Islam Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for Muslims, experts in Islam, and those interested in learning more about Islam. It only takes a minute to sign up.
Sign up to join this community
I got an alliance from Muslim family. I am engineer working in IT. As I got an alliance proposal whether I can see the Girl in-Personal in her house and talk to her. So, that I can understand her character before marriage. whether this is Halal way? or is there any Islamic way of seeing a girl before for marriage acceptance ?
Please help on this.
According to Islam (Shia view), on the whole, speaking intimately(for marriage) will be permissible if: Your intention is serious(real) for the marriage, (of course solely at the level of acquaintance and also without the intention of pleasure, if he does not fear that he perhaps falls into a sin with her). As a result, in the mentioned way, you can talk to her with observation of the mentioned items.
(I recommend you to see the source for further and more complete info. concerning the issue.)
According to Shia, actually in accordance with the fatwa or view of Ayatollah Khamenei (As a Marja al-Taqlid of Shia):
It could be permissible for the suitor (man) to see the woman whom intends (really) to marry provided that :
1: Its intention is not pleasure
2: Its intention is figuring out regarding her defects or beauty
3: The suitor considers that the girl won't reject him
4: There is no barrier for their marriage 1
According to the Fatwa(view) of Ayatollah Makarem Shirazi:
In which case the Suitor is able to see the face of woman, hands up to the wrists, hair and a part of her body (neck and upper part of the chest) [2]
1 - Khamenei, Sayyid Ali, Ajwebat al-Istefaat, question 525; Sistani, Sayyid ali, Minhaj al-Salehin, vol.2, Nikah (Marriage), issue No. 28; Bahjat, Muhammad Taqi, Resalah Tawzih al-Masail, issue No.1944; Makarem Shirazi, Naser, Ta’liqat Alaa al-Urwat al-Wuthqa, Nikah (Marriage), issue No, 26; Fazel Lankarani, Muhammad, Ta’liqat Alaa al-Urwat al-Wuthqa, Nikah (Marriage), issue No. 26.
[2] -Makarem Shirazi, Naser, Ta’liqat Alaa al-Urwat al-Wuthqa, Nikah (Marriage)…
Source:
Best way I prefer?
Marry her for short time (Sighah 3 to 6 month i prefer) live with her and then both sit and logically decide if you feel good marry her permanently.
(If she is worried about the sex and virginity and such situation you can mention in your Sighah that sex is the limit)
This is exactly like engagement. We do it in Iran. A halal relation to know each other usu it's less than a year.
What do you mean by in person? If you meant absolutely alone, then NO.
You can meet, talk and understand each other in someone's preferably guardian or elder's presence. There is nothing righteous that you can't do in presence of others, even if it is personal.
One more thing, when you both are togather and no one else, third will be shaitan.
I don't remember references but you can find through google.
Do you mean to tell me that this is a decision that you, an intelligent person, cannot make for yourself, without requiring a committee of opinions before contemplating it?
Maintain the young woman's modesty, and reputation by insuring that at all times her good name and reputation are not put in question by your choice of actions.
