I am married to a muslim man and have three muslim children but am not muslim myself. My questions are:-
- Can I go to his funeral?
- Can I wash his body (wadoo)?
- Can I go to the the grave and watch?
I will try to answer your questions briefly one by one.
- Can I go to his funeral?
Non-Muslims are not allowed to attend the funeral prayer and I found scholars permitting to hinder them to do so. Even if a Muslim woman could attend it or perform it, attending the prayer in a congregation for her seems rather an exception (May females participate in Janaza salat?).
- Can I wash his body (Wadoo)?
Basically for a Muslim couple the wife is allowed to wash (ghusl) her husband and vice-versa. But the fatwas and statements from the books of Muslim scholars say a non-Muslim wife is not allowed to do, so as she neither feels like this is/was an order given by the Prophet () nor does she have the necessary intention. (I could only find this fatwa in Arabic language islamqa #154548)
- Can I go to the grave and watch?
In most schools of jurisprudence it is not allowed for female to follow the funeral nor go to the graveyard to attend the burial. This prohibition is even taken more seriously for non-Muslim women (Again I have only an Arabic fatwa islamweb #78733)