I have a friend who is a Muslim and is gay. He has told me that he doesn't want to be gay. He even punishes himelf for it. He has told me that it is forbidden in Islam to be homosexual. He is falling into the state of depression. What am I meant to do about it? I want to help him but I don't know how.
Being homosexual isn't a sin. Acting on it—just as acting on any sexual urge outside of the proper bounds (such as marriage)—is.
Punishing yourself, as negative reinforcement, is not a very wise choice psychologically and, if it includes physical harm, could in fact be forbidden.
I've yet to meet a gay person that went, "One day I was straight, and then I decided I'd be gay." Every-single-one of them just grew up that way, the same way straight folks do. That doesn't excuse performing a sin just as being born with propensity for alcoholism or drug use does not excuse those actions, but it ought to put things into perspective and incite people to a better understanding with how to deal with such situations.
I notice whenever you search such questions on various online fatwa sites that the answer almost always come back to pray more, make dua, etc. I was skeptical of this for years. It seemed like a cheap cop-out. (Such was the extent of my iman) However I now have personal experience (though not in this situation) of how just that CAN affect great change.
So yes, you can pray, make dua, and suddenly be straight if that is what God wills. But let's keep in mind that understanding I mentioned earlier in case that is not the outcome. Nobody goes, "Ooh, a life of rudeness, depression and oppression? I totally want to be gay now," so let's stop pretending that these people are evil scheming perverts just because they grew up with a different set of attractions. Life's hard enough without being an ass.
Maintaining wudu, I found, has a positive effect. I notice I feel more content and just cleaner throughout when I do that. I don't know if that will result in your friend's attractions changing, but it might help ease their troubled heart a bit. Just a thought.
He even punishes himelf for it.
How he gave punishes himself?
We still have open the door of repentance (tauba).
Allah forgive all of our sins even if it is million-billion times greater than as we think. It’s never too late for tauba. Allah is the biggest forgiver.
It is stated in Al Haakim that if a person sins, and (regretting what he did and want to make tauba) makes wudu, and pray 2 rakaats and ask forgiveness for that sin Allah forgives him.
When making tauba if a person extends his hands and says oh Allah, I am repenting to you, with the conviction not to do it again, so he will be forgiven as long as he stays away from it. Al Haakim.
The Holy Prophet Sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam said to a person, say oh Allah, your forgiveness is vaster than my sins and your mercy is deeper than this act of mine, again, and again, and then told him to get up Allah has forgiven Him. Al Haakim. Detail