What are the steps that the wife needs to take to divorce her husband?

Question

There are many answers as to how men can divorce women but there are no answers as to how a wife can divorce a husband. I was married for 18 months. It has been 3 months since I left my husband.

I have been separated for over 3 months. In my mind I am divorced but I think this is probably not enough. My parents have contacted his parents and the imam that was present during the wedding. His parents have said they will not sit down and finalise the divorce and the imam has said that he will not get involved. I feel like I am in limbo. I want closure and I want to know what steps I have to take to ensure that I am officially divorced in Islam. I did not go to a registry office to get married but the imam has said as he doesn't want to get involved we should contact lawyers. But there is no need for this as I only had an islamic marriage.

Please could you let me know how a wife divorces a husband in Islam ?

Answer 1

First you should note that you need to know that wives are not allowed to divorce their husbands without a legit reasons (i.e husband addicted to drugs, husband doesn't support her financially, husband abuse the wife, etc...). These are legit reasons that make it permissible for a wife to divorce her husband.

In your case, I'm not sure if your reasons are valid. and since this is not a peer support site for muslims. I'm going to assume that you have a valid reason to ask for a divorce.

Now if the wife wants to divorce her husband, then you need to go to the court and ask for Khula (خلع). (Khula is the right of a woman to seek a divorce from her husband in Islam for compensation (usually monetary) paid back to the husband from the wife) You can do khula if you are living in a muslim country.

However, if you live in a non-muslim country, then you can just file a divorce paper from the court with the condition that you pay him back some money and the wife keep the children with her with him supporting them if they were young.

For more info - Khula: Definition and how it is done - IslamQA

Answer 2

I am sorry to hear you are seperated and that you must have been shocked when you found out your husband had been viewing sex websites and contacted escort sites. There are questions that arise though as to how your marriage ended up in that situation and I will raise some of them know. Why had the marriage never been consummated? Was your husband not trying? Or was it because you refused to have sex with him because of his wig? If that is the case why did you not seek a divorce much sooner. It is not right to prolong a marriage when there is no acceptance of the man or woman from the other. Also did you not see him before your wedding and I assume with his wig? If so why did you choose to marry him? It sounds like his wig must have been very natural and real looking as there are many sophisticated hair pieces out now worn by well known celebrities and sports people like Elton John, Michael Vaughan (England Cricket Captain). If you decided to stay with your husband then you should have accepted him for who he was with his hair piece and your stay should have been unconditional. If you did not like him for who he was you should not have prolonged your marriage especially if you did not find him attractive and did not do anything to beautify yourself for him. Also while his transgression is completely wrong, Allah can forgive especially if he repents and will not make the mistake again. However you must also accept the mistake and I would recommend Counselling to work on how you can show your love to Him and be a wife that beautifies herself for her husband. Obviously this is only if you ever accepted him from the moment you married him. Otherwise the divorce should have happened shortly after marriage. Finally simply ask him if he will divorce you, if so you are divorced. If he refused to offer you a divorce, then you can request one from the Sharia Council.