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Assalamu Alaikum,

My name is FATHIMA ,and I have been married since a year. I would say till I was 23 years of age Allah Subhanahuwathala has given me all Good Parents, good education, good reputation and all that time i never forgot him and had always prayed.... I had done some sins due to my ignorance or fragility.

Now since marriage nothing is falling in place... My husbands family is not at all God fearing and does ibadath only for namesake. My husband is abroad and cannot take me there as his salary is not sufficient. For 1 year I have been trying for a job there but no doors opened finally during last visit we tried for baby again no result... Ok then I thought I'll go tho another country and search a job.. that too not possible due to many many problems.Its hell for me to stay at husbands place b'coz they never do ibadath and treats me like a housemaid. My parents married off me to this house thinking they are good... but only my husband is good not them... Ok I am ready to adjust with in-laws if I am settled with something a baby or a job or if am with my husband... nothing is possible... i have prayed in all possible ways does thahajjud as regularly as possible and recites quran and does all special prayeds.... What else do i do... I feel Forsaken by Allah

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closed as off-topic by Bleeding Fingers, Muslim, Mujahid مجاهد Feb 19 at 14:23

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Welcome to Islam. This question is off-topic because this site is strictly about question related to Islam and is Not a Muslim Peer Support Group. Please go through the help center and How to Ask. Other then that this question is too-broad and tips towards primarily opinion-based. Consider editing it. –  Bleeding Fingers Feb 17 at 17:35

5 Answers 5

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Remember: blows that do not break your back make it stronger.

I can very well empathize with your situation and the frustration that you may be going through, as I am sure many of us here. Almost all of us have been in situations where prayers took a bit of time to be answered. In your particular case, I can imagine the difficulty in doing this, very akin to thinking under fire, but please do!

There may be two reasons that Allah is putting you through this:

He is making you stronger.

or

There is some area where you may possibly be lacking.

My recommendations:

  1. This is the time to do a bit of self-analysis. Sit and think very hard where you may be going wrong. Check your ibaadah. For example, are you missing your salaahs? Fajr, or may be any other salaah? Pray at the early times. Similarly, check whether you have compensated for the fasts that you may have missed, and so on. Do charity regularly, since charity extinguishes Allah's anger.

  2. Stop being judgemental! Deciding whether a person is praying with sincerity or not is for Allah to decide. Remember that even the Messenger (SAWS) was not given the right to punish the hypocrites, even though he knew full-well (via Revelation from Allah) who they were. Your in-laws may or may be sincere, but your judging them may not be correct, and in fact may be a sign of arrogance. (I'm sorry.) Try to find a way to live with them and accept them for what they are. Leave their judgement for Allah.

  3. Have you considered asking your husband to come back? I'm sure there may be many job opportunities where you currently are, though he may not make as much as he may be making currently in the foreign job. Maybe if he is back with his family, the peace of mind that it affords him will give him an opportunity to think hard on enhancing his skills through further education. I do not know your circumstances, but from an Islamic perspective, I think it may be a sin for a man to be away from his wife for so long.

Trust me, when you start rectifying yourself, wonders will (insha Allah) begin to happen. Change yourself and your circumstances will be taken care of by Allah, insha Allah.

HTH.

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I understand you're being in a distressful situation and it's easy for us to pretend to have something helpful to suggest, but out of personal experience, I think the more we strengthen our relationship with Allah during times of hardship it's easier for us to get along with life calamities. Ultimately we should view life as a trial, it's through resisting the distressful moments and bitter incidents that we grow spiritually and find strength in Allah. So one way of looking at it is to pray and wait for an answer to our specific problem but the more intelligent approach is to accept our destiny but ask Allah for strength and support in getting along with it. That's how we win over our situation no matter how long or how worse it persists. But I pray that you can find a job at your husband's location or that you soon have a baby that can fill the gap you feel in your life. But Allah is the best comforter of all.

