My husband and I were watching TV where a man divorced his wife by saying "I divorce you" 3 times. My husband turned and said to me, referring to the man ' he said I divorce you, I divorce you’.

Can you please clarify for me what this means for our marriage?

  • 1
    If your husband said,"He said I divorce you". 3 times then you need to think or ask to someone expert as your husband is saying He said. Otherwise see @muslim1 – Ali786 Jul 31 '14 at 12:03
  • 2
    Was he joking or he was in serious tone and mood? He should have a better sense of humor anyway. Not everything in life is a joke. – Farhan Jul 31 '14 at 13:57
  • he, your husband, said, that the man said, that he, your husband, divorced you? – qdinar Sep 29 '16 at 16:33
  • see my answer about triple divorce: islam.stackexchange.com/a/32792 . – qdinar Sep 29 '16 at 16:34

No.

{لاَّ يُؤَاخِذُكُمُ اللّهُ بِاللَّغْوِ فِيَ أَيْمَانِكُمْ وَلَكِن يُؤَاخِذُكُم بِمَا كَسَبَتْ قُلُوبُكُمْ وَاللّهُ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌ} http://quran.ksu.edu.sa/tafseer/katheer/sura2-aya225.html

As a reference, even Allah don't take us for real when we are not serious. Then how about jokes?!

  • 2
    Consider editing your answer, adding translation to English and explaining it more. And the hadith "innama al'amalo binyyat" might be used well in your answer. – Kilise Sep 29 '16 at 15:17

i have written 2 comments to your question, and i can answer to heading version of it, i.e. to

If a husband says 'talaq' to his wife jokingly, does 'talaq' happen? :

if he divorces (i.e. says divorce process initiation phrase) in joke, it is accounted. proofs:

http://sunnah.com/tirmidhi/13/10 :

Abu Hurairah narrated that: The Messenger of Allah said: "Three are serious when they are serious, and serious when they are in jest: Marriage, divorce, and return."

http://sunnah.com/urn/411830 :

Yahya related to me from Malik from Yahya ibn Said that Said ibn al-Musayyab said, "There are three things in which there is no jest: marriage, divorce, and setting free."

http://sunnah.com/urn/1263580 :

It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that: the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "There are three matters in which seriousness is serious and joking is serious: marriage, divorce and taking back (one's wife). "

.

but as i see in your case he has not said that he divorces you, but he said that the film character said to his wife that he divorces her.

see my answer about triple divorce: https://islam.stackexchange.com/a/32792 , and you can see there, that even if he divorces you three or even more times at once, he can take you back before iddah is passed, and even one divorce is not counted, if he takes you back before iddah is passed.

I really liked some other person's view regarding divorce in joke he is also very knowledgeable person regarding Islamic thing. As scholar quote Hadith:

“There are three matters in which seriousness is serious and joking is serious: marriage, divorce and taking back (one’s wife).” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2194; al-Tirmidhi, 1184; Ibn Maajah, 2039.

(source Islam Q&A)

He says in this matter although such words should not be used in joke but while making decision whole situation should be seen like if wife knows he is joking with her and no serious message delivered to wife then it counts nothing. Mere utterance of phrase of divorce should not be counted basis for making decision. In my view knowledge of man should also seen who uttered phrase. I just shared it. Allah knows the best.

By majority of scholars, it would mean you are divorced for the word I divorce you cannot be utter even in joke. If said so, it counts as one count of divorce (three counts make it irrevocable). Since he has said it three times, that means the divorce is done irrevocably.

While there are many websites which highlights this issues (and are conflicting in some ways), this particular link makes a little bit better sense to me.

It essentially said, if you utter these words I divorce you in joke, it counts as divorce. But anything else uttered in joke does not count as divorce, e.g 'I am leaving your for ever' will not count as divorce.

This particular link address another such question where you text message wife and say I divorce you. It says it does NOT count as divorce unless that is his intention. That most likely means he has to confront her and acknowledge that yes he intended it which would count as divorce. An other similar case, if a husband write on paper and give it to wife which says she is divorced, it also does not count as divorce unless he has some kind of verbal acknowledge. The matter is obviously a little confusing.

This matter is actually more complicated if you follow all the Hadith. There are Ahadith which says even single utterance of divorce count as three but in present day of Islam, we don't really follow. I would simply refrain from uttering any such words even in joke or anger on in any case. To highlight the complexity of divorce matter, I would cite a case in India, where the husband divorced his wife in dream and there were confusion if she was divorced or not. She was obviously not divorced in that case.


