Can a man have sex with other women if wife refuses?

Question

I am married but have no sexual contact with my wife even though we live in same house. We are in our late 60s
In the U.S.A tt is not allowed to have a second wife. What can I do about this? Am I able to masturbate when required?

Answer 1

I would like to give another solution in which you don't have to marry a second wife or divorce your present wife.

As you mentioned masturbation, what is wrong if you ask your wife to do it for you with her hand. It is completely allowed and there is no difference of opinion among scholars. It will fulfil your needs to a certain extent.

Answer 2

Absolutely not. But one can have a second wife. Up to four are allowed as you might know. Masturbation is somewhat controversial in Islam. It is not clearly forbidden. There are views that say it is strictly forbidden. But there are people who say it is allowed in case it can save you from a bigger sin. In your case I would say, sure you can do it just because marriage can be a too hectic for you at this stage.

For you information, you can have second wife in the US. By going to the mosque and do it in islamic way. There is not restriction/punishment on it. May be you won't be allowed to get benefit for two wives from the government but that is a compromise you can do.

My personnel advice is, try to resolve issues with your wife, if you find her attractive enough. Or you can resort to self pleasure as last resort.

Answer 3

Allah Subhanahu wt'ala in the 23th Sura (Chapter of Holly Quran, according to the common sorting):

{قَدْ أَفْلَحَ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ(1)الَّذِينَ هُمْ فِي صَلَاتِهِمْ خَاشِعُونَ(2)وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ عَنِ اللَّغْوِ مُعْرِضُونَ(3)وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِلزَّكَاةِ فَاعِلُونَ(4)*وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِفُرُوجِهِمْ حَافِظُونَ(5) إِلَّا عَلَىٰ أَزْوَاجِهِمْ أوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ غَيْرُ مَلُومِينَ(6)فَمَنِ ابْتَغَىٰ وَرَاءَ ذَٰلِكَ فَأُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْعَادُونَ(7)*وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِأَمَانَاتِهِمْ وَعَهْدِهِمْ رَاعُونَ(8)وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ عَلَىٰ صَلَوَاتِهِمْ يُحَافِظُونَ(9)أُولَٰئِكَ هُمُ الْوَارِثُونَ(10)الَّذِينَ يَرِثُونَ الْفِرْدَوْسَ هُمْ فِيهَا خَالِدُونَ(11)}

In this Ayat Allah says that most certainly those Believers have attained true success, who perform their Salat (prayer) with humility, and who refrain from vain things, and who spend their Zakat dues, and who guard their private parts scrupulously, except with regard to their wives and those women who are in their possession, for in that case they shall not be blame-worthy, but those, who go beyond this shall be transgressors. And says that Believer are also who are true to their trusts and their promises, and who strictly guard their Prayers. And says that these pre-described Believers are the heirs, who will inherit Paradise and dwell therein for ever.

So we learn from those Ayat that real Believers should only make sexual contact only with wife or women in his possession, not any other women or not masturbating, otherwise he would be a transgressor.

And Allah knows best.

Answer 4

Shia View:

Please note in Islam it is not required that a marriage be registered. So you can have a marriage that is accepted in Islam but not official. You can have a temporary marriage. But it has many Islamic laws that you should respect them like laws in permanent marriage.

Temporary marriage is mentioned in this verse of Quran: In verse 4:24 of Koran (فَمَا اسْتَمْتَعْتُم بِهِ مِنْهُنَّ فَآتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ فَرِيضَةً) the word اسْتَمْتَعْتُم has same root of Mut'ah and has same meaning.

The literal meaning of Mut'ah is enjoying and does not mean permanent marriage. For more information about temporary marriage in Islam you can read this book:

Muta', Temporary Marriage in Islamic Law

Answer 5

According to Islam, it is not allowed to have sexual contact with any people without marrying them.

If you are not pleased with your wife, better you can divorce your wife in Islamic way (as you have a valid reason) and marry some other woman who will fulfill your needs.