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Sister may Allah bless you with patience, remember the story of younas AS? He was given all and was taken away everything from and when his wife complained he compared the duration of the blessings vs duration of test and it was minor hence he remained patience. Sister Allah is testing you, I can tell because my own sister is going through the same and I tell her exactly what I am telling you, even worse she did not have very good life even before marriage. So when you think you have problem and you are being patient and you can't take more remember there are people who are suffering even more and they are more patient. Allah wants to raise your rank may be, that's why he is testing you so please be patient,

"For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease." - Qur'an 94:5-6

"And if Allah should touch you with adversity, there is no remover of it except Him. And if He touches you with good - then He is over all things competent." - Qur'an 6:17

"[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed - and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving]" - Qur'an 67:2

"O you who have believed, seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, Allah is with the patient." - Qur'an 2:153

"...And Allah loves the steadfast" - Qur'an 3:146

So have faith in Allah and He is all knowing all merciful. He will test you, just have faith in Allah and insh'Allah wait for the good.

A sincere advice: keep doing dua' in your qayam um lail (tahajjud) its time when Allah never reject your prayer provided you are sincere. Also make sure you eat hallaal and not haraam, don't worry about your sins just ask for Allah's forgiveness, indeed he is most forgiving most merciful.

Remember Allah does not test you more than you are capable of bearing

"Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity...." - Qur'an 2:286

One more thing, you may think it's good for you to goto your husband now but Allah has got better plans He knows what you don't, so just pray/supplicate as much as possible

Also please be aware, never be hopeless from Allah, there is one that is hopeless of Him the most merciful, it's is Shaytaan (la'natullah) and this iblees forgot the point that Allah is most merciful and lost all the hopes, instead he turned to be an enemy of Allah (SWT) and he will never be succeeded. So Please do not be hopeless and save your imaan, for there is one thing that we the muslims have faith in and we have biggest hope, it is the day of judgement, if your in-laws are not good to you (same story for my own sister) be good to them to your best, keep praying to Allah and hope that on day of judgement you will be standing one-to-one with Allah and He is most just.

"... And Allah Knows, while you know not." - Qur'an 2:216

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Assalam-o-Alaikum Sister Fatima.

You might have heard the hadees: "Earth is hell for Momin, and heaven for the infidel". Right? So if you're saying that you pray alot you're a momin for you follow what Allah is teaching you, how can you get everything so easily in this earth?

Fastest way is of Devil, you do believe that don't you? Once you're in a rush you're making many mistakes and you're going through alot of sins and thus you aren't getting what you deserve.

Congratulations for your marriage, and I wish you get a baby soon. However, these hurdles are just the signs of Allah's test on you. Don't worry, Allah loves his creation and tests them before giving them unending happiness. If you were always kept into his praise and always worshipped him and offered your prayers, how can you even think that Allah has given up on you?

I won't say that this evil deed is some sorf of Black Magic or a punishment onto you for the sins of your in-laws, No! That's not what is going on here. Its just test. He is testing your believe on Allah.

A person's prayers are fulfilled once he is purified, purified by the love of Allah, you should offer your prayers and its good that you are active in Tahajjud too. Once you're ppassed in test, for Him its just to say: 'Kun Fa'yakun' - English: 'Be, and thus it is'.

Have faith in Allah, he will give you everything what you are praying for. Prayers are fulfilled but on their time. How many times would you try to pray to Allah before giving up?

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I am sorry for this image, but I hope you are getting my point. You should never give up praying and getting help from Allah, all the prophets prayed to Allah before reaching their final destination. You might be just there, just have faith in Allah!

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I can understand your situation. I cannot be of much help to you from where I am. But I think that you can do lot for yourself. You say you have been praying but prayers have not been answered yet. Unfortunately the solution is for you to pray even more. Through personal experience it this that we have learned. Allah tells us to seek help with patience and prayers. Continue to do it and never despair of the mercy of Allah. Allah never abandons those who seek His Help. Allah is Powerful and He can change a decision in an instant. I will remember you in my prayers and ask Allah to help you. I hope He will. As far as your in-laws are concerned, you should try to make them realize that what they are doing is wrong. This will need some thinking on your part. Since you appear to be resourceful, you will find the means.

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