Is it haram for a man and a woman to have a romantic relationship before marriage? I'm not talking about something sexual of course that is a sin.

But what if a guy and a girl in a relationship, but they never touch each other, never be alone like just the two of them, never hold hands and stuff, always pray and dua, always do all good deeds and all. Is it still against Islam?


1 Answer 1


Not being a scholar, as far as I have understood "to like" or even "to love" someone of opposite gender is no way a sin, the fault of Zuleikha (The wife of Aziz of Egypt) was not her loving Joseph --peace be upon him-- but that she expected a forbidden relationship with him and she had a husband at the time. However, if someone likes someone else of opposite gender should either try to marry that person, though if possible at all, or try to get aside from that person's way not to fall in any sin.

Not only touching is forbidden but also seeing each other's body (even if hair or arm or neck or ears of the girl, or body of the guy) and even smelling the girl's perfume is Haram. If any of them may see the other to enjoy what he/she sees this would also be Haram, even if it is face or hand. Moreover they should try to speak seriously not to get even close to the zone of the sins. If they are at a point to decide whether to marry or not they can both see each other (even if necessary each other's body except some exceptions) and speak as much as is required for making a reasonable decision. However, if they have decided to marry and want to spend time with each other before wedding and etc. they should note they are still strangers and not Mahram, and there is no difference between them and any other two strangers of the opposite gender.

The best way however is to do marry in a temporary fashion (النکاح المتعه), this is what I did when I was to marry my wife. Temporary marriage was permitted by the holy prophet --peace be upon him and his household-- and there is a verse in Quran that allows it, but Umar then after forbade it (Sunnis think differently of this history though), but Shi'ite still approves it as a verse of Quran cannot be rejected by Fatawa (Fatwas) of other people.

  • It is worth emphasising that "love" in "to love" refers to Platonic love and not passion, physical intimacy or romance. Feb 2, 2014 at 16:35
  • @BleedingFingers, do you have any evidence for that only loving (as in love of Zuleikha, passion) is Haram? I guess not! [The Platonic Love you cited is clearly allowed, even in a Hadeeth I read enjoying beauty of women if is not sexual but is like enjoying the beauty of flowers is not Haram although better to be avoided as may end into Haram.]
    – owari
    Feb 2, 2014 at 17:33
  • avoid temporary marriage ,,, as much as possible. we can start a mutah topic as a queation, or in chat
    – user2724
    Feb 17, 2014 at 7:47
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    @MAKZ,Why to avoid? Agree upon that it can have its bad side effects, but someone who needs or feel immune of that why not to do Mut`ah? If you know that the girl can define limitations for their relationship and her father allows her such (the guy is not astray, the girl is wise enough) how might it be problematic at all? Anyway, you can always raise new questions in Islam.SE. If you want to chat maybe tonight I will have access to internet, GodWilling.
    – owari
    Feb 17, 2014 at 17:18
  • @owari raising Mut'ah question in Islamic SE will be straight away closed as primarily opinion based because of different view points of different scholars, esp from shia and sunni sects. So we can chat, but before that read this , this , this and this. And Mutah requires pre-determined divorce but we know this
    – user2724
    Feb 17, 2014 at 17:53

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