Is it wrong to judge the man that might be a good husband before I even meet him?

Question

There is a man (a few years younger than me) who told my friend that he likes me. My friend told me that he likes me but that I should not take him seriously because he will lie to me and talk to other girls. My other friend (she doesn't know him well) says I should not speak to him.

I have him on my social media and it seems that he is a nice and responsible person (goes to work, gym, go out with friends...). I honestly am confused because I don't see how he is talking to other girls unless he obviously doesn't share that so how would I know? I met him once shortly before he told my friend he likes me and he seems nice and my type.

Should I avoid him or should I meet him again to ask if he is serious about me? I am 26 and he is 24, are we too young to get married even though I feel that I am at that age where I am ready to get married inshallah.

Thank you.

Answer 1

Islam generally discourages unfounded suspicion:

O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. ...
_{Qur'an 49:12 (See also: Sahih al-Bukhari 6064)}

You're mostly going to have to use your own judgement as to whether your friend is trustworthy and is making well-founded assertions, or if they're simply spreading gossip. Random people on the Internet cannot reasonably judge this.

Islam encourages the use of the wali (which Wikipedia calls the "agent of the bride") to investigate to suitability of potential husbands. Istikhara prayer is also often used in making decisions about marriage.

Your ages are unproblematic for marriage in Islam. However, there are also other factors to consider: compatibility, career choices, health issues, where you want to live, potential children, etc.

There's various scholarly opinions on non-mahram interactions for the purpose of seeking a spouse. However, the answer to What if a husband is displeased with his new wife's body after getting married? contains relevant ahadith, where we see how the general rules on non-mahram interactions are slightly relaxed.

Answer 2

Assalamualaikum sister, I think we don't need hadith or Qur'an to solve these matters. My suggestion is, go talk to him and make him comfortable enough to share his purpose in life. Because there are no good man can hold his goodness without a purpose, and of course. When it comes to build a family, a man must have mentally mature. As a man i can tell you that the measurement of a man maturity is his purpose of life. If his purpose of life matches your ideology, then you'll have a happy life. Cheers