Ignorance

A point worth noting is if someone commits a sin out of ignorance, that is not counted as sin as such. For example, if you are fasting but do not know the proper ruling and thus do not observe all the rulings properly, that does not count as sin as it is because you were never told and you cannot be made accountable for it. In such case if the husband fall in this category where he did not know an irrevocable divorce can take place in such case, he should get a chance to be with his wife. After all this was not his intentions.


My Reform Take

I am of the view that the right of verbal divorce should be taken from husband and should be managed by legal court. That way there will be no confusion in divorce and everything will be fully intentional and recorded. I know verbal divorce (by intention) is a huge problem in many countries where the husband issues divorce and then retreats because he simply want to have sex and his divorced wife is the only option. That is a far bigger sin. There were always reforms in Islam. This reform is due also.

  • Your take on the issue is very sensible. Once a reform is introduced into place that a divorce has to be well documented before it actually happens, it would not only make it intentional and fully thought out decision but it would also root out the mindset and practice where husband attempts to give all three divorces in one sitting. If a couple wants to leave each other and go on marrying someone else, only a single divorce is sufficient. – Tom Marvolo Riddle Dec 17 '15 at 13:26
  • " There are Ahadith which says even single utterance of divorce count as three" - really?! – qdinar Sep 29 '16 at 16:30

I like some scholar view very much regarding this if both husband and wife knows they are joking with each other then it should not count as divorce.Mere utterance of word talaq or divorce phrase is nothing. Other than this I recommend everyone to listen to javed Ahmad ghamidi each and every lecture regarding the issue of divorce. He has very sensible views on this.he clearly states what are conditions told by Islam on divorce. He says if divorce is given by fulfilling all conditions then it become valid and if conditions are not fulfilled it can be imposed by Islamic court or authorities but it does not become valid on its own. It is not necessary if we do not agree on someone views on one issue then we should disagree with all his views. Islam asks us to decide things with wisdom. I am not scholar I just wrote wt I think. Moreover divorce decisions and other fiqh decisions should not be made in general rather it can only be made depending upon situation in which person's knowledge and each and everything should be kept in mind. And Allah knows the best Thanks

In above situation if husband has said "he said i divorce you". I don't think so it has any effect on your marriage or nikah. If he just told you what actor said in TV to his wife.he did not deivered any message of divorce to you. i dont think you even need to ask anything.there is no effect on your nikah.no divorce happened.i am not scholar i just answered with my common sense after what i understood of your question. May be i am mistaken in understanding your question. But ask your question if you really want to from some reliable scholar rather than asking common public.

  • At Islam.SE (and other StackExchange sites) we can edit answers to add additional information. We don't need to add a new answer each time. – Bleeding Fingers Jul 16 '17 at 23:02

The thing was regarding issue of divorce I really want you to once listen to each and every video of javed Ahmad ghamidi (who is Islamic scholar from Pakistan) on issue of divorce. I really like his views regarding many issues of divorce. Many ppl do not agree with most of his views but disagreeing with one thing does not mean we should not listen to him in other things. Allah wants us to understand Islam through wisdom and his views seems very much near wisdom to me regarding many issues including many of divorce issues. All his videos are available online you can watch them you can visit his website as well. I recommend you to both watch each and every video of javed Ahmad ghamidi regarding issue of divorce and also visit his website. Agreeing or disagreeing with him is another issue. Allah know the best

  • At Islam.SE (and other StackExchange sites) we can edit answers to add additional information. We don't need to add a new answer each time. – Rebecca J. Stones Jul 16 '17 at 3:00

Generally, there are some specified conditions for the accuracy of the divorce (talaq), and talaq would be true if you observe them. So, as I checked them, your divorce is not true owing to some reasons such as:

  • A man who wants to divorce his wife is supposed to do it with the intention of divorce seriously. So, the divorce is not correct and valid if he recites it as kidding
  • Divorce contract must be recited with the correct Arabic words in a way such that two just men listen to it. If the man wants to recite it by himself and his wife's name is Fatimah, he should say:

زَوْجَتِى فٰاطِمَةُ طالِقٌ"

Consequently, don’t worry. Your divorce could not be considered as a right divorce.


Reference:

  • OP is clearly asking for a Sunni view which this answer barely is! – Bleeding Fingers May 30 '15 at 11:41
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    @BleedingFingers as i see, he just asked, not specifically sunni or shia. – qdinar Sep 29 '16 at 14:16

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