My husband and I were watching TV where a man divorced his wife by saying "I divorce you" 3 times. My husband turned and said to me, referring to the man ' he said I divorce you, I divorce you’.
Can you please clarify for me what this means for our marriage?
I really liked some other person's view regarding divorce in joke he is also very knowledgeable person regarding Islamic thing. As scholar quote Hadith:
“There are three matters in which seriousness is serious and joking is serious: marriage, divorce and taking back (one’s wife).” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2194; al-Tirmidhi, 1184; Ibn Maajah, 2039.
(source Islam Q&A)
He says in this matter although such words should not be used in joke but while making decision whole situation should be seen like if wife knows he is joking with her and no serious message delivered to wife then it counts nothing. Mere utterance of phrase of divorce should not be counted basis for making decision. In my view knowledge of man should also seen who uttered phrase. I just shared it. Allah knows the best.
No.
{لاَّ يُؤَاخِذُكُمُ اللّهُ بِاللَّغْوِ فِيَ أَيْمَانِكُمْ وَلَكِن يُؤَاخِذُكُم بِمَا كَسَبَتْ قُلُوبُكُمْ وَاللّهُ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌ} http://quran.ksu.edu.sa/tafseer/katheer/sura2-aya225.html
As a reference, even Allah don't take us for real when we are not serious. Then how about jokes?!
i have written 2 comments to your question, and i can answer to heading version of it, i.e. to
If a husband says 'talaq' to his wife jokingly, does 'talaq' happen? :
if he divorces (i.e. says divorce process initiation phrase) in joke, it is accounted. proofs:
http://sunnah.com/tirmidhi/13/10 :
Abu Hurairah narrated that: The Messenger of Allah said: "Three are serious when they are serious, and serious when they are in jest: Marriage, divorce, and return."
http://sunnah.com/urn/411830 :
Yahya related to me from Malik from Yahya ibn Said that Said ibn al-Musayyab said, "There are three things in which there is no jest: marriage, divorce, and setting free."
http://sunnah.com/urn/1263580 :
It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that: the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "There are three matters in which seriousness is serious and joking is serious: marriage, divorce and taking back (one's wife). "
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but as i see in your case he has not said that he divorces you, but he said that the film character said to his wife that he divorces her.
see my answer about triple divorce: https://islam.stackexchange.com/a/32792 , and you can see there, that even if he divorces you three or even more times at once, he can take you back before iddah is passed, and even one divorce is not counted, if he takes you back before iddah is passed.
By majority of scholars, it would mean you are divorced for the word I divorce you cannot be utter even in joke. If said so, it counts as one count of divorce (three counts make it irrevocable). Since he has said it three times, that means the divorce is done irrevocably.
While there are many websites which highlights this issues (and are conflicting in some ways), this particular link makes a little bit better sense to me.
It essentially said, if you utter these words I divorce you in joke, it counts as divorce. But anything else uttered in joke does not count as divorce, e.g 'I am leaving your for ever' will not count as divorce.
This particular link address another such question where you text message wife and say I divorce you. It says it does NOT count as divorce unless that is his intention. That most likely means he has to confront her and acknowledge that yes he intended it which would count as divorce. An other similar case, if a husband write on paper and give it to wife which says she is divorced, it also does not count as divorce unless he has some kind of verbal acknowledge. The matter is obviously a little confusing.
This matter is actually more complicated if you follow all the Hadith. There are Ahadith which says even single utterance of divorce count as three but in present day of Islam, we don't really follow. I would simply refrain from uttering any such words even in joke or anger on in any case. To highlight the complexity of divorce matter, I would cite a case in India, where the husband divorced his wife in dream and there were confusion if she was divorced or not. She was obviously not divorced in that case.
A point worth noting is if someone commits a sin out of ignorance, that is not counted as sin as such. For example, if you are fasting but do not know the proper ruling and thus do not observe all the rulings properly, that does not count as sin as it is because you were never told and you cannot be made accountable for it. In such case if the husband fall in this category where he did not know an irrevocable divorce can take place in such case, he should get a chance to be with his wife. After all this was not his intentions.
I am of the view that the right of verbal divorce should be taken from husband and should be managed by legal court. That way there will be no confusion in divorce and everything will be fully intentional and recorded. I know verbal divorce (by intention) is a huge problem in many countries where the husband issues divorce and then retreats because he simply want to have sex and his divorced wife is the only option. That is a far bigger sin. There were always reforms in Islam. This reform is due also.
I like some scholar view very much regarding this if both husband and wife knows they are joking with each other then it should not count as divorce.Mere utterance of word talaq or divorce phrase is nothing. Other than this I recommend everyone to listen to javed Ahmad ghamidi each and every lecture regarding the issue of divorce. He has very sensible views on this.he clearly states what are conditions told by Islam on divorce. He says if divorce is given by fulfilling all conditions then it become valid and if conditions are not fulfilled it can be imposed by Islamic court or authorities but it does not become valid on its own. It is not necessary if we do not agree on someone views on one issue then we should disagree with all his views. Islam asks us to decide things with wisdom. I am not scholar I just wrote wt I think. Moreover divorce decisions and other fiqh decisions should not be made in general rather it can only be made depending upon situation in which person's knowledge and each and everything should be kept in mind. And Allah knows the best Thanks
In above situation if husband has said "he said i divorce you". I don't think so it has any effect on your marriage or nikah. If he just told you what actor said in TV to his wife.he did not deivered any message of divorce to you. i dont think you even need to ask anything.there is no effect on your nikah.no divorce happened.i am not scholar i just answered with my common sense after what i understood of your question. May be i am mistaken in understanding your question. But ask your question if you really want to from some reliable scholar rather than asking common public.
The thing was regarding issue of divorce I really want you to once listen to each and every video of javed Ahmad ghamidi (who is Islamic scholar from Pakistan) on issue of divorce. I really like his views regarding many issues of divorce. Many ppl do not agree with most of his views but disagreeing with one thing does not mean we should not listen to him in other things. Allah wants us to understand Islam through wisdom and his views seems very much near wisdom to me regarding many issues including many of divorce issues. All his videos are available online you can watch them you can visit his website as well. I recommend you to both watch each and every video of javed Ahmad ghamidi regarding issue of divorce and also visit his website. Agreeing or disagreeing with him is another issue. Allah know the best
Generally, there are some specified conditions for the accuracy of the divorce (talaq), and talaq would be true if you observe them. So, as I checked them, your divorce is not true owing to some reasons such as:
زَوْجَتِى فٰاطِمَةُ طالِقٌ"
Consequently, don’t worry. Your divorce could not be considered as a right divorce.
Reference:
