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Is there any rules in Islam on how long parents should help their children? My parents helped me a lot until now but still my financial condition is not good at all.

I have a 15 months old son and I am really struggling financially. My parents say that they have more responsibility toward others (relatives, non-family members etc) and they will not be able to help me any more.

When I am struggling financially, they are going to holidays in USA/Canada. They even adopted a daughter and they are doing everything for her. Even spending so much money and will be spending in her marriage as well. treating her as their own daughter when I am just standing far and watching their actions. I feel hurt but don't say anything as they will say I am jealous.My parents have done Hajj in 2009, after coming from hajj they were good with me for few months but later everything changed.

  • Do you have husband? What is your source of income? – muslim1 Jun 2 '14 at 10:22
  • I don' think the title matches with question, the title asks about broad topic while the question is on how long should a father spend on his son. You might want to edit the title. – Sohaeb Jun 2 '14 at 17:44
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I won't get into all the evidence that shows the father is obligated to spend on his wife and children since the question asks about the duration.


How long parents should help their children?

Scholars said if son has enough money then the father is not obligated to sponsor him. while they differ on whether the father should sponsor his poor, adult, capable to work son. Majority say he is not obligated to do so.

However, if are not capable of working, then your father must help you.

As for girls who reached puberty, Majority said father should sponsor her until she gets married.

However, that doesn't mean they can't help you. Actually, if they do, they will get double the deeds:

Salman bin 'Amir (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "When you break fast, you should do it with a date-fruit for there is blessing in it, and if you do not find a date- fruit, break it with water for it is pure." Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) added: "Charity towards a poor person is charity, and towards a relation is both charity and maintaining the ties (of kinship)".

[Tirmidhi] - sunnah.com

My parents say that they have more responsibility toward others (relatives, non-family members etc) and they will not be able to help me any more.

What they are saying is false, although they are not obligated to spend on you. Their first responsibility is to help their parents (your grandparents) then their children (you) then other people in the family. As came in the hadith in Bukhary - sunnah.com:

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "The upper hand is better than the lower one (i.e., the spending hand is better than the receiving hand); and begin (charity) with those who are under your care;....."


Note: Adoption is not permissible, however, sponsoring a child is allowed. If by adoption you mean the child change his last name to your fathers name and then the child inherits from your father and mother, then this is not allowed.

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