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I have been separated from my husband for a year, we have 3 kids together, I left the house when I was pregnant with my last. We didn't speak or see each other for months then I decided to have a sheikh talk to him. I was angry and at the time wanted a divorce. He filed for a legal divorce (non Islamic), which has been dismissed in the court for failure to follow up. We are in the process of a legal separation from my home country (again not Islamic). He agreed to the separation but signed the wrong form, I signed but it has not been finalized, I want to work things out but he's giving me mixed signals. We have not seen each other since the day I left.

Are we divorced in Islam (we are Sunni) since he didn't utter the words "I divorce you"? But when I ask him he says we're divorced.

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  • Dear sister, from your description, the situation is very complex do decide such a delicate matter. Not only your lives are of concern, also of your kids'. Please consult with a knowledgeable and practicing alim in your locality, better in person. InshAllah a better outcome will come out. Jajhakallah.
    – kmonsoor
    Commented Mar 3, 2015 at 16:37
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    Islamic divorce and legal divorce are not different from each other. Divorce doesn't have to be pronounced with exact words. If the law of the country requires you to do necessary documentation, then in order for divorce to happen, completing of legal documents is enough. A sheikh probably may not be the right person to do it. A divorce lawyer or some legal court dealing in marriage and divorce is the proper place to address this issue.
    – Tom Marvolo Riddle
    Commented Feb 29, 2016 at 15:34

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From your question context i could only read out that you are both separated and it seems your husband doesn't want to make it official either with intent or because of his idleness.

But separation doesn't mean divorce: When he told you that you are divorced (as an answer of your Question) did you have any witnesses? If not i can't imagine this would count as a divorce (but Allah knows best)!

So you either have to force him to make things clear by setting an ultimatum or asking him to say it clearly in front of witnesses!

Of course it would be better to have it documented: therefore i would advise you to go the legal way and if necessary and possible take a lawyer to put pressure on him!

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  • +1 for suggesting/recommending legal way. IMO if its done legally and according to law of the land, its also so-called Islamic ways. IMO Legal isn't separate from Islamic way. They are same.
    – Tom Marvolo Riddle
    Commented Feb 29, 2016 at 15:31
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When he say we are divorced then you are divorced. if he say it 3 times then its thalaq 3 and you cant back with him .if you want to remaried him he and you should married with other then after each one divorced you and him can married again thats all what i know .... you can thalaq with give mahr (shaddaq) when you marry to him

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    This answer tries to conclude without taking full context into consideration. And, obviously without any reference.
    – kmonsoor
    Commented Mar 3, 2015 at 16:39
  • -1 for this answer is based on fables and fantasies that are prevalent in Muslim societies. These fable pay 0% consideration to social conditions and the context in which divorce happens. They are a source of pain and agony in the Muslim societies. They are outdated and need to be scratched of our consciousness.
    – Tom Marvolo Riddle
    Commented Feb 29, 2016 at 15:40

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