, Muhammad Taqi, Resalah Tawzih al-Masail, issue No.1944; Makarem Shirazi, Naser, Ta’liqat Alaa al-Urwat al-Wuthqa, Nikah (Marriage), issue No, 26; Fazel Lankarani, Muhammad, Ta’liqat Alaa al-Urwat al-Wuthqa, Nikah (Marriage), issue No. 26.

[2] -Makarem Shirazi, Naser, Ta’liqat Alaa al-Urwat al-Wuthqa, Nikah (Marriage)…



Best way I prefer?

Marry her for short time (Sighah 3 to 6 month i prefer) live with her and then both sit and logically decide if you feel good marry her permanently.

(If she is worried about the sex and virginity and such situation you can mention in your Sighah that sex is the limit)

This is exactly like engagement. We do it in Iran. A halal relation to know each other usu it's less than a year.


What do you mean by in person? If you meant absolutely alone, then NO.

You can meet, talk and understand each other in someone's preferably guardian or elder's presence. There is nothing righteous that you can't do in presence of others, even if it is personal.

One more thing, when you both are togather and no one else, third will be shaitan.

I don't remember references but you can find through google.

  • IMO there are a lot of things that one should come clean about when meeting/talking with a perspective marriage partner. In our cultural setting with arranged marriages boy and the girls meet once or twice before they get married. It is especially necessary that both utilize this time to the utmost and be open about their flaws. In the presence of a Guardian, the atmosphere is not so open. – Tom Marvolo Riddle Dec 17 '15 at 13:38

Do you mean to tell me that this is a decision that you, an intelligent person, cannot make for yourself, without requiring a committee of opinions before contemplating it?

Maintain the young woman's modesty, and reputation by insuring that at all times her good name and reputation are not put in question by your choice of actions.


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