At my university there is a girl that I love and I want to marry in the future. Can I be in relationship with her, if we keep ourselves away from sin? This girl is Muslim, she practices prayer (salah) and she wears veil (hijab).

3 Answers 3


First I'd like to mention that the mixing in schools, universities and is haram and very dangerous especially for young and also for adults. Because it leads to many evils and haram things. The Prophet Muhammad PBUH said in the Sahihayn:

‏ "‏ ما تركت بعدي فتنة هي أضر على الرجال من النساء‏"‏ ‏(‏‏(‏متفق عليه‏)‏‏)‏‏.‏

"I am not leaving behind me a more harmful trial for men than women". [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

For this reason many scholars have forbidden to go to mixed schools and universities expect for some cases mentioned by some scholars.

Sheikh bin Othaymeen said in his explanation of the above Hadith in Riyadh al-Saliheen:

We should cut any way which leads to women sedition(Fitnat al-nisaa). So any way which leads to women sedition, Muslims must cut(leave it).

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

Undoubtedly allowing women to mix freely with men is the basis of all evils.

And what you have mentioned is a way to sedition and it may leads to many haram things. And search in the net you can find a lot of stories which started with an innocent relationship and finished by disaster like Zina.

And you should don't say that your are mature and you say what are you doing. It's just an innocent relationship. Because no one can avoid the sedition without avoiding the way which leads to it. Because we have two main enemies our souls and the devil who always we push us to do evils. So pay attention brother.

So you should cut your relationship and stop talking with her expect the extreme cases. And if you lave her and really want to marry her then you should talk with her Wali(like her father or her uncle) about the marriage. This may be an excellent opportunity to marriage with the girl who you love.

Because the Prophet said:

"لَمْ نَرَ لِلْمُتَحَابَّيْنِ مِثْلَ النِّكَاحِ"

"There is nothing like marriage, for two who love one another." Narrated from Ibn Abbas.[Sunan Ibn Majah].

And the Prophet PBUH have advice the young to marriage because it resolve many young problem one of them is the sedition.

In the Hadith:

"يَا مَعْشَرَ الشَّبَابِ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ مِنْكُمُ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ"

0 young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it "restrains eyes (from casting evil glances) and preserves one from immorality; but he who cannot afford It should observe fast for it is a means of controlling the sexual desire." [Sahih Muslim].

And Allah knows best.


Short Answer:

No you cannot. This is not permissible in any way, as any and all kinds and forms of relationships outside of marriage is against the Shariah and not of Islam. If you love this women you should marry her through the way described in Islam, if not then you should stay far away from her, and she should stay far away from you.

Here is some Arabic resources for more information: Source, Source

Long Answer:

Such a relationship is impermissible and not allowed. The only relationship that a man and women outside his family can have, is the relationship of marriage as is prescribed and described in Islam. If you like her, and she likes you then either marriage, as the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

‏ لَمْ نَرَ لِلْمُتَحَابَّيْنِ مِثْلَ النِّكَاحِ

There is nothing like marriage, for two who love one another

ابن ماجه

else stay away from her, and since she makes her salat, Insha'Allah it does it's job and if there is no marriage the she also should stay away from you. So beware brother, that the most dangerous fitnah on men is women (any women), and there is no such thing as a relationship (in any form it takes) outside of proper/correct marriage that has no sin or does not lead to sins, Source.

  • what is the importance of engagement in this situation! can a man talk with a girl who is engaged with him?
    – xitas
    Jun 3, 2014 at 12:13
  • 3
    @Hamza When someone is following the correct ways of getting married, then there are exceptions, the exceptions are that you should find what you like in the women to lead you to marry her, so that means it's ok to look at her, and if you do speak you cannot be alone and she must be with a Mahram.
    – مجاهد
    Jun 3, 2014 at 15:05

Since you're aware of the possibility of sin, there should be guidelines that you must keep in order for you to have a halal relationship.

First you cannot be alone with her in a secluded area where no one can see you. This includes outdoors where no one is around. Rasolullah clearly had forbade men from being secluded with a woman who is not related to them.

In both Sahih books, a hadith narrated by ibn Abbas, that Rasolullah said =

"No man should be alone with a woman except with her mahram present."

The word translated as alone is khalwa. Khalwa is not to be seen by anyone. So you're not allowed to do that with her.

You both can be in public places with people around, but you should at least try to keep your distance and careful of your thoughts.

I highly suggest you get your families involved so the process of marriage will be a lot easier and may be even marry while you two are still in school.

Allaho Alim.


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