In Islam, are Muslims commanded to hate non-Muslim or hate their acts (such as shirk) or both? Please enlighten me on this topic & provide references for your answer from authentic books only.
And do not argue with the People of the Scripture except in a way that is best, except for those who commit injustice among them, and say, "We believe in that which has been revealed to us and revealed to you. And our God and your God is one; and we are Muslims (in submission) to Him."
Also regarding the behavior of a Muslim towards a Non-Muslim,
How Muhammad (pbuh) was tolerant: you can read in the book The Life of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)
Here is a part about the Treaty of Hudaybiyah
Soon after this, official messengers came from Quraysh and talks began for a peaceful settlement. A man called Suhayl ibn 'Amr was sent by the Meccans to work out a treaty. When the Prophet (pbuh) asked 'Ali to write 'In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful', on the top of the page, Suhayl objected, saying 'Write only: bismik Allahumma (in Thy name, 0 Allah). I don't know him as al-Rahman (the Most Gracious), al-Rahim (the most Merciful).' The Prophet (pbuh) agreed and dictated: 'This is a treaty between Muhammad the Messenger of Allah and Suhayl ibn 'Amr.''Stop!' cried Suhayl, 'I don't believe that you are Rasulallah (the Messenger of Allah). If I thought you were Allah's Messenger, I wouldn't be fighting against you, would I?' Calmly, the Prophet (pbuh) agreed that he should be referred to in the treaty as Muhammad', son of 'Abd Allah. The Muslims were very upset at this, and 'Umar furiously cried out, 'Are you not Allah's Messenger, and are we not Muslims? How can we accept such treatment when we are right and they are wrong? This will make people laugh at our religion!' But the Prophet (pbuh) knew what was best and the Treaty of Hudaybiyah was signed.