Is there an authentic hadith to the effect of "If Fatima suffers, I also suffer. Don't you ever marry anyone but Fatima"?

Question

M. Arnez, Empowering women through Islam: Fatayat NU between tradition and change, J. Islamic Studies, 2010 (doi), p. 83 describes how Siti Musdah Mulia, an Indonesian women's rights activist, uses the following hadith to indicate that the Prophet discouraged polygyny.

[...] when the husband of Fatima, Ali ibn Abi Talib, wanted to marry again, the Prophet was angry. He summoned Ali ibn Abi Talib. He said: For your information, Fatima is my child. If Fatima is troubled, I'm also troubled. If Fatima suffers, I also suffer. Don't you ever marry anyone but Fatima. And Ali ibn Abi Talib did not do so.

I'm wondering if this hadith is authentic and accurate as stated above.

Question: Is there an authentic hadith to this effect?

Searching sunnah.com listed a range of hadith with similar meanings, but I didn't find one with wording to this effect. The closest I found was:

... No doubt, Fatima is a part of me, I hate to see her being troubled. By Allah, the daughter of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) and the daughter of Allah's Enemy cannot be the wives of one man." So `Ali gave up that engagement. ... -- Sahih al-Bukhari 3729 (sunnah.com)

It doesn't convey the same meaning; the Prophet instead forbids Ali from marrying a second wife who is "Allah's Enemy".

Answer 1

Note that this incident happened after fath Mekka.

There are several ahadith quoting the words:

Fatima is a part of me. He in fact tortures me who tortures her. (sahih Muslim)

إِنَّمَا فَاطِمَةُ بَضْعَةٌ مِنِّي يُؤْذِينِي مَا آذَاهَا

One which might get close to the one you posted is:

I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) who was on the pulpit, saying, "Banu Hisham bin Al-Mughira have requested me to allow them to marry their daughter to 'Ali bin Abu Talib, but I don't give permission, and will not give permission unless 'Ali bin Abi Talib divorces my daughter in order to marry their daughter, because Fatima is a part of my body, and I hate what she hates to see, and what hurts her, hurts me." (Sahih al-Bukhari)

an other quoted the reason for the refusal:

'Ali b. Husain reported that Miswar b. Makhramah informed him that 'Ali b. Abi Talib sent the proposal of marriage to the daughter of Abu Jahl as he had Fatima, the daughter of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ), (as his wife). When Fatima heard about it, she came to Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) and said: The people say that you never feel angry on account of your daughters and now 'Ali is going to marry the daughter of Abu Jahl. Makhramah said: Thereupon Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) rose up and I heard him reciting Tashahhud and say: Now to the point. I gave a daughter of mine (Zainab) to Abu'l-'As b. Rabi, and he spoke to me and spoke the truth. Verily Fatima, the daughter of Muhammad, is a part of me and I do not approve that she may be put to any trial and by Allah, the daughter of Allah's Messenger cannot be combined with the daughter of God's enemy (as the co-wives) of one person. Thereupon 'Ali gave up (the idea of his intended) marriage.
(sahih al-Bukhari, the one you found from sahih al-Bukhari and in sunan ibn Majah)

so the main reason is not the Prophet's refusal for polygyny, but his refusal to see the daughter of the enemy of Allah (abu Jahl) and the daughter of the servant of Allah (Fatima bint Muhammad) being co-wives of the same husband!

See also fatwa islamqa #162287

Scholars explained this hadith based on the verse (33:53):

... And it is not [conceivable or lawful] for you to harm the Messenger of Allah or to marry his wives after him, ever. Indeed, that would be in the sight of Allah an enormity.

so the major issue according this view is that it is not lawful to harm the Prophet (). and as he made clear that hurting or harming Fatima() is equal to harming him, it was not lawful for 'Ali() to marry abu Jahl's daughter.

Ibn al-Jawzy said it is possible that the Prophet () made it a condition for marriage that 'Ali shouldn't marry an other wife, while married to Fatima().

For more details see the Arabic fatwa islamweb #163241.

Also note that in other versions of the hadith the statement:

I do not make a legal thing illegal, nor do I make an illegal thing legal
(sahih al-Bukari, sahih Muslim and sunan abi Dawod)

appears, which is a clear statement against the claim, that the Prophet () discouraged polygyny, but makes clear that we have a special case here!

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Note that in 'ilal a-sharai' (meaning "the cause of situations") Volume 1 pages 185-186 Sheikh Saduq quotes a similar quote affirming the story about the proposal for Juwayriya the daughter of abu Jahl does actually appears in Shi'a sources too:

فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله يا علي أما علمت أن فاطمة بضعة منى وأنا منها فمن آذاها فقد آذاني من آذاني فقد آذى الله ومن آذاها بعد موتى كان كمن آذاها في حياتي ومن آذاها في حياتي كانكمن آذاها بعد موتى

(My own translation take it with the necessary care)

And the Messenger of Allah () said: Oh 'Ali, don't you know that Fatima is a part of me and I'm part of her. He who in fact hurts her hurts me, and who hurts me hurts Allah. And he who hurts her after my death is as one who hurted her during my lifetime and he whom hurts her during my lifetime is as one whom hurts her after my death

Answer 2

Shias believe that the narration regarding Imam Ali isn't true:

• As the prophet is commanding against Qur'an. According to Qur'an any man is allowed to marry up to 4 women.
• The narrator of the this narration is Meswar ibn Makhrama (مسور بن مخرمه) who is an enemy of the Ahl al-Beyt. He was from a Khawarij. From Al-Zahabi's Siyar A'lam al-Nubala Vol. 3 Pg. 391 & 392:

قال الزبير بن بكار: كانت الخوارج تغشاه وينتحلونه.

Khawarij friendly with him and knew him one of themselves.

So the narrator is among Khawarij who fought Imam Ali.

قال عروة: فلم أسمع المسور ذكر معاوية إلا صلي عليه.

I never heard Meswar to speak of Muawiah other than him sending peace towards him

But Muawiah is one who fought Imam Ali in the Battle of Siffin

Clearly he's full of hatred for Imam Ali and trusting him for narrations about Imam Ali or any Hadith would be unwise.

• Among all women, Ali would never want to marry the daughter of AbuJahl ( he was killed by Ali in the battle of Badr fighting against the Prophet's army) a girl who was never among the believers. She was among the tulaqa

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The correct version mentioned in the Sunni narrations is from Sahih Muslim also mentioned in MediSaif's answer:

The Virtues Of Fatimah (RA), The Daughter Of The Prophet (SAW)

Fatima is a part of me. He in fact tortures me who tortures her.

Answer 3

Another Shia argument why the hadith cannot be authentic:

Ali ibn Abi Talib never intended to have a second wife whilst he was married to the daughter of the prophet, as it was not a "normal" marriage. Allah (swt) decided the marriage of Ali and Fatimah and it was celebrated in the heavens. The Prophet was informed about Allah's (swt) decision by Gibraeel.

Ali and Fatima and their two sons are the progeny of the Prophet, his most beloved family, holding a special status with him and Allah (swt). They are without sin and their offspring is without sin and they are the protection of the religion of Islam.

Why would Ali wish to marry a second wife when he had the best wife?

Fatimah is the leader of the women of Paradise and one of the four best women. Khadijah, the mother of Fatimah and the first wife of the Prophet, is as well one of the four best women and the Prophet did not marry a second wife whilst he was married to her.