I am a born Muslim living in Canada. Six months from now, me and my 3 siblings are about to get married. My father claims that the marriage will be 'Islamic' but wants to spend thousands on dresses of many of his relatives. He wants a stage, mix gathering, 'barats' packed with people, etc.

If do not take part in the event organized by my parents due to their extravagant ideas, will I be committing a sin?

I want to know what are my Islamic rights as an individual who's going to get married?

Can I completely boycott such an event and do a simple ceremony of my own?

  • 2
    I'm not quite sure what the question is here; your headline question suggests that you're concerned about whom you are getting married to; as well as how the ceremony is to be conducted; and for both of these you wish to know your rights; whereas the body of the question suggests that you are only concerned with the latter; can you elaborate? Commented Jun 14, 2014 at 22:05
  • The title of question was edited by "Bleeding Fingers". I am only concerned with the wedding expenses Commented Jun 14, 2014 at 23:55

2 Answers 2


Your responsibility is to convey your point to them as clearly as possible. You are not responsible for their deeds. If they choose to be extravagant, then its upto them.

If you choose to boycott such an event, then its responsibility is upto you and you will be answerable for it.

The ONLY order you can disobey of parents is that if they order you to do shirk (associating partners with God). I don't think that your case falls under this category, so according to Islam, not followings your parents will be a sin.

  • Thanks for your answer. But my concern is that if I do not practice simplicity now, how can I set example for my own kids latter? I think I have the right to make my own decisions and I want to know Islam's perspective. Commented Jun 14, 2014 at 23:59
  • You will get plenty of choices to be a good example for your kids. This conflict between how you want to raise your children and how your parents want to raise their grand children will raise it's ugly head time and again. I think it is better to have a separate house
    – goto
    Commented Jun 15, 2014 at 0:38

But Brother you have the right to know who you are going to marry. You may exercise this right by gently asking your parents. Try to convey your message firmly and politely..

  • I know who I am getting married to. In fact, I am already done with nikah. It is only the ceremony which hasn't been done yet. Commented Jun 14, 2014 at 23:56
  • If you can do something that can change the things you don't want then its good. Otherwise I think you will be thought as anti-social in your circle. I suggest that you have a Pakistani background as it is done here in South Asia only. If its true then you also know that boycotting such events are not forgotten by family members. So, try to be social and enjoy your ceremony. 'Sulah Rehmi' 'صلح رحمی' its called..
    – user263210
    Commented Jun 16, 2014 at 3:23

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