A couple was in the habit of having constant conjugal fights. In the course of one such altercation, the husband asked the wife, "Can't you get any poison?". The wife then and there got the insecticide which was incidentally at their house, drank it, and in-spite-of the best efforts from the doctors, died in hospital after fighting with death for two days.

Now, definitely, the woman is in a very big sin by committing suicide.

On the other hand, the question is, the children of this fellow want to know how should they treat their father in light of Islamic teachings? He is their father non-the-less. Again, he is the person who is indirectly responsible for the act committed by their mother.

  • 1
    A Muslim should always be level-headed, even during domestic conflicts. The wife consumed poison in the heat of the moment and ruined her akhirah. This was her foolishness. During domestic conflicts people are bound to say hurtful things, but taking such drastic action was uncalled for. So I would not blame the man entirely since harsh words are exchanged in every house that has married couples in it. So I would recommend that the children bear this in mind and not commit any sin themselves by showing disrespect for their father.
    – Najeeb
    Mar 25, 2014 at 10:26

2 Answers 2


Respect of parents (kindness to them) is excepted only when it would lead to shirk:

And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do. 29:8

Furthermore, there is nothing in the Quran about obedience to parents, in fact it states very plainly that in the face of justice, stand firm:

O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm in justice, witnesses for Allah , even if it be against yourselves or parents and relatives. Whether one is rich or poor, Allah is more worthy of both. So follow not [personal] inclination, lest you not be just. And if you distort [your testimony] or refuse [to give it], then indeed Allah is ever, with what you do, Acquainted. 4:135

Obedience is only for Allah, not for parents; and finally:

And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. 17:23

Keeping all the above in mind - I would recommend to avoid any confrontations and treat him with respect - as children are not the judge of their parents and the true judge is Allah.

May Allah grant them all patience and strength of will in this difficult time.

And Allah Knows Best.

  • -1 obedience to parents is a major part of Islam, and disobedience to them is a major sin. Your answer is missing the part about that, although it mentions correctly that you do not obey parents in anything sinful; even then, you have to apply hikmah.
    – ashes999
    Mar 24, 2014 at 16:01
  • I referred in my answers to the Quran; but you are right that there are many hadeeth towards displeasing parents; the one that jumps right to mind is: “Beware! Abstain from angering the parents. The fragrance of Paradise is perceived even at a distance of a thousand years, but those who are disobedient to parents and those who cut off ties with relatives will not be able to smell it.” Mar 24, 2014 at 19:32

No matter what happens you should always respect your parent and try to keep them happy. It is a major sin to disreapect your parents and the only time you can go against them is if you emaan is in danger. It has even been said that on the fay of judgement you parents will be asked if they forgive you and if they say 'No' then Allah will say 'If your parents can't forgive you then how can I' You won't be forgiven untill your parents forgive. And I am sure your mother will be upset to find that she is the reason you disprespect your father and gets sins.

  • I asked the question for somebody else, not for me.
    – Masroor
    Mar 27, 2014 at 0:01
  • Ok just tell them that they always have to respect their parent no matter what the situation is. Maybe even try make the father a better person.
    – Aisha
    Mar 27, 2014 at 7:27

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