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What does Quran or hadith says about marriage, when a guy who don't have a stable career or smooth educational background? I happen to had a very strange teenage, and just entered my 30's. I was never given any importance by my family and was always stun down as i lived in a troubled combine family. I moved out last year, and been living on my own. I work freelance and sometimes its good and sometimes its not. When not able to make money, i take loan from my sister and give it in time (hence i am credible), but she mentioned to her husband that i need it for my mother, not mentioning me. Where i grew up, i was bullied, molested and much more, like home fights, my brother n his wife fight and i was told not to come in between or to leave home, as my mom would like me to go out with her when tensed. Even after moving out, its like my strings are being pulled. i.e,

  1. Always my family says "get married" and nothing else, even when i tell them the case of my unstable income. they say, believe in Allah, and do it
  2. Whenever there is fight between my brother and his wife, my mother would like to come to my place (other than that, no one ever come) or want me to take her somewhere, where there is 6-7 hours wasted of mine, discussing family issues.
  3. I lost my clients and work, because of my family issues and spending much time offline and not working, again my mother says "believe in Allah"

I am starting to think, i am not good enough for my own good. I hear people and start doing it, no one respects me or my work and i am told don't worry your taking care of your mom. Allah knows it, and now i have health crisis along with work crisis.

Question:

  • With so much going on, and not knowing what tomorrow might bring in case of stability, is it possible to delay marriage?

As i have heard Quran says, to get married in late 20's. But my mind has been mushed with everything that has happen to me in teenage (molesting) and 16 years of my brother and his wife fights where i was told not to intervene , and i believe i am not worth it (can make my wife happy or my kids safeguard, as of my background) . I have pressure on me of marriage,but i think my mind is totally turned liquid, as i can't do anything professionally. I study so much and for years but i fail.

  • Your case seems to be quite involved... why don't you locate a local Islamic counsellor and have a personal consultation with him? That may make sense in your case rather than just plain vanilla recommendations. – Najeeb Jan 22 '14 at 4:17
  • The quran never says to get married early, it says to help not force. Don't follow people's interpretation if it does not help you. – user12537 May 9 '15 at 21:43
  • Sometimes when you get married, the other person's luck/fate/destiny (Qismet) will affect yours and possible to help you get in shape, financially. When ALLAH gave me a kid, HE also gave me a much better job then the one I had. The job came like outta the blue to me hence I say it was because of my kid's good luck that was given to him by ALLAH az'zawajal. – user14305 Nov 8 '15 at 11:01
  • In general is is preferred to obay your parents – FindOutIslamNow Nov 7 '18 at 3:46
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The Prophet says that marriage is his tradition. But when your situation is not good for marriage, nothing and no-one forces you to marry with someone else.
I'm not an scholar so I don't know exact Hadith stating it, but I know Islam does not force you to do something that is bad for you or someone else.

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    My family can do things outside the Quran for there on good but as i am weak, they put quotations on me. It would be better to have something quoted from Quran about this. – Nofel Feb 12 '14 at 6:34
  • @Nofel If your desire for women is very stronge, it is Haram to delay when you have the enough costs of money. This is because this stronge desire can cause one to do something Haram like (Zena) or masturbation – FindOutIslamNow Nov 7 '18 at 3:41
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In Islam, a marriage is (also) considered a "contract" between a man and a woman that they agree to live together as a husband and a wife. This contract has obligations on both man and woman. One responsibility of the husband is to provide for all the financial needs of his wife and their children. "Mehr" is a token of that responsibility that is to be given on nikkah.

Like any other contract, If you think that you can not fulfill your side of the obligation, you should not enter this contract in the first place.

People usually advice to "get married", usually to a careless man, in the hope that he will realize his responsibility and get serious in life.

  • Well now that i married for a year now, and totally jobless. I feel crisis over me. I don't know what to do. I do want to make my wife suffer coz of me. I have a child on way as my wife wanting a child. What should i do? What islam says – Nofel May 6 '15 at 19:22
  • when your situation has changed completely, now you're asking new question totally irrelevant to the original question asked. I suggest you ask another question by asking more of a rule or explanation rather than mere advices. @Nofel – servant-of-Wiser May 9 '15 at 18:48
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as i know, you should marry even if you do not have enough money. proofs: 1) quran 24:32 http://www.islamawakened.com/quran/24/32/default.htm 2) hadiths about marrying of a poor man : http://sunnah.com/search/?q=iron+ring+quran .

counterargument is that men should support his family ( quran 4:34 , http://sunnah.com/riyadussaliheen/1/277 ) - answer to it: that can be interpreted as he should support them as much as he can or interpreted as support only basic needs of food, cloth, home, etc; and logic argument is that even if he cannot support his wife, she can live as she did before, supported by parents and they can continue to live separately.

  • you should marry even if you do not have enough money. Nope, Hadith says "if you have money". – FindOutIslamNow Nov 7 '18 at 3:43

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