Is it haram not to have children?

Question

Hi my name is Keyshawna and I have been Muslim for about a little over two years but I'm still learning and still struggling with self-educating myself. But my question is: Is it haram to not have children?

My reason for asking this question is because I'm not really sure if I want to have children because I am a little scared of child birth... even though I have never given birth before but I did get a glimpse and sound and just an imaginary thought of how it might be or feel. I'm not saying that I hate kids but I am saying is that I don't know if I want to. I believe one of my Muslimah (a female Muslim ) friends told me it is haram not to have children unless you couldn't conceive she never really gave me an actual reason nor could she explain... Why.

I mean this isn't just a final answer to my whole life... I'd probably change my mind and have children in the near future but for now I am not sure.

Answer 1

In the name of God

If we see this question from the fiqh aspect, no it is not haram and there is no reason that it is haram, but from intellectual point of view, it is not acceptable.

1. Marriage is one of the necessary events in the creation system and is the way of becoming perfect in our life, such that the life of human in the world began with Adam and Havva(Eve) and after that with their children. With the marriage the couple can reach to peace and their mental and physical needs can be met. As God says:

And of his signs is that he created for you mates from your own selves that you may take comfort in them and he ordained affection and mercy between you. There are indeed signs in that for people who are thinking. ( Ar- Rum , 21 )

2. The family is the first and most holy social center in the world and having a baby is its perfect state. Be careful that the human have some needs and potential talents that if one of them does not reach the perfect state, he/she cannot be successful in his life. So having a baby is a kind of way of improving life for everyone.

3. Marriage helps parents to be perfect and leads to survival of the breed then from the point of intellectual view, having a child is necessary . Although in fiqh , it is not haram , avoiding of that has bad and unfavorable effects on human life . This issue is such important in fiqh that, if a wife or husband cannot have a child and the other side did not know about that before the marriage, they can divorce easily.

4. Finally having a baby is one of the essential needs for a society from the social, economic and political point of view. So without a young breed, the society will become week.

On the other hand, I want tell you something as a mother, having a baby makes you happy, strong, patient, hopeful and motivated to live better. You want to train them in the best way so at first you will become more sophisticated and intelligent.

Answer 2

There are two parts of your question:

1. How to overcome fear of childbirth?
2. Is having children mandatory in Islam?

Before answering, an assumption is that you are married or about to be, as you are thinking about this.

Regarding your first question, you can go through some therapy. Probably your doctor can recommend about it or help you herself.

About the second question, I have never seen any aayah in Quran or a hadith that everyone must have children. Prophet Muhammad (SAW) did not have children with most of his wives. Your friend must give the source of her advice.

What is forbidden is that people should not kill their children because they think that they cannot provide food, clothes and shelter. It is Allah who is The Provider, so one must always pray to Him for all needs. This rule applies to abortion related matters too if they are done because of this reason.

Answer 3

If you mean remaining unmarried, it is a different issue. But From the question I assume this question is about married woman. Married woman with no health problem will have children (get pregnant) automatically and quickly within few months after marriage unless there is a birth control method used. So the Islamic answer in fact depends on the method used for not having children (i.e. birth control method).

There are two types of not having children for a healthy married woman:

1. By using a temporarily birth control method that can be stopped whenever wished.

2. By permanently disabling the reproduction system of woman body

Generally if not having children (or in fact birth control) is by a method that causes leaving a person unable to reproduce permanently it is Haram. But if it is reasonable and temporarily it is permissible.

Also if using any birth control method contains any Haram act for example looking of a non-Mahram doctor at body of woman then it is Haram anyway.

Also if husband is not agree with prevention, it's not allowable to do so. Permission of husband is necessary.

Reference:

Taken from this Fatwa from Imam Khomeini in this regard

Answer 4

No it's not haram . Child birth is women's right.and more blessing. Allah gives good deeds for looking after child.

For more you can visit : https://youtu.be/thxZNqm5nJM

Answer 5

Simple answers ladies and gents. Nowhere deed Allah (swt) say in Quran or Hadith it's haram. Loads of men and women cannot have children because of many issues and Allah (swt) did not make it an obligation to have children. As muslims our number one reason to be alive is to worship Allah (swt) not to have children.

Women were created to serve Allah (swt) alone not there husbands wishes for children and not here on earth to serve men.

Answer 6

No, its not haram to not have children. There maybe good reasons that you cannot - for example, you are infertile. It is sunnat, however to have children. In Islam, sex is seen as important for reproduction and not for hedonism, which is haram. Islam, seeks a middle way between abstinence and hedonism.

Answer 7

https://islamqa.info/en/answers/32479/family-planning I’ve also heard from Sheik Assim Al hakeem that it’s haram to not want a child as a final decision ever.

Answer 8

I would like tell that if any wife do not want to have children then what is her life motive? Allah has created her female to be a mother which have heaven beneath her feet and then said In Quran that do not fear to have children because Allah will bless you with resources for their bread and butter. These verses shows that Allah encourages children ‘s birth and one should not be afraid of their needs. If a woman doesn’t like to have children she’s denying the Almighty Allah who has assured that he will look after the needs of children but the lady has not firm faith on it. It’s means that she is in denial state and if she is denying Allah she is not good Muslam. May Allah keep all the men and women on his right path (Elahi Ameen)

Answer 9

In this day and age, I hope with the gift of knowledge and the Internet, people would learn. For Knowledge is Allah's Gift to Mankind.

1. The Body is given by Allah to the possessor. In the day of Judgement, you are responsible for any harm to your body. Saying that, having lot of kids will change the internal workings of a woman's body. In the long run, it will do more harm to the woman body by having a lot of kids.
2. Having a baby will produce Dopa-mine. This is a natural chemical which is addictive like any drug one would use like cocaine and ecstasy. So one should not have Children cause one feels lost or looking for fulfillment. Happiness should come from within and also by being devoted to Allah.
3. Marriage is a partnership between a Man and a Woman. If the Man does not want to use contraceptives does not mean he can force his wife from using them. As in Point 1 , it's her body ; Allah's gift to her. So she should be comfortable in not using protection. Remember she is the one who is going to carry a child for nine months.
4. In the Quran, it’s written not to kill your children because of poverty, Allah will provide. It does not mention anything about not having kids. Having Children is a responsibility and a Mother's choice. Having too many kids with the inability to provide for them and care for them is the same as killing them. In this age where we are a 7 Billion people and soon will reach 10 billion, we will run out of food and water and destroy Allah’s gift to us, the World. Already a lot of people live in poverty. Would you want to drive your children to such fate? Allah will always provide but we humans are not kind and humble. We are greedy and many wars can be seen because of poverty.
5. Being a Muslim does not mean you should follow blindly. Question, find the answers and if you are still unsatisfied with the answers, question some more. When a Man feels he is right when others say he is wrong, Allah will take into consideration the thoughts of the man when judging him. May Allah bless you all.