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I am only 16 years old. My father is a non-practicing Muslim that sells alcohol and other haram items. I have no other resource of income besides my father.I know the Quran says to obey our parents, which I do, but what should I do in this situation?

I have purchased Qur'an, clothing, food, etc from this money. There is a hadith that says anyone who sells or benefits from selling of haram items are cursed. Am I cursed? Do I return all the items from this money? I was not aware of this while reverting to Islam or using the money he has given me.

I try to talk to him about what he's doing but he just pushes me away. I'm afraid if I talk to him anymore about religion he will no longer talk to me.

  • islamseed.com/… islamseed.com/… – Omar Jul 8 '14 at 0:30
  • what does this mean? – user6813 Jul 8 '14 at 0:54
  • 1) "And if they contend with you that you should associate with Me what you have no knowledge of, do not obey them, and keep company with them in this world kindly" You should obey your parents but in haram matters. 2) "and no bearer of burden shall bear the burden of another" If your parents are committing haram, they bear the consequences, not you. However, you have to keep offering them advice. – Omar Jul 8 '14 at 1:03
  • I don't think you are to blame for what your parents do, since you are still quite young and financially dependent upon them. Having said that, I would recommend that you look for a job and start earning so that eventually you stop being dependent upon them for your needs so that you can nurture yourself with your own halaal income. – Najeeb Jul 8 '14 at 1:41
  • i do keep trying to give my father advice but he gets mad at me. i pray dua for him all the time. i'm just worried that i'm cursed. – user6813 Jul 8 '14 at 1:59
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The hadith you quote applies to people who do that for themselves knowingly. Until you become independent and able to control where your income comes from, you are not responsible for your parents' sins. Use this to motivate yourself to start earning as soon as you can. Your father's income is haram for him but once he gifts it to you (or uses it for your maintenance), for you it is halal inshaAllah. The fact that the same money can have different statuses for different people is based on the hadith of `Aisha, Barirah, and a plate of food, as well as on the fiqh rules concerning inheritance of riba-based property etc.

Focus on learning and solidifying your faith, don't stress about things you cannot control. The shari`a naturally becomes laxer for those in difficult circumstances (this is a principle of fiqh) and this is a mercy from Allah.

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I really recommend you to ask Allah to get you a solution, don't forget the wife of pharaon has one of the best places in paradise because sh had no power against her husband so she asked God to help her out of the sins.

You must also learn how to talk to people, your objective is to save them from hell, not to impose your own opinion (because it's the way they perceive it). To proove your honesty to your self, do a prayer for your father after having talked to him, asking god to show him the way. This is something every person who does da3wa must do: pray to ask God to show the peson he talked to the right way.

Don't think you will save the world, the prophet didn't, and God told him he could not make people believers only if god decided they will be. So do your best, but remain detached and don't put too much rigid emotions in it, after all, you won't show the way more than the prophet did, and you're not even sure you will be saved (your own). So always talk without accusing the other, say only what you feel and what you suffer, never formulate by saying what others do to you (like: instead of saying to your father "you sell alcohol, you are doing haram", say "I'm afraid for you and how you will face God when you will die, I'm uncomfortable to eat and dress things that come from money God forbidden"

As long as the person is not agressed and feels he can help, he will help you because you show you are in a trouble. If at the opposite, you judge and accuse the person, he will be busy thinking of arguments to show he is not evil, and he won't care about your problems (because he's sinking, and because you didn't talk about the thing as a problem for you).

May God help you in this Salem

  • i'm trying but my father has told me not talk to religious about him, or he'll get mad at me. We also have images in the house which i'm trying to get rid of inshAllah, which why i think the angels of mercy aren't in my home. and like i said he might get mad if i try to get rid of the images. what should i do? where i pray i got rid of all images. also should i continue using money from him? he's my only source of income, i can't drive and if i want to drive i'll have to have money from him. i pray Allah (swt) will help guide my family and I, inshAllah. please remember im a revert. jAk. – user6813 Jul 8 '14 at 20:11
  • Someone asked about this same issue and an islam scholar told the child to consume only the minimum of that money for him self (eat and drink). Clothes etc should be minimized until you start earning money by your self. Now I suppose that if you have the possibility to "invest" like for your drive licence to get out of the situation, this is allowed since you are doing that with the intention of getting rid of your cycle. Don't forget yuo will face God alone and explain your reasons alone, so as long as you can justify your behavior honestly, God is merciful. – Zied Hamdi Jul 10 '14 at 10:42

protected by Community Jul 15 '14 at 22:42

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