I am a 24-year old man. When I was young, I had an attraction towards men. But I couldn't change as I grew up. Now day by day my attraction to men is increasing. I prayed so much, and even did extra fast, I thought I would change, but I couldn't. I have also consulted a lot of doctors about my sex orientation, but I could not find any cure for this.

I decided to suicide a couple of times, but I know suicide is haram, so whenever I am alone I just pray, even at midnight, and ask Allah to cure me, but it is not working.

And now my family wants me to get married, but I don't even have a little attraction to girls. I can't tell the truth to my family too. I am helpless, but what I am is not in my hands.

What should be done it such a case? Does Allah really hate homosexuals?


6 Answers 6


It is a test from Allah, and Allah tests those whom he loves.

The Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said as narrated by Tirmidhi and Ibn Maajah :

‘The greater reward is with the greater trial or the greater the trial or difficulty of test or hardship is then the greater the reward. And when Allah loves a person He will test them. So he who will be pleased and then He will be pleased. He who is displeased, then He will be displeased.’(Sahaba’s name not clear) ‘The people as long as they are in good health, good shape, good condition they are covered. You don’t know their true character because they are in good situation, they are in good circumstance. As long as they are in a good circumstances they are covered. But if a trial or difficulty or a hardship comes upon them, then you will see their reality. They will go to their reality. The Mu’min will run to his Imaan, the Mu’min will run to his belief, the believer will run to his belief, his Imaan and the hypocrite will run to his hypocrisy, and the hypocrite will run to his hypocrisy. “Without being shaken, you don’t not know what comes to the top and what goes to the bottom. Without being shaken you don’t know a man from those who are faking; you won’t know women from those who are faking. You won’t know those who truly believe from those who don’t. Those who make a claim o­n their tongue and is not really in their hearts and from their limbs from those who are willing to die for this matter. This can o­nly be shown by trials, the tribulations and tests and difficulties.”

It is also stated by Allah subhanallah watallah in surat al baqarah 2:155-156

“We will test you with something of fear, and hunger and loss of wealth, and souls and vegetation. And give glad tidings to those who have patience. Those who if in any difficulty or trial, or tribulation occurs to them or happens to them, they say: ‘Verily We are from Allah and to Allah we return.’ They are those who will receive prayers from their Lord and Mercy and it is those who are guided.”

And also 2:286

"Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people."

InshAllah you will find solace and comfort in the words of Allah and his messenger Muhammad, peace be upon him. I will leave you with a video link (if this is allowed) of Yasir Qahdi on an episode of "The deen show" addressing the topic with knowledge of the quran and authentic sunnah http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaW66-ZWD9k&app=desktop so that it can inshAllah benefit you.

May Allah make it easy for you. So you see, I have no doubt that you can pass this test because of what the quran has said about every soul not having been burdened with that which it cannot handle, and as muslims we believe this to be the verbatim word of the creator. Barakullah Feekum ya akhi.


Brother, you are still young of age and have a long way to go, but just keep in mind that Allah is always willing to help and forgive you. No human being is without sins! Keep on praying and ask Allah to change your life. Allah is the Creator of the Univers. So if you desperately and sincerely want to have a better and happy life don t stop praying, but first you have to accept that you are gay. After acceptance then you can move on. Pray to Allah that you are accepting who you are now, but ask Him to change your life. I am aware that sometimes you will be tempted, but don t give up. Even if you have made some mistakes, don t punish yourself but ask for forgivenes. Sometimes we blame shaytaan of our wrong doings but we also like to tempt ourselves not realizing that we are not strong enough to resist the temptation. Only Allah can give you the strength to go on in life with its ups and downs. Have trust in Allah and you will be blessed! Eventhough you dont feel attracted to girls, still you can be friends with them and perhaps one day you could love a girl dearly and want to get married to her. Inshallah! Please, have patience and keep on praying. There s a lot of young people out there with the same problem, but there are always people to help you. Now and then you will be disappointed in your fellow man, still have faith! Keep this in mind: People can judge me, but Allah knows my heart and He s the only one I can trust and loves me and He will always keep an eye on me. Have Allah ever forsaken a man who truely have faith in Him. No!!! Do not focus to much on your sexuality. Try to focus more on good deeds. Help others, be good to others. You will get the love you are searching for by helping people in need e.g the poor, the oppressed. Pray, pray , pray and your prayers will be answered.



And [We had sent] Lot when he said to his people, "Do you commit such immorality as no one has preceded you with from among the worlds? Indeed, you approach men with desire, instead of women. Rather, you are a transgressing people.

People of Lot were homosexuals, and they were destroyed .

I would advise you to marry. Even if you are not interested in girls, the mutual cooperation between you may turn into love in future. May Allah bless you .

  • 3
    Do not do not do not encourage gay people to marry the opposite sex. It has been known to work out as a reasonable relationship, but that's very very unusual. Generally, it's extremely unfair for both spouses.
    – TRiG
    Commented Feb 17, 2014 at 18:38

I can understand your feeling, as i always thought same too as i am going through transition from gay to getting married. Its hard not to have feeling for anyone of opposite sex. But once you make a commitment to do what Allah says, everything else kicks in. you just have to think, what Quran says is right and my reservation or my mind is wrong. Its such a powerful thing to be in grace of Quran and Allah. I had loved a guy more than i can say, been through hell and it hurts me to walk out but there is no pain more than knowing you will die without making allah happy, I try to console my ex too, he hate me for my guts for starting to love a women. I try my best to be his best friend but i have put a hard leash on my desire and my inclination.
Everyone dies, but dying for a reason you were born for (to serve Allah) is the righteous death. Desires, inclination changes overtime (in teenage we love to see nude girls, in late teens we wanna drink, later we want a girlfriend), so everything about us in temporary.. What lives forever is love for Allah, even after you die.
Hope you find your answer, from someone who had been there and is struggling to change.


Aleister crowley said that when he had his first homosexual experience, the world of jinn had finally opened to him. Homosexuality is related to magic, and shaitain loves when you disobey Allah. I advise you to get married to a good Muslim girl and be strong in your Iman to cure this attraction.

  • 4
    *blink* Aleister Crowley is an Islamic authority now?
    – TRiG
    Commented Feb 17, 2014 at 18:39

There are two subjects to which you need to pay attention: illness and treatment.


Did you discuss sex and gender issues with a doctor? Maybe you are a female (transsexual). If you have a different sex you need speak with your family (or have a doctor speak with your family).


If you are a man it is impossible that you don’t have any attraction to females, because that would mean that God made a mistake, which is inconceivable. Therefore, you need to find the reason why you feel that you have no attraction to females.

There are some things which influence this:

  1. Your Mind: Let’s say this was “inculcated”; for this you need to visit a psychologist.
  2. Your somatic: I mean it could be that some illness has caused this feeling; for this you would need both a doctor and a psychologist.
  3. Maybe you need to change some things in your life, for example pictures, friends, movies, music or any other things which might remind you of homosexual issues.


Please be informed that God’s Creation is based on cause and effect. For example, when you are hungry you try to eat.

I want to say that prayer alone is not a solution: you should find the problem, then find the solution, and then depend on Allah and fight the problem. You must pray along the way. Imagine a person who sits in his room and prays to find food: if he doesn’t wake and go looking for food, he cannot find any food.